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I think I found a higher power loophole for myself!
(Preview)
I refuse to believe in any man made definition of god, heaven, hell or afterlife. In fact I've searched and found them all to be laughably rediculous. As you can imagine this has made acceptance of the Alcoholics Anonymous program somewhat difficult...impossible actually...but last night lying i...
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TipsyMcstagger
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8
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631
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Fortune Cookie
(Preview)
Earlier tonight we had fortune cookies with dinner. I saved mine until later. When the men got home from their meeting, one of them was telling me about an amends he had made at the meeting. The day before he had picked up his nine-month coin and another fellow who was his rival in a romantic relationship...
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Wolfie55
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4
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556
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I seriously considered telling you that I was dead
(Preview)
Yeah, that's right. I was going to come on and pose as my girlfriend who was honoring a request left in my suicide letter for her to log in to my account here and tell you goodbye and that I wished you all well and hoped that my horrible end somehow compelled you to stay sober.
What would ever posses someon...
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TipsyMcstagger
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17
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798
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Meditation
(Preview)
Thought I'ld share this as it struck a chord with me today. Today I Reaffirm My Commitment To Recovery Today I commit myself to my most important project-My Recovery. My recovery, this wonderful broadening of potential, deserves my devotion, my time and my energy. I give full attention to my recove...
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Tracey C
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4
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292
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My alcoholism today.
(Preview)
I didn't think about it too much today. It was kind of nice to not think about it for a bit. I knew I would think about it again, but I've been thinking of it for most of my day, every day, for a month now! A break was nice. It seemed okay to be just Natasha for the day, and not Natasha the alcholic. I'm in a ga...
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justadrunk
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10
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404
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An Elephant Story
(Preview)
I just love animal stories. Most people know I work in a recovery house. I got a brochure today for recovery oriented DVDs from some place in Texas. Earnie Larsen, John Bradshaw, the kind of stuff they swear we watched in 28-day programs but none of us can remember seeing. Anyway, there was one movie - t...
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Wolfie55
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2
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831
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Brain not switching off!
(Preview)
Not a cloud in the sky. Recovery is good. Steps working well. No resentments. But I cannot switch my brain off. Therefore I cannot sleep. Anyone experience this? -- Edited by gonee on Sunday 29th of April 2012 09:34:33 PM
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gonee
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5
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469
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Lets remember Ebby.
(Preview)
I never forget Ebby because to me Ebby was the start .I always keep in the front of my Big Book a page from our monthly Share Mag. Like your greapvine. A letter from America. Why Ebby is my HERO. And I feel compelled to share it always. http://www.barefootsworld.net/aaebbyt.html God bless both Ebby...
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Polly
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8
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446
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Confused today.
(Preview)
I went to the large meeting last night that people offer to sponsor at. The sponsor I had that stopped answering my calls was there, this is the first time I've seen him. After the meeting, he seemed to be ignoring me, so I went up to say hi and tell him I had 30 days, and part of that was thanks to him. He sho...
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justadrunk
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15
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2175
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The Great Paradox
(Preview)
These legacies of suffering and of recovery are easily passed among alcoholics, one to the other. This is our gift from God, and its bestowal upon others like us is the one aim that today animates A.A.'s all around the globe. TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 151 The great paradox of A.A. is that I...
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Frodo
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3
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398
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Coolest thing...
(Preview)
...coming home from a meeting and feeling connected to something greater than myself. ...feeling a sense of calm rather than complete panic. ...meeting two people who know me and I know them before we even know each others' stories. I had never met either woman before, but instantly felt I knew them....
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very very tired
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8
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422
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God's got the trouble shovel out again.
(Preview)
OK, so here's what's going well. Got a new job Have handed over my old responsibilities to the guy who's doing my old job (actually split it between 5 other guys.) Running up on two new projects. My house is almost packed up for a move Friends are waiting to help Where's the trouble then? Landlady of the ne...
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bikerbill
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13
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411
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Sick and loving it
(Preview)
Out of no where yesterday I got ridiculously sick. I threw up in a parking garage and continiued to do so all night long. Sweating, tossing and turning all night. Now I know to most of you this would be seemingly terrible I'm psyched that this is not drug/ alcohol induced. I'm becoming a "normal&qu...
