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alcohol depression and panic attacks
(Preview)
hello, i am new to this website, i just wonder if someone cud help me. i hav been drinking now for nearly 20 yrs,never had any problem with it. about 4 yra s ago a big trauma happened in my life.since then every time i binge drink i get heavily depressed, crying all day non stop, with anxiety attacks and i don...
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aaman55
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2227
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Conference Approved Literature and tradition breaking
(Preview)
Hi everyone! I am a new forum user and usually my rule of thumb is to wait a while before ever posting (listen instead) but I have a question that I desperately seek answers/feedback to, if you will please be willing to give me your thoughts :) About 2 years ago, 2 friends and I started an 11th Step meditati...
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carpetslippers
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20
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8139
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A hard day today
(Preview)
So today I took my Mum up to Scotland for her sister's funeral. Georgina (Ina) was nearing 91 years old when she departed this life and Mum (Jean 85) and her sister Nettie (Elizabeth 81) are the lst of their family. My sister and her husband took their car and we all piled in. A total of 8 hours round trip dri...
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bikerbill
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1158
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I'm new. I'm not sure how to start here so I'll say why I joined.
(Preview)
Hi.It feels weird to do this but I think that Ive got some issues and need to get rid of them. I am a stay-at-home mom of two kids who are 14 months apart.My daughter just turned two in March and my little guy will be one next week. I was very depressed during my pregnancy with my son and also had post-partum...
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storm
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5
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5895
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Going to College
(Preview)
Recently i have been faced with having to alter my meeting schedule to attend graduate school. Two members of my home group, have confronted me about the fact that i have gone to a different meeting to accomadate my school schedule. I feel these individuals are attempting to manipulate me by attem...
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Junior
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5
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522
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Now. It's all there is.
(Preview)
All we have is now, the past is an illusion just chemicals in our brain and the future is yet to happen, more chemicals in our brain. Everything happens now, now is all there is. How crazy it is to regret something that doesn't exist. Life comes into our now and then it's gone. It doesn't hang around somewh...
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windowview
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5
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482
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Powerlessness and the loss of a Friend
(Preview)
Friday May 13th at 10pm Samantha my 16 year old Maine Coon Cat died in my arms in the pet hospital after discovering that she had a belly full of cancer. Samantha ha...
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cooncatbob
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9
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1111
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Daily Reflections ~ We Forgive & 24hrs a Day
(Preview)
Often it was while working on this Step with our sponsors or spiritual advisers that we first felt truly able to forgive others, no matter how deeply we felt they had wronged us. Our moral inventory had persuaded us that all-round forgiveness was desirable, but it was only when we resolutely tackled S...
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Sobrietyspell
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1
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932
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Missing Someone
(Preview)
I gotta say I miss the contact with my wife. Although the relationship was sick for so long, wasn't going anywhere and was overdue to end, I still miss the contact. Which is very different from actually missing someone. I barely give her a passing thought these days. There is someone else who I miss desp...
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bikerbill
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6
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681
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Step3
(Preview)
The BB tells me that God could, if He were sought. That He is a Father and we are His children. Do I really believe in this? I was once asked this question by my sponsor. I very casually said yes to it. That's when he really took off with me. Then why are you afraid and morose Gonee. I had no answer for him. But i...
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gonee
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4
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782
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Stunning, Powerful meeting tonight
(Preview)
The main sharer was so powerful, lot's of food for thought. I've never felt so uncomfortable in my life in a meeting. I guess I shoulda known what was coming when he started by producing his own well worn copy of the BB and started quoting not just chapter and verse but page number too. This guy holds fast t...
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bikerbill
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2
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661
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Clean house, trust God, help others
(Preview)
It really feels like the wreckage of the past is finally being swept away. A few days ago I revisited sep five with my sponsor and yes the original step five had left some detail out. The pure relief of getting thqt last bit out and not being judged was unreal and it's only taken four years and a lot of recent...
