We may have learned to be miserable, but we can choose to unlearn it. Though we can't control what happens to us, we can determine how we will interpret and react to what happens. We can moan about the things we don't like, using them as excuses for self-pity ("poor me"), or we can implement the Serenity Prayer, accepting what we can't change and changing what we can.
In the past, we often made ourselves miserable by over-doing things. Now, how often do we continue to invite misery by thinking we ought to be able to control other people? What part do unrealistic expectations play in the creation and continuation of our misery?
When we're hurting, we need to do something about it. A physical hurt may require a doctor; an emotional pain may call for a therapist or friend, and spiritual distress may indicate the need for more prayer and meditation, closer contact with a Higher Power. We can accept responsibility for our feelings, become willing to go to any lengths to get well, and choose not to be miserable.
Responding with misery is not on my list of options for today.
This kinda reminds me of the parable about the frog and the scorpian:
A scorpian wanted to get to the other side of the river so he told a frog I can't swim will you let me ride on your back to the other side of the river. The frog said if I let you on my back you'll sting me. The scorpian said I wouldn't do that because then we would both die. The frog thought it over and said ok get on my back, half way across the frog felt the scorpian sting him in the back. He asked the scorpian why did you do that now we'll both die. The scorpian replied I can't help it it's just my nature.
Every time I took a drink I knew the outcome would be disasterous but I couldn't help myself it was just my nature, it was all I knew. But with the help of AA and the people I met I was able to unlearn my distructive nature and live a constructive life.
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Tell me and I'll forget. Teach me and I'll remember. Involve me and I'll learn.