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bizzaro me
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4
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357
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I'm a Member
(Preview)
hello lovely people,
Just wanted to stop by and report that I have officially joined an AA group inn my city - and today I am celebrating 12 days sober. This Sunday it will be 2 weeks sober - I can't tell you how good it feels to keep accumulating those 24 hours'
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Aspgrl
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15
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438
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Oh how much I hate baseball season...
(Preview)
I love baseball and everything associated with it, the only problem is as any other AA/ baseball fan knows, is that a nice cold beer goes best whether at home or at the park. This being my 63rd day in recovery it's very hard to seperate the two and it bums me out that until I can accept that i don't need one dri...
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bizzaro me
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9
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396
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A Pebble in the Water Makes an Effect
(Preview)
I'm a writer. Stories pour from my mind as fast as I pour wine into my glass. Without it, I'm stoic. Nothing. What do I do? I'm free when I write. I love myself when I can finally speak, express the thoughts that spin in the back of my mind every minute of every day. Why is it so controlled by drink? Whe...
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Trinity Archer
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10
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426
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In Memory of
(Preview)
I was just thinking of some things my sponsor said to me way back when. I think he was a mathematician because he was always adding and subtracting things from my life when he talked. I was dating a woman who drank and she didn't understand the whole total abstinence thing and to make a long story short I wa...
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Wolfie55
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4
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535
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Robin W on alcoholism
(Preview)
Hi all -- can't believe how long it's been since I've been on here. Can never seem to use the computer now that my son has discovered video games. ;) Great to be sober and see lots of new folks on here...gotta love the online fellowship. Anyway, have been able to have to the computer to myself (he and his mo...
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SteveP
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6
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490
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Happy to have found this board
(Preview)
I have relapsed so many times out of fear and anxiety from going to meetings and dealing with people face to face. I've always had bad social anxiety but it got even worse with using/drinking. I started going to this one meeting every week, but I know that's not enough and I'm very uncomfortable speakin...
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bizzaro me
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13
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468
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Minding my own business
(Preview)
I was walking by a hospital the other day and I could hear the patients shouting 13 13 13 13 13. The fence was too high to see over so I peeked though a crack in the fence. Then someone poked me in the eye and they all started shouting 14, 14, 14, 14, This really amused me from another site and it sure lets me kno...
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maire rua
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5
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788
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Solution
(Preview)
Service work kept me high and dry today. I'm getting all tangled up in AA now. My son will talk to himself sometimes, when he's trying to find courage. He's very afraid of heights. So afraid that even if I just lift him up too high, he gets very scared. A bird built a nest in our wreath out front, and the...
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justadrunk
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5
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353
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My sponsor quit answering my calls.
(Preview)
I'm not sure what I did, or didn't do... but I haven't been able to get ahold of my sponsor for several days, and I'm not sure if that means I'm "fired" and I'm just suppose to quit calling? Is that what happens if someone doesn't want to work with you anymore? I only had this sponsor for a coupl...
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justadrunk
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30
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5297
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The day i surrendered...
(Preview)
I just read, "I just need to "say" it", a post here on the board. It reminded me of spining the wheel, the marble going around and around.. and every time it seemed to land on the good "Party" stuff. Shooting pool, drag racing, disco dancing (yah, I'm old lol), loud music, booties shakin', wild cars, fa...
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John
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9
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447
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Long Week
(Preview)
About a week ago, I had a day from hell. One of the guys I do a group thing with relapsed and beat a guy to death. So he's up on murder charges. There but for the grace of God go I. One of my sponcees told me his father was on life support, dying of cancer. Its too bad; he's actually a good man. I painted myself int...
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Wolfie55
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11
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473
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AA Thoughts for today.
(Preview)
Meditation "Perhaps one of the greatest rewards of meditation and prayer is the sense of belonging that comes to us. We no longer live in a completely hostile world. We are no longer lost and frightened and purposeless. We know that God lovingly watches over us. We know that when we turn to Him, a...
