i feel like im not coping at all well with the move, barely scraped through christmas and my dad whos been an addict for all my life and before i was born is dying. anyone who was raised in addict homes knows how difficult and complicated your relationships are with the "parents" lots of feelings about the old man have surfaced, remembering stuff id sooner not...he was a bad dad....(sounds like a country song) and the last move i did was indeed a huge disaster exactly because it was a panic move. god wasnt going fast enough to suit me so i took matters into my own hands and yikes did i ever pay for that. that was six years ago and i havent been the same since...so yeah, im pretty freaked out...i think i could use a miracle or something, i dunno. i do know i feel like a child and wish there was someone in my life i could just crawl onto their lap and cry my eyes out.
I'm sorry that you have so much to handle right now. But, it really will pass and then start to get better again. Moving is always so very stressful. Try to make some time for yourself each day. And, please know that you are not on your own.
Let us know how it is going for you, if you have the time.
Take care of yourself,
Carol
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Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss
Phil is right. Breathe in Breathe out. And I really do relate to how simple and obnoxious that may sound right now, but it does get better. I just made a move in August from a place I had basically lived for 30 years. I thought I was having a breakdown with the pressure, the changes, the adjustments. I reached out to lots of people. I didn't handle it with much grace at the time, however, I got through sober and clean. I didn't feel it was with much sanity at the time though. However, I got through. I too moved closer to my Mom and yes the relationships with parents can be precarious. There is alot of stuff that has transpired between us: some I have forgiven, some I still struggle with. I really can relate.
Reach out for help where ever you are. I used Addiction councilors, found a doctor (I have a chronic pain illness) and found other help that was free in the area. I found a psychologist and asked for help from my school mates. Things have really gotten easier for me. And I used meetings just about every day. It was very rare that I missed a day without a meeting. Sometimes two. Just hang in there. As rough as it all feels it will get easier. Your in my prayers. Take care.
Jo
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I granted myself the gift of sobriety and found my spirit.
I hate moving too. It really is about 2000 stress points on the 3000 points scale. Someone close dying is about 1000 too. yep. Sounds like HALT alright. Balance. Easy does it.
There are times where I go by the day,,, and there are times I have to work those Steps and the principles by the moment. I put myself in the present moment, and deal with just that moment. The moment passes faster than the day does. We don't have to take any tigers by the tail. When you breath in, one moment goes by,,, and when you breath out, another moment goes by.
I have a Higher Power that is the one I turn too, and a couple of times I felt like I was spiritually in His everlasting arms. My father was a very violent man, son of a violent alcoholic too. He was ill with cancer for almost a year, that we knew. We all went through a lot of changes. I was so stressed out by the time he actually died, with my family, that I couldn't go to his funeral. I'm still working through some of the issues that weren't resolved then.
Hey,, here's a cyber hug too ((((cindy))))
You're in my prayers,
love in recovery,
amanda
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do your best and God does the rest, a step at a time
Yeah, there is no way around it, moving just stinks. I went from a 3,000 sq. ft. farm house, to a 1,500 ft. home, then on to 1,200 when Ron retired and the kids were gone. All in about a three year period.
I found that I can only do so much in any given twenty four hour period, so I took the expectations off of myself and took it box by box, room by room. And made the salvation army very happy people, when cutting down each time on the square footage. You should try finding a home for a three hundred gallon milk tank, LOL.
But the great satisfaction was so worth it when I finally unpacked each room, and I knew that I wouldn't have to do this again unless I chose to. Take time out, sit outside, pray, and know that at this time next week it'll all be over, nothing more than a memory.
Moving out of BC? Keep posting, this really will end, love Chris
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"Never argue with an idiot... They'll drag you down to their level and beat you with experience..."
Hello Cindy. Thanks for sharing your thoughts, feelings and experiences over the past 6 years or so. That is a lot to deal with on both emotional, physical and on a level of AA growth and lifestyle. I've had to deal with exactly the same issues as yourself, but it was my mother who was dying and I felt as if I wanted to go ahead and die also, because I didn't know what I was going to do without her. She was my rock, my supporter (emotionally) and I could always turn to her when I didn't have other people to talk to who could understand. My mother knew me inside and out. She was also my foster mother in 2008, however, our bond was pretty strong. I was always able to speak with her openly and honestly since early childhood. So, I lost my mother, girlfriend, who died of breast cancer 2.5 years ago and those were the 2 closest women in my life. I was in that relationship for 10 years until her passing in September 2016. Thank goodness that I have the program of AA to go and sit amongst people who are going through similar situations and some can understand and appreciate sharing openly. I too wish I had a companion to turn to and just hug and hold tightly but that hasn't materialized yet. I also pray fervently and learned to meditate, which has brought nothing but positive changes in my life, both spiritually and mentally. I hope things have settled for you some over the past several years.
-- Edited by CraigAH on Thursday 28th of February 2019 04:22:51 PM
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The Boston Duke: "Flee from a Fool, Lest Ye become a Fool"
Hello Cindy. Thanks for sharing your thoughts, feelings and experiences over the past 6 years or so. That is a lot to deal with on both emotional, physical and on a level of AA growth and lifestyle. I've had to deal with exactly the same issues as yourself, but it was my mother who was dying and I felt as if I wanted to go ahead and die also, because I didn't know what I was going to do without her. She was my rock, my supporter (emotionally) and I could always turn to her when I didn't have other people to talk to who could understand. My mother knew me inside and out. She was also my foster mother in 2008, however, our bond was pretty strong. I was always able to speak with her openly and honestly since early childhood. So, I lost my mother, girlfriend, who died of breast cancer 2.5 years ago and those were the 2 closest women in my life. I was in that relationship for 10 years until her passing in September 2016. Thank goodness that I have the program of AA to go and sit amongst people who are going through similar situations and some can understand and appreciate sharing openly. I too wish I had a companion to turn to and just hug and hold tightly but that hasn't materialized yet. I also pray fervently and learned to meditate, which has brought nothing but positive changes in my life, both spiritually and mentally. I hope things have settled for you some over the past several years.