Since starting to read the pages Polly suggested, memories are flooding my head like a movie reel when I go to bed. Some of them really jolt me, like when we were at the local RSL club. I was about 12, running around with friends outside and around the pokie machines. Mum was dancing with this older man. When they stopped and sat down he dropped dead. I had forgotten all about it. Maybe it was because it was the first dead person I had seen. Still can picture him turning blue.
*~*~*~*~*^Daily Reflections^*~*~*~*~* HEALING HEART AND MIND
Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 55
Since it is true that God comes to me through people, I can see that by keeping people at a distance I also keep God at a distance. God is nearer to me than I think and I can experience Him by loving people and allowing people to love me. But I can neither love nor be loved if I allow my secrets to get in the way.
It's the side of myself that I refuse to look at that rules me. I must be willing to look at the dark side in order to heal my mind and heart because that is the road to freedom. I must walk into darkness to find the light and walk into fear to find peace.
By revealing my secrets -- and thereby ridding myself of guilt -- I can actually change my thinking; by altering my thinking, I can change myself. My thoughts create my future. What I will be tomorrow is determined by what I think today..
Keep at it Tracey. I stay sober a day at a time,and I keep reading,sharing and talking face to face with other. Its the only way I can learn and it took me a very very long time. Its a wonderful journey today. Life without fear or resentments.
