Some day's I spend a lot of hours alone but that is fine today as I am never alone as I was in my drinking days. I pull out all my AA tools and like posting on here I do my AA bit. I understand today that my feelings can at times get the better of me and always remember that I need to share and talk with others as it was when I did not do this I drank on all my feeling ! Yes I am pleased that I feel today, and others care about how I feel too. Why because before I would numb them all with the drink,my feelings today remind me that life may not be easy and sometimes its my responsability to myself to help myself.
WOW..I am content in the fact that I am no longer negative and continue to strive on the possitive side of the fence. :} And continue to work on myself. Thanks all to the wonders of AA and the change in me :}
Thanks for posting Polly.. I am so new to sobriety that my own feelings are all over the map haha. But I know that feeling anything is a good thing, whether positive or negative at this point. I also know that I was an angry, suicidal mess often when drinking and anything I feel that's negative now pales in comparison
When I first came to AA I made a list of why I am an alcoholic.
1) I could not stop at one drink. 2) When I drink it sets off a craving. 3) when I drink I want to take my own life. 4) I have lost jobs through drink. 5) My children suffer when I drink....etc,etc. It got rather long ! I keep it in the front cover of my big book along with lost of other things too. Things to look at always.
I made a list of my bad personality traits too, that was even longer,but I turned the paper over and wrote all the good things about me.
I have a page from our share magazine like your grapevine I keep it as it was written by a friend of ours who watched his son die. I watched him suffer each week at our meetings. I hold such respect for this man as he did not pick up a drink ! Bless him. I get such strength from this share. And it was titled '' If nothing changes,nothing changes'' Today I know I have changes and needed to change myself. Because if not the old me will have me drink again.
Col your feeling will be all other the place. I was mad as a hatter,but I just '' did not pick up that first drink'' and things got better. :}
Keep full of gratitude for your sobriety each day and for all of AA in your life. All will come together with time. Time changes everything. Nothing is a rush. I have been watching you and you are doing wonders :} Keep at it and keep coming back, we need you very much in AA very much. :} You know have a purpose in your life..To stay sober and help another and Col by getting to the meetings you are helping so many. Very well done.