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bikerbill
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1
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1548
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Living in the day, regrets and projection
(Preview)
Just posted this on facebook, might be useful to people here. So I read a bit of Robbie Burns this morning, To a Mouse, the one that almost everyone knows, wee sleekit cowrin' timourous beastie etc. certainly many people know the 3rd line of the 7th verse, the best laid schemes of man...... So this is an o...
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bikerbill
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2
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951
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God Calling - Pray and Praise
(Preview)
Never weary in prayer. When one day man sees how marvelously his prayer has been answered, then he will deeply regret that he prayed so little. Pray until you almost cease to pray, because trust has become so rocklike, and then pray on because it has become so much a habit that you cannot resist it. And a...
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gladlee
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1
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462
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Hey Aquaman
(Preview)
so where are you, wot you up to. Not seen you on the forum since adam was a lad.
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bikerbill
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2
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537
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The strength of one drunk talking to another
(Preview)
As I grow in the Fellowship, I never cease to be amazed. I've heard the saying countless times "don't be afraid to talk to your sponsor, etc. -- they might need it as much as you." Got a bit of insight to just how true, how incredily true that is. I don't sponsor at the moment, but I've been talkin...
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SteveP
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2
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759
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Relapse after 22 years
(Preview)
Hi all. I'm new to the board. With humility I ask for your thoughts and feedback. I relapse after 22 years of sobriety this week. I always thought that if I ever took a drink or drug again, it would be when life got bad. I have survived a divorce, financial woes, loss of a job, and the death of both my par...
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LisaV
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25
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6994
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~ Admitted to Being an Alcoholic...Twice!
(Preview)
So, I went to my first meeting this morning, as promised to myself. It was nice. The group was very small and, from what I understood from others, it was a very casual reflections meeting with lots of sharing. I took a number from the only other woman there and borrowed some literature to read. I can hit th...
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vixen
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9
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684
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God Calling ~ First the Spiritual
(Preview)
What can I say to you? Your heart is torn. Then remember "He bindeth up the broken hearts." Just feel the tenderness of My hands as I bind up your wounds. Try to rest on these words, "Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.&...
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gladlee
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1
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464
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Daily Reflections ~ Know God; Know Peace & 24hrs a Day
(Preview)
It is plain that a life which includes deep resentment leads only to futility and unhappiness. . . . But with the alcoholic, whose hope is the maintenance and growth of a spiritual experience, this business of resentment is infinitely grave. ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, p.age 66 Know God; Know peace. No Go...
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Sobrietyspell
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1
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525
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update on progress
(Preview)
hi guys, have been feeling better later, doing a lot of work of getting rid of anxiety, am snowed under with work but getting to plenty of meetings, doing service and working the steps. Nearly finished six months of service and staying out of the politics which is a great feeling. I am looking for a new sp...
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maire rua
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6
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574
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when the kitten catches the mouse
(Preview)
Wednesday night I dropped in on a sponsee who wanted to talk through an issue. After we'd gone through that issue, he asked how I was. I told him. Felt bereft. Felt lonely. Felt anxious, like a mouse was dancing on my heart. So he said that he felt like that a bit ago. Then a couple of years ago he got talking t...
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bikerbill
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5
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809
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Alcoholism continued into the next generation.
(Preview)
The effect of alcoholism will be felt long after the alcoholic has passed on. It is one of those diseases that leaves emotional scars that continue to affect generation after generation if recovery is not sought and the disease arrested. Many of us cannot explain with reasonable sanity why our behav...
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gonee
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4
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766
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A motivational song for a recovering alcoholic
(Preview)
was listening to the lyrics of this song lately and thought of my beginning journey to stay sobre and my friends here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QGJuMBdaqIw Do you ever feel like a plastic bag Drifting throught the wind Wanting to start again Do you ever feel, feel so paper thin Like a house of...
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windowview
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4
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5795
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Living arrangements
(Preview)
A son and girlfriend want to move in, they say they are getting clean and sober. What expectations should I think about? Neither one works, they are trying to get back on their feet. Words of wisdom, experience would be appreciated. I do attend Alanon.
