Well not alot to say at the moment.. Not much improvement with me at the mo..
I fell out with my dad last night, we had both been drinking, he started it by saying something, i over reacted and said stuff back.. kinda both down to misunderstanding.. and we both over reacted.. i told him where to go and he blah'ed stuff back...
I wish i hadnt said what i did to him, but i dont think he heard all that i said, just that i was moaning.. i cant rem exactly what he said, i dont think i even heared it all myself..
Was abit worried today but we are cool, no probs.. i did appplogise for over reacting he said it was ok n that it happens.... I think he knew he was partly to blame, that he started it.. and i expect he doenst remember all of it ..
We laughed and jokes tonight as normal..
I gave my mum n dad both a little easter treat.. just some cashew nuts and some peanuts for my dad and some chocolate and crisps for my mum.. Sounds funny i know but i know what they like.. and they were both really pleased..
Duno wot im gona do meetin wise yet.. And im still on the booze. But im very pleased and very releved that me and dad are ok.. Actualy i even told my mum where to go last night, which was bang out of order cos it was not her fault in the slightest but she was ok when i apploggised.... She was drinking too ... i expect..
Last night .. well it just wasnt ME.. ya know!!.. .. I think alot of my reaction was pent up feelings because of their drinking etc.. PLUS my mixed up emotions cos of coming off drink coming back on.. stress of everything etc.... Chaneling emotions in the wrong directions!
Im not posting tonight expecting much response.. im not asking for advice or anything.. im just kinda sharing.. and i know people want me to keep them updated.. so here i am. if you do wana say something or can relate then i welcome anything you have to say.
Hmm im sure i was gona say something else but ill be buggerd if i can remember what it was.. Ill just edit or post again if i do remember..
I hope everyone is doing ok and that your days are going great..
Sounds like the chaos of active alcoholism. All of you drinking and irrational,,, and then understanding that you were all drinking and irrational. Life could be better,, if you were all in recovery. I'm glad you share with us, Rob.
That share is one of the ones that reminds us why we are glad we don't drink anymore.
love in recovery,
amanda
__________________
do your best and God does the rest, a step at a time
Yes, that sounds just like me and my husband when we were drinking.
Fighting about.......hmmmm..don't remember.
Feelings of guilt because I said things I didn't mean and some things that I know I don't remember
Waking up feeling like crap but then it all SEEMS ok because neither of us really remember what it ws about and we are kind of ok with it then....but not really....
These are the things that would eat at me for days, months, years.
Today, we don't fight, we talk. We both remember what we said. I don't have to feel guilty for saying something I don't quite remember. These are the gifts that sobriety has brought me.
The kind of thing that drove me to Sobriety. Thanks for reminding me. You are helping me not take a drink. I really love my family now. And my friends, especially the ones here. I'm glad that I don't hurt them like I used to.
And you will live better, -you have it in you to cease alcohol and all it's troubles. If a ________ like me can do this sobriety thing, and win at life again, then you can, too.
I'm believing in you. Give it another go, OK? We're with you...-paul
I sure hope this does not turn into one of those endless threads.
I was thinking about the "you" last week, and the "you" today,
For me, in my active drinking days, the most significant thing that always comes to my mind, is that I missed those years, I was not "present". And the most glaring thing that comes to mind this morning is that, last week, you were on the Computer, and you were here with us.
This morning, after reading this Post, it came into my thoughts that "there's Rob Posting on the Board", but it is kind of an illusionary thing, because he is really not there, not Present.
I hope, like previously Posted, that you will give this Board, and the Meetings another go.
Prayer that you will, but all the words of support, and caring will not make it happen. We do know that Recovery is only an "inside job", it's never been any other way.
The Disease that once again has you in it's Grip, is a very cunning, baffling, and powerful Disease. Just more words to you.............. .... .But NOT JUST WORDS in the Recovery Process.
We do care about you, and you know that, it is going to take You to care about You.
Hope the next time you want to "grab on" to Recovery, it will be in Face to Face Meetings, with real human contact, not just cyber contact, with faceless people. We cannot, drive to your house, sit down and talk to you, and because we cannot even pick up the phone, and give you a call, there is no REAL contact.
In my opinion, people to people contact has a much better chance, like the guy Allen who is probably still hoping you will give him a call, he is real .............. Cyberspace just turns into a whole bunch of words, Bla, Bla, Bla, Bla, Bla.
