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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Alcoholics Anonymous -> Alcoholics Anonymous -> 25/F/Newbie/ready for change
Post Info TOPIC: 25/F/Newbie/ready for change
MifMars


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25/F/Newbie/ready for change
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Hello everyone,

My name is Agnes. I still have a bottle of gin which I indulged in today (after telling myself I wouldn't) after a night of throwing up from drinking since noon. 

I have gone to an outbound group setting at CAMH (here in Toronto) for a while (about a year) which did not help. I probably should have gone to either Smart Recovery meetings and/or AA/NA before this pandemic started.. I lack the necessary privacy to do video calls with people on online group meetings. 

I have overcome cocaine and weed addiction on my own (many will argue that isn't a problem, but myself among many others will agree it is...)... regardless, I am here to kick my final habit of alcohol. I have been drinking the past two years or so every other day or so at minimum.. I can definitely feel a lot of debilitation in terms of energy and brain functions. Which I find so disgruntling, but that's probably one of the reasons why I continue to do it. Because of my life circumstance at the moment. And having less cognitive functions probably helps numb myself to my current depressions. 

I never want to go on meds - for my anxiety, depression, past trauma, personality disorders, etc. 

I truly believe that there are natural remedies, actions we can take to become healthier, whole people..

I will be going back to school hopefully for the last time this year and I know that drinking is one of those things that is keeping my anxiety and depression up during whenever I went back to school... 

I just can't do this anymore. For a while now, I HAVE acknowledged my issues regarding alcohol.. I really REALLY need to stop. I've been lying to myself for far too long.

I need to stop. I have good people around me, but I isolate myself... it's a paradox - drinking, isolating to get better and not subject myself to others in the way I currently am.. and never not isolating myself really..

I need to stop. 

I am perhaps seeking out a penpal. But I'm glad to have found this board...

thank you to everyone who read this :) 



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Tanin


MIP Old Timer

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Welcome, MM. Thanks for sharing part of your story. We're mostly AA here. That seems to be the area you need some help with now.

Have you been able to find an face-to-face AA meeting? Would you be willing to attend one?


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First, deal with the things that might kill you.

 
dlowens777


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I can relate. Saying I will stop and not doing it. Sometimes a kickstart helps to get the ball rolling. I dont bring alcohol into my house. Then, I am learning to reach out but I have a hard time trusting others. Keep sharing.

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Danny O
FlyingSquirrel


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Think of it as turning your life around instead of just kicking a bad habit.



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Keep It Simple
CharlieMalone


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Which I find so disappointing, however that is presumably one reason why I keep on getting it done. On account of my life situation right now,for more info o through https://www.descriptiveessaytopics.com/ having less mental capacities most likely numbs myself to my present dejections,I'm figuring out how to connect however I struggle with confiding in others.

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GarySmith


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I have conquered cocaine and weed habit all alone many will contend that is not an issue, however myself among numerous others will concur it is in any case I am here to move beyond my last vice of liquor. I have been drinking the beyond two years or so every other day or so at least essayoutline.net If a certain task is doable at all, it is doable to all. The previous statement is true for any assignment or project you are working on. This means that if you are going to do something, you should do your best to give it your best.

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