If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others. That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self-seeking will slip away. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.
We have all read these, I have, hundreds of times, but for me they were there off in the distant future......kind of elusive.
Well this morning, I had a Dental Appointment that usually makes me very apprehensive. But I had been doing a lot work on many things, things that I fear, from Step 6 and Step 7. Character Defects that were based in fear. Did stuggle, but kept working hard at it.
And the only thing I can say it that when I went to the Dentist, I went in with a completely different attitude. Was happy to be there, and noticed that things that were usually on my mind with, "how am I going to get the money for this" well it just wasn't there.
So I am writing because this is the first time in my Recovery that I can say I am living in these Promises today, they do not feel elusive, not today.
Just wanted to share my joy with you all. Happy, Joyous and Free. Perfect description of my day, all day, and it feels amazing. It was a long time in coming, but worth every struggle and bump in the road.
I've found the longer I stick around in sobriety and continue to work the program, the more days I actually have like that! I remember one day a woman in the program called me, asking how on earth I dealt with the fear of financial insecurity. Now, this woman had money. I was a single mom of 4 young kids living on a fairly meager income. I thought it was strange that she was asking ME this! So I asked her why. She said that as long as she knew me, I've never complained about money (guess she doesn't know me THAT well...lol), but she knew it must be harder for me than it is for her. I think my first answer was that I guess I just got used to being broke. But after a few minutes of thought, I realized I had a faith that while I might not have everything I want, I've always had everything I needed.
The best part of the promises for me is where the self-seeking will slip away! It is SOOOOO good to get outside of my own tiny little mind and world and get out into the big world! This happened because of a few things. One, my sponsor (after getting sick of hearing about ME, ME, ME, I suspect) suggested that after I pray the Serenity Prayer in the morning, I might want to pray "God, take me out of the center of the universe". After the necessary indignation, I took his suggestion. After about a week or so of this, I was at a Big Book study and they happened to be going through the chapter about working with others. There was a statement that I am going to paraphrase. It had to do with not looking what you can get out of an event, but what you can bring to it. For some reason at that moment my eyes were opened (I call them my V-8 moments - you know, when you slap your forehead) and I realized it was also about life. Instead of being a sponge in life, sucking the good out of everyone and everything, I needed to start looking at what I could bring to life, to others. And once that happened, wow, what a freedom, what a release. In that 3rd step prayer, where we ask God to relieve us from the bondage of self so we can better do his will...first, what a truth, self is such bondage...and what a relief it is to be free from it.
Yes, the promises are wonderful and they really do come! Welcome to living in them! Ain't it da bomb?
I have been doing some dailey work with a woman, my age, that is going through some hard times, not financial, but personal stuggles, and have been giving freely of myself with time and just letting her know,I am available for her, and I am there for her 100%. Asking for guidance with my Higher Power when I am in contact with her, as opposed to the "me helping" and I definitely feel the "self seeking will dissapear" part of the Promises. Asking God to show me how to be the friend that I would want to have. And just getting out of the way, and staying out of the way with this. I find active listening a big part of this.
What new freedom from "Bondage of Self" this experience is bringing. Following your Sponsor's advice on this, (thanks), just looking for guidance from God, asking the question, what can I bring to this person's life, nothing more.
God works in mysterious ways, and I am so humbled by this experience, it encourages me to practice, practice, and.............practice.
So I am writing because this is the first time in my Recovery that I can say I am living in these Promises today, they do not feel elusive, not today.
u know, toni, i used to think promises were at worst BS, and at least, elusive / for others.....but as i do my family of origin pain work....as i thaw out old emotions....as i surrender and MEAN it to my Higher Power, i can accept my being a "human BEING" rather than just a "human DOING" the best she can to be perfect/right all the time....
CHOOSING to accept me and my limitations and with NO conditions of my self love/ acceptance, has "released me" its like "wow, i CAN be just a human--i CAN make mistakes and be ok---i CAN relax and trust something bigger than me" and i feel like this BIIIG rock is being lifted off me.......my days are becomming more calm...less "frantic".....like i can STOP and really look at something for what it is, not what i fear is gonna happen...................i have a ways to go, for sure, a long way, but guess what???i CAME a long way too..........love ya, rosie
Thanks for the reminder. When I first read the Promises, I felt so separated from them. Yet, the Program is full of promises. The old timers said to stick around for the "Miracle." I wondered if it could happen for me. Then one day like magic, I felt the release of the old stuff. I felt the renewal of my soul. I had no fear of my next move in the Program. Life became worth it...
We read the Promises before all meetings that I have attended. They are that important. We are reminded why we are here. We will find the new happiness. The Promises come true if we "work" for them. The work done builds this new freedom. I am so happy to hear of your experience. And today, just for today, the obsession to drink has been removed from me...
