I did a lot of thinking when I was drinking. Id think about how bad my life was and how things werent going to get any better. As I kept drinking, I thought about all the things I could do, and after a few more drinks, I thought about how good Id feel if I did them. After a while, I stopped thinking, couldnt remember where I was, and I entered oblivion. Finally, I had some peace from thinking until I came too. Then it all started again.
When I got sober, I started wearing my sponsor out with all the things I was thinking. They say early recovery is a roller coaster ride first up with new found hope and possibility, then down with regret and remorse. I took anyone who would listen to me along on the ride. After a while, my sponsor directed me into the Big Book, and showed me there was a chapter called, Into Action, not Into Thinking.
What I discovered about my thinking was that the majority of it was based on fear. My sponsor showed me that the way out of fear was through faith in a Higher Power, and the way to cultivate that was by taking action. Fake it until you make it, I heard over and over again. Do the things you would do if you had faith, and suddenly you will find that you do, was another. So I got into action, and my life changed. Even today, I remember to feel the fear, but to take the action anyway.
And every time I do, things get better, opportunities open up, and my Higher Power shows me the way.