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nancy45
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12
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777
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how to have fun in a social situation without drink
(Preview)
I'm going out for lunch with some family this afternoon, I always used to have some lager at these times. But now I've realised I'm an alcoholic don't want any more of that. I found myself googling how to have fun without alcohol. Just goes to show you how dependent I was becoming a! Anyway found this whi...
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windowview
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5
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1107
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betwixt and between
(Preview)
Just felt like sharing this, not sure if I'm looking for advice or just comments really. About 2 weeks ago on these boards after a hellish weekend of 3 days pretty much drunk which felt great at the time but horrible when I sobred up and realised how utterly stupid I'd been I realised I have a drink problem...
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windowview
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10
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682
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Do you like lifesavers
(Preview)
Do you like Lifesavers? He asked me. Thanks, but no thanks, was my reply. Floyd, (not his real name) was leaving the hospital where he had been my roommate for a few days and was going home. Trouble is that he was leaving with four big tumors in his liver, a failing immune system, and many more problems. Fl...
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Bob K
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5
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747
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No matter how far down the scale we have gone
(Preview)
we will see how our experience can benefit others........ So I had a call from a buddy last night who has had to end a relationship he'd been in for two years......... Like me he was heartsore and in tears........ We shared the experience, we knew each other's hurt.... We were laughing with each other wi...
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bikerbill
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3
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1484
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God Calling ~ Never Judge
(Preview)
Never judge. The heart of man is so delicate, so complex, only its Maker can know it. Each heart is so different, actuated by different motives, controlled by different circumstances, influenced by different sufferings. How can one judge of another? Leave to Me the unraveling of the puzzles of l...
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gladlee
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2
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573
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~ Greetings
(Preview)
My name is vixen and I am an alcoholic. Today is my fourth day without drinking and my third day reading all I can from both these forums and The BB. I will be hitting some local meetings once I get over my cold. I am pretty much terrified and excited in equal amounts. I first attended an AA meeting 18 years ag...
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vixen
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10
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3515
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Your Dog and Your Recovery
(Preview)
Hey everyoneIm trying to get some help from my fellow recovering friends. Im looking for people in recovery who own a dog to complete a brief survey on how their dogs have influenced their recoveries. It only takes a few minutes and would REALLY appreciate your help.Also if you know anyone in recovery...
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krisjun
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2
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837
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back to work
(Preview)
so calm this morning. Realise that there may be stuff happening that I can do nothing about. It is what it is. Time I went back to work so will negotiate a phased return from 20th may.
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bikerbill
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5
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660
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Interesting little technique for anxiety.
(Preview)
I tried something new this evening. I tend to have problems with anxiety, envisioning the worst possible outcome for any situation, worrying about things to an unreasonable degree, etc. Well this evening I was really worried about an encounter at work today, where a manager expressed some disple...
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zzworldontheweb
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4
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555
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My Sister's Thanks.
(Preview)
My sister asked me on Friday night to be sure to pass on her thanks to all my buddies in the fellowship for being there for me in these tough times. She's grateful to you all for in her words, the support, fellowship and out and out unconditional love you have shown me. I am grateful too. Thanks.
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bikerbill
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1005
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new here
(Preview)
hello everyone, I am new here, I am powerless over alcohol. I do not drink every day but when I do drink I binge drink and it completely changes me. This happens at least once a month. I become a nasty person, swearing and being very selfish. For the last 3 days I have been drunk every night and can't rememb...
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windowview
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17
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2023
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the pain is easing
(Preview)
the pain and the grief of the loss of what I once had and what I thought I needed is easing. The pain and the grief has been overwhelming. From the greatest pain comes the greatest lesson. NowI understand when people say they're happy that I'm in pain because they see the learning happen before their eyes...
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bikerbill
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14
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741
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Anonymity is spiritual humility in action.
(Preview)
In modern recovery, anonymity is viewed as harking to a time when alcoholism was seen as a disgrace.By DAVID COLMANPublished: May 6, 2011IM David Colman, and Im an alcoholic. In the 15 years since I quit drinking, Ive neither spoken nor written those words, and now, in doing so, I have more or les...
