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Post Info TOPIC: "Stick with the winners" / staying away from toxic people


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"Stick with the winners" / staying away from toxic people

An oldtimer I respect in the program frequently says at meetings, "stick with the winners".  I agree with this.  That is, model your program after people who are happy, healthy and have good sobriety.  This isn't to say anyone in AA is a "loser" (except those who are only in meetings to prey on vulnerable people).

I also try to stay away from toxic people.  Am I wrong for doing this?  This means I'm taking their inventory.  But there are people who speak at meetings and just constantly complain about their lives. With little or no connection to recovery or the program.  I think some of these people just need someone to talk to, or human contact.  Am I wrong for feeling this way?  I'm not rude to anyone, but I think by sticking with the winners, I'm justified in staying away from toxic people?



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Before I was going to post a thread, I decided to read some here first, and happened upon yours. Yes, there are people who go to meetings who complain about their lives. I used to be one of them. Speaking for myself, my reason for this behaviour is that my life actually got worse after sobriety. I don't begrudge the majority of those whose lives improved, but I'm tired of most A.A. meetings sounding like prosperity gospel testimonials. I was also caught off guard when someone responded with "Thank you for your honesty", which made my damaged brain think "Am I in a room full of bullshitters?" You are not wrong for feeling the way you do. That is your instinct giving you the guidelines to make the program best for YOU, in my opinion. You are not wrong. Inside or outside the rooms, stay away from toxic people. They're not worth it.


Constantly praying this : "God, help me deal with my %@#+ed up self." Sober since 7-19-19

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