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Polly
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4
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3593
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The History Of AA in England.
(Preview)
Hope some may find this interesting. I was giving it a little study tonight as I often do, just like the Big Book, so very much to take in and its a life long understanding and learning. So no rush. Also under study for me is the European structure and hand book full of interesting info. I live and learn :} ...
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Polly
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3
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385
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Heading out in a minute!
(Preview)
Stoppin in to say hey and hoping all are workin in the solution guided by the God of your own understanding.IF NOT! WELCOME, our program offers a new way of life practised by the application of spiritual principles in all affairs of your actions and deeds.Guided by your Higher Power "life"...
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mikef
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2
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416
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God Calling - I Make the Opportunities
(Preview)
"Never doubt. Have no fear. Watch the faintest tremor of fear, and stop all work, everything, and rest before Me until you are joyful and strong again. Deal in the same way with all tired feelings. Times of withdrawal for rest always precede fresh miracle-working. My work in the world has bee...
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deb365
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0
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269
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Feeling good - thinking of drinking again.
(Preview)
When I came to AA around the 1st of the year, I felt nothing but the rawness of my open wounds for the first week or so, and was overwhelmingly grateful to be sober... floating in the clouds. I started going to less meetings after the first week, because I was SO HAPPY, and seemingly "not that bad&qu...
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justadrunk
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13
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865
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Kinda sad
(Preview)
My grandsponsor is ailing and tonight I heard my sponsor was taking him to a meeting so I went out of my way to get there. He has not made it out to many meetings lately. He did not look good. He is a super fiesty loud italian guy and he was very frail and not the same. I have had the same grandsponsor my whole...
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pinkchip
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6
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421
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Happiness is not the point. !
(Preview)
*~*~*~*~*^Daily Reflections^*~*~*~*~* HAPPINESS IS NOT THE POINT I don't think happiness or unhappiness is the point. How do we meet the problems we face? How do we best learn from them and transmit what we have learned to others, if they would receive the knowledge? AS BILL SEES IT, p. 306 In m...
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Polly
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2
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1727
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"I knew I would live, and that was far more terrifying"
(Preview)
I'm trying to read the stories at the end of the BB more, as whenever I read them, I identify more and more. I'd read many of them when I first come in, round about three years ago, but they often didn't register at the time. Anyway, I was re-reading "Empty on the Inside" the other day (starting o...
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SteveP
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6
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400
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The Morning Fog
(Preview)
Reading the posts on this board, I see that telling our stories is a part of the MIP tradition. What follows is where I was, what happened, and how I am now. I think I was always an alcoholic. My first drunk came in 1987, when I was 2 years old. My parents were hosting a dinner party and while I don't rememb...
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Aspgrl
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10
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488
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Thought For Today
(Preview)
"Fear is often the force that prevents me from acquiring and cultivating the power of faith. Fear blocks my appreciation of beauty, tolerance, forgiveness, service, and serenity." - daily reflection
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Wolfie55
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4
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1950
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Faith is a necessary coping skill
(Preview)
This is something I often spout off in meetings. I was reminded of it when reading Wolfie's post of the daily reflection. When I came into AA, I really had faith in nothing. Hence, I was paralyzed and crippled with fear and anxiety about literally everything. Slowly in recovery, everything has cha...
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pinkchip
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7
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1051
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Today I had a choice
(Preview)
I could have started my day with a meeting--love those early morning meetings. Instead, I chose to start my day with a difficult conversation with my husband who is 3 weeks out of a detox, but not in recovery. (Imagine that: an alcoholic marrying an alcoholic--wonder how that happened). Tomorrow, I...
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very very tired
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6
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491
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No real desire to drink.......
(Preview)
I just wanted to post that for at least 6 months, I really do not want to drink! I am not trying to jinx myself nor am I claiming I am "cured" or anything like that, I just wanted to assure folks who wonder if they can ever get periods of freedom, apparently it happens. I have been in this state bef...