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gezepe
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0
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8063
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Daily Reflections ~ A New Sense of Belonging & 24hrs a Day
(Preview)
Until we had talked with complete candor of our conflicts, and had listened to someone else do the same thing, we still didnt belong. TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p. 57 After four years in A.A. I was able to discover the freedom from the burden of buried emotions that had caused me so much pain. Wi...
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Sobrietyspell
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1
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523
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God Calling ~ Thrill of Protection
(Preview)
Turn out all thoughts of doubt and of trouble. Never tolerate them for one second. Bar the windows and doors of your souls against them as you would bar your home against a thief who would steal in to take your treasures. What greater treasures can you have than peace and rest and joy? And these are all...
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gladlee
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1
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438
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God Calling - Calm, not Speed
(Preview)
"All agitation is destructive of good. All calm is constructive of good, and at the same time destructive of evil. When man wants evil destroyed, so often he rushes to action. It is wrong. First be still and know that I am God. Then act only as I tell you. Never be afraid of any circumstances or...
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gladlee
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1
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533
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God Calling - Kill Self Now
(Preview)
"Self dethroned - that is the lesson, but in its place put love for Me, knowledge of Me. Cease trying to forgive those who fretted or wronged you. It is a mistake to think about it. Aim at killing the self now, in your daily life, and then you will find there is nothing that even remembers injury, be...
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gladlee
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4
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1781
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Need prayer for a friend
(Preview)
A friend and co-worker is going through some really hard times right now and could really use your prayers. There's a nasty divorce in her future due to a husband that went back out a few months ago. She's probably going to loose everything and feels she has no where to turn. I've experienced what the...
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Klaatu
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7
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1889
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Smell of alcohol...
(Preview)
This is day 3 for me of being sober! Pretty proud, lol. I'm going to my first AA meeting today and I am a bundle of different emotions. I'm sure its going to be amazing, just reading all the posts about it gets me really excited. Then I worry, then I cry, and so on. I just want to get there even if I stand up in the...
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alone72
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8
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4953
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Wallowing in self pity...
(Preview)
Hi everyone; I have been lurking around this site probably 6 months before getting sober and have been sober for 4 months next week. It's had been going really well and I did everything that was suggested; did 90 meetings in 90 days, got a sponser, working the steps, etc. But I guess my pink cloud is diss...
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dolly
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4928
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God Calling - Harmony Within
(Preview)
"You must not expect to live in a world where all is harmony, where others are in unbroken accord with you. It is your task to maintain your own heart-peace in adverse circumstances. Doubt always your power or wisdom to put things right; ask Me to right all as you leave it to Me. Only My wisdom can...
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gladlee
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1
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802
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Daily Reflections ~ A Resting Place & 24hrs a Day
(Preview)
All of A.A.s Twelve Steps ask us to go contrary to our natural desires . . . they all deflate our egos. When it comes to ego deflation, few Steps are harder to take than Five. But scarcely any Step is more necessary to longtime sobriety and peace of mind than this one. TWELVE STEPS AND TWELVE TRADITIONS, p....
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Sobrietyspell
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1
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688
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I became so hostile to AA - I drank again
(Preview)
I had 3 and a half years sobriety up until February; I have drunk alcohol 4 times since. My meetings did tail off a bit although I continued meeting with my sponsor and working the Steps, plus carried on with a duty at my home group. I've had a veritable slew of MH problems lately: Panic attacks, Depressio...
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puzzled
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9
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2062
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Feels like I'm in an emotional meltdown.
(Preview)
ll this stuff...........keep fucken crying. Feels like it'll never stop........people are so good to me, a smile, a word and bang I'm gone...........went round to see a guy yesterday, a guy I've allus been scared of in the fellowship.......a gentler man you'd never meet.......fishing, crying an...
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bikerbill
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12
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1459
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Heard a great one...
(Preview)
...the other day from someone I'd never met before. He was saying how he had a said to this girlfriend that she hadn't been complimenting him for staying sober. She said to him "well, you haven't bashed your head into a brick wall recently either. You want a medal." rotfl...gave me one big, w...
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SteveP
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5
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1229
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