I don't know what's going on with me lately. Can't concentrate, can't focus. Trying to exercise, brain still won't come off overdrive. Talked to my sponsor about it. He told me it's a double edged sword dealing with an anxiety/depression disorder along with alcoholism. That's kind of hard to accept after feeling so good and stable for the last month or so. Can't fight it, just have to deal with it. The one thing about anxiety with me is that people don't really notice it. Some people that know me well enough know something is wrong.........
I've been listening to some really serene music to help deal with this. Heavy metal does it for me! Not really but it makes me feel really, really good! I feel like going out and running a few miles. Too bad my lungs wouldn't appreciate that due to the cigarettes. They'd be calling an ambulance for me for sure. LOL!
Yeah, I'm a nut. One thing though is I'm a sober nut. Lot's of meetings this week until my brain starts working a little better. That's the thing. When I get really screwed up thinking wise, if I go to a meeting every day, all that insanity just dissipates, like fog before the sun. Meetings, meetings and more meetings. I think I need to start telling my sponsor a little more than I am so that he knows what's up and allow him to help me a little more than I am.
Blah, blah, blah. Don't know if I'm making sense or what. Just need to get this stuff out of my head so I can function again. Think I'm gonna have to do some heavy duty praying tonight!
Signing off.........stardate 12-5673.....captain, captain, come in captain. Man Down!!!!!
Yeah I'm a nut.
Later folks.
May the peace and serenity that's left me find it's way to you!
Well I am sending back some peace of mind I have been feeling - right straight back to you in an SOS.
Pardon my French, but feeling a lot of anxiety SUCKS, and I agreee, we get a little reprieve from our own heads, at a meeting. Have not gone for that reason in a while, but that does not mean that I won't be there tomorrow for that same Reason.
Quiet, silent, Prayer, I never forget that first I have a Disease called Alcoholism, then even after some time in the Program, Anxiety can come up, and I cannot stop the thinking stuff, without Meditation and Prayer, have to do that, and it does quiet the mind, I have a great Meditation tape, that can make me feel like I have just taken a "downer", no drugs, just that tape, if you want me to send you the name, I will in Private Message, maybe a copy of it, I will give you the place you can order the CD.
Have used this tape even before my own Recovery began, it helped me walk right through a Bilateral Mastectomy, yep, without fear. Never forgot that and use it as a Meditation, no medication, when anxiety comes a calling. We all have that in us Justin, my take anyway.
So, I hope you just felt the ZAP of Peace I have sent with this Response, Deep, deep breath, let it come in, all the air, slow deep breathing, focus on just your breathing, it helps.
Hope to hear from you soon, thinking about you, and those meetings.
Thanks for the post, and the laugh. I am a rocker myself so I get the heavy metal stuff. This Christmas I was pissed off at my husband, so I put on my Ipod and listened to Guns and Roses really loud while I peeled vegetables. It made me feel tons better. I love music.
Ya, talk to your sponsor and spill everything - whatever that may be. That is what sponsors are there for.
Have a great night. I bet if you went for a run you would feel great! Try 1 minute run, 1 minute walk for 20 minutes. If that seems too much, start at 1 minute run, 2 minutes walk, fo 20 minutes. I'll bet it would help the anxiety and depression too. It sure does for me!
Dear soberdrunk, if you are nuts, then you are definately a part of our crowd. We are all here to do battle with the insanity!
"Cap'n...I dinna think we can stand much mor a this! We're at Warp 10 and 1/2 now! The Enterprise is aboot to blow her dilithium crystals, 'n' I'm aboot to blow ma loonch!"