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turninggrey
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9
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717
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Treat Yourself as you Treat Others
(Preview)
At my Step 3 discussion meeting last night, we talked about "letting go and letting God".
I have heard this phrase before, outside of the AA context. Talking about it along with step 3 last night made me meditate on what it means to me. What it means to me is what I have written in my signature...
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Aspgrl
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2
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390
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Not seeing child for weeks to attend 24/7meetingsHeHellH
(Preview)
Hello, I have a few questions to ask (reaching out one final time) about my situation. Quick version of the story...Met my Guy 2years ago. Ended up pregnant very quickly 3 months into the relationship about 2months later i Found out oxy meth alcohol were his everyday staples. I helped clean him up last...
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tydasu
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7
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4314
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Tell me what you think of this line
(Preview)
in my home group`s meeting script: "If you cannot refrain from texting, you will be asked to take it outside by a home group member." OH pardon me, I`m a home group member. I don`t think any other home group member has any authority oer me, regardless of what some screwy "group conscien...
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FlyingSquirrel
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14
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1310
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DUI and GM lease
(Preview)
Just throwing this out there. Maybe someone has dealt with this. I am thinking of leasing a GM equinox. But I had my 2nd dui 4 1/2 years ago. The truck I was driving was a lease. I was near the end of the lease but the contract took the truck and I had to pay all the months left on it. I get it...i messed up....
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SUSIE
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4
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4084
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"The truth is Natasha, I do want to be with you."
(Preview)
And then he gives me a big hug. He must have felt a huge release to just say it finally, after not knowing what he could ever do to get me to stop drinking for over a year now. He was trying the "tough love" approach, and it was hurting him too, not just me. I'm sure someone recommended he do it, a...
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justadrunk
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15
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507
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Today I was reminded of the importance of step4. 5. 6
(Preview)
I just posted a heartful share more or less about my past but as always on how working my program had enabled me to change. And I just wanted to say to anyone who may be struggling with this..Hay just do it.and without fear. Mine was along time ago. But I was ready for them. I wanted to move on along my path to b...
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Polly
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1
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565
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I wanted to slip away...
(Preview)
but you wouldn't let me drift into the abyss. Although I was drowning in the unfathomable depths of my own coal black soul, you never let go of my hand. I could always see your reflection dancing above me as I looked up through the water and tried to wave goodbye. Your hands wouldn't wave and you pulled me t...
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justadrunk
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4
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411
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I knew to this, and would love to talk to someone who understands what im going through.
(Preview)
Hello everyone, Im new to this and have just recently admitted my addiction. I have always struggled with addiction, well since I was a freshman in high school. I've done just about every drug in the book, and have drank since i was 14. My latest addicition was to oxycontin. I am now in a suboxone program...
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tkuhel12
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11
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1184
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I'm somebody.
(Preview)
I had my first meeting with my new sponsor today. I was excited to talk with her and get to know her a bit. We went out for lunch and hit it off immediately. She's an art teacher, I'm a music teacher. We talked of budget cuts and misunderstanding. Over compensating with volunteer work and having that...
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justadrunk
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6
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475
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"Skid Row Bill"
(Preview)
Came across this newspaper story from 1955 totally by accident - I was googling something completely different and saw this on list of hits -- and was blown away by it, not just about the destructivesness of the disease and the pathos, but the desire of some good people to try to what they could to help us...
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SteveP
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2
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655
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A question on tradition one
(Preview)
-- Edited by Wolfie55 on Thursday 19th of April 2012 07:24:02 AM -- Edited by Wolfie55 on Thursday 19th of April 2012 07:38:16 AM
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Wolfie55
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15
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950
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Bacon and Eggs
(Preview)
-- Edited by Wolfie55 on Thursday 19th of April 2012 07:38:54 AM
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Wolfie55
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6
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482
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What If I was sick with cancer instead of alcoholism?
(Preview)
I'm wondering this morning, how to go about today, after having this thought: What if I was sick with cancer instead of alcoholism? So far, ALL of the people who know I have alcoholism on my husbands side of the family, have not said a word to me. Not offered an "are you okay"? Stopped inte...
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justadrunk
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12
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389
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