Good morning Phil,

Feels so good to be in today.

Yesterday, I was hit by one of the Biggest "Fear Balls" I have experienced in a long, long time.

Once, many years ago, a friend described his interpretation of managing his fears, that I borrowed and still use today.

He described them as being contained in a large bookcase type of structure, and the fears sat there as large "tar balls" dormant, but if he was not careful, and happened to touch one of these tar-balls, the size of say a bowling ball, the tar ball would ignite, and start burning our to control, and he would be on fire from that simple act of just going to close to his library were they sat in order, looking pretty non-treathening. But get too close and touch one, and look out, you will be on fire from the simple touching of one, and will have to work your a--- off. to get it under control, putting the fire out and getting this large mass of tar back on the shelve, where it does belong. He said, the solution for him was, Prayer, lots of air, breathing in a lot of air, and sunshine, if possible. and in a day or so, war was over and he was o.k.,
just a little singed, and with the great renewed knowledge that he needed to stay at arms length, with these, because they held the danger of with just one touch into the past, or the future, and he would be immobilized, and unable to get released until he
made a very hard and concerted effort, with Prayer, and Meditation, breathing and
talking about what had just happened.

Was thinking of this man yesterday, when I felt I had been hit by a Meteor of Fear,
panic attack, immobilization, call it what you want, but I could not function without his precription of how to be released.

And so I sit here, Wednesday, June 14th, feeling a little singed, but the raging fire of Fear, is NOT here, NOT comsuming me this morning, and what a powerful lesson I have learned. Certainly, not jupping with joy this morning. But I am here, back in my own body, breathing a great sigh of relief. Awe, the sun is out, and Prayer does work! Thank you God, for bringing me back into today, and the possibilities that this day holds.

It does facinate me that this man spoke of his experience with FEAR, about 15 years ago, in a quiet voice, and how his words from the past, 15 years is a long time to me, to simple recall and utilize something one of my brothers in Recovery stated, wish I could remember his name, or even his face, but I am so greatful for his words, that I thought were so wise.

Thanks for the Topic Fhil, I mean Phil, oops!

Hugs, and have a good day.

Toni