I am in a horrendous amount of physical pain today... just taking Tylenol and laying back... very very aggravated.
Pulled my back out major-league right under the left shoulder blade... how it happened: we had an old pool table in the garage that needed to be dis-assembled in order to be thrown out... we chopped it apart with an axe... I took 10 or 12 good swings at it for good measure... LOL it was kinda fun, getting out any old lingering aggression in a SAFE (?) way... Now I get the reprocussions of swinging an axe and hitting slate like a FOOL!!!
Anyway, had all kinds of home-improvement stuff planned, a meeting, et al... for today and could not do ONE stinking thing... not even a meeting. Couldn't drive safely... I am twisted up like a pretzel...
It's wierd, how I can be angry about one thing (like I was foolish doing the ax thing) and it will open up angers buried from other areas.I am a pretty mellow person these days, but even when I'm chilling at home, I am always doing SOMETHING. When I can't do ANYTHING, I guess I am stuck facing whatever I am trying to 'run from' in the myriad of daily activities. So I am going to do an inventory tonight. (Step 10). Seems I've got a few creepy resentments to address, and I didn't realize it til I was laid up today...
Well, I can remember thinking I was super woman back in the day, and no matter what I did I didn't notice it the next day; didn't notice anything the next day cuz the bottle of anesthesia was busy at work. So now, I too go outside, thinking I'm Herculesanna, and spend three days in misery.
So, now you get to slow down and look at stuff--maybe a good thing, eh? Right when we think we got it all worked out, God comes along and sits our butts down, ever notice that? I try to remember to take a whole day every few weeks, turn off the phone, stay away from the puter, and hide my books in the bedroom. Sit and listen to music, and clean out my mental file cabinet. See, I'm trying to outwit God, so that I don't hurt myself again.....think it'll work? LOL. I do hope, though, that you feel better tomorrow. Be kind to yourself.....Hug, Wren
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i found god in myself/and I loved her/i loved her fiercely--Ntozake Shange
Ya know Joni, I have done some strange things myself in my time,... like trying to drive a VW beetle up a ski slope with a couple of buddies, but I never tried shooting pool with an ax...glad I'm sober now, or I'm danged if I wouldn't give 'er a try, now that I've heard of it.
And Joni what a Dreamer I was, swimming and sunbathing, Right?
I had this day all Planned out and then wack goes the Back, although I knew what I was doing, sleeping in a Big chair that had no good back Support, and had to do what you did Joni, absolutely nothing. No meeting, and I really wanted that more than anything, oh, well at least we learn to just more or less take it, when there is no other choice.
Sorry you are in SO MUCH Pain, and did you say something about a 10th Step, oh yeah, there's a good thought.
Crossing my fingers that you will be out of that Pain tomorrow.
Sorry to read that you are in a lot of pain. I really do hope that today will be so much better for you. Try to look after yourself and take things easy.
I recently had a lump removed from my ribs. OMG, I was like a bear with a sore head for weeks! OK, I'm known for being like a bear with a sore head, but the bear had PMT this time, too!!! Not nice.
I do hope that you'll be feeling better soon.
Have a GREAT day, won't you?
Take care,
Carol
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Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. ~Dr. Seuss
