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New & checking things out
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When i created my name i used the name Maybe I Am .. I have been a member of alanon for a long time (many years) and one day i was talking to a friend in recovery who is yep a double 'winner.  she's got aa under her belt for many years and one day as we were talking she mentioned to me .. ''have you ever thought you might be a dry drunk?" yah i was Not happy lol to say the least. I said nothing when she said this though because in fact I 'heard her. Just maybe.. I Am.

When i think back to my earlier years drinking was a way of Life. it was Socially accepted (as was I) When i was drinking I 'found acceptance. More than when i was sober. I suppose i am not new in saying i was embarrassing at times as well but I ? didn't mind that too much. (I wasn't 'aware; I was drunk) .. I was also in denial. 

Lately I seem to 'wish i had more 'bar friends. I admit I am more 'likeable (less afraid) when i am drinking 'socially (my justification and excuse) I am not exactly a stop at one type of drinker. Although i don't drink as much as i used to. So i don't know. I am here looking into Me. and trying to figure it out.

I don't know if i belong but then i have always 'felt right at home with the drinkers. So Maybe I do. 

This is more or less my intro. Hoping to discover the truth in me. thanks for letting me share here to search.



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MIP Old Timer

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Welcome to the forum, MIA. We are glad to have you join us in sharing our experience, strength and hope. Self-reflection is an important process to engage in, to achieve spiritual growth. Honesty is the crucial ingredient in the process. I found that be very difficult, but eventually learned how to strive for it. Got enough to save my life from the depredations of being an alcoholic.

Maybe UR one. And maybe UR not.

I am. Found out years ago...

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MIP Old Timer

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Welcome to MIP 'MaybeIam', ... glad you're here with us ...

I think a 'dry drunk' is one who quit drink'n but hasn't changed anything about themselves to be a better person ... In AA we learn who we are and what makes us tick ... we can remove the alcohol, but if we do not change our way of think'n, then we turn into 'ticking time bombs' ready to 'go off' at anytime ... A spiritual connection is really the only true way to make this change ... no matter who your 'Higher Power' is ...

Great subject ... looking forward to see more posts from you ...


Love you and God Bless,
Pappy



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I can relate. My best friend was an alcoholic, and so were half my family.  The people I hung out with were either active alcoholics or what they called heavy hitters. My first wife's 'father' was a blackout drinker and so was my Aunt Esther. I guess alcoholism had roots in just about everything. It became a routine just like brushing your teeth or combing your hair. And Weekends quickly became our proving ground. I know, it sounds a bit loony even for a die-hard alcoholic like myself, but when it comes to alcoholism nothing is short of crazy.

It has been a long time since I hung out with my dear 'Old Grand Dad', but the memories still linger on. I wish we had all the answers, but it an imperfect world no one ever does. The best we can hope for is some sort of resolution, whether it's through spiritual means or active fellowships. It has been a game changer for 16+ years now and counting. I hope it can be for you as well. Onward. 



-- Edited by Mr_David on Thursday 26th of October 2017 10:19:28 PM

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Mr.David


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Thanks for these responses .. been thinking of posting awhile but just kept passin by .. a long time i was with an addict more than alcoholic but i judged him along time before i became willing to look at 'me .. realising i have my own 'many areas to work through .. been reading alot of the quotes around the boards and they are pretty insightful .. but i have to say i'm bothered (uncomfortable) even opening this door .. i think at the end of the day deep down i might already know the truth to some of my wonder .. think i'll stick around awhile and read to start .. maybe reply in small doses .. admit it's not easy having to face me .. when i met this other guy (partner of many years) .. i used to think i feel so comfortable around him like i've known him my whole life .. i remember a sponsor in the other program telling me you have .. you've known the behaviors ... for a long time then i only saw my family . i think today i know the behaviors (if i'm honest) because some (if not all) of them are in me too .. or used to be .. one of the two .. relate to each of you .. was pretty normal in my own past too ..

i appreciate the warm welcome in here and the quick responses ..


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Welcome to MIP!

Thanks for sharing,stick around,hope top hear more from you....smile



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Feelings, chatting, smoking, message boards are all the fellowship of aa.

The 12 steps are the program. The fellowship might keep you sober and if you are lucky you won't die. The program is the reason I am alive and happy.



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Only I could decide if I was or wasnât an alcoholic. I can tell you that my sister, who drinks normal and responsibly, has never once wondered or questioned whether or not she was an alcoholic (because she is t). I kept an open mind, looked for the similarities between the people in the rooms and myself. I identified with most of them and confirmed that I to have the disease of alcoholism. I alone did not have the needed power to relieve myselif of itâs grip but found the needed power in the steps. Einstein said âyou cannot solve a problem with the same mind that created the problemâ...how true that statement was for me.

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Bill


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Welcome to MIP   H'n now   ... glad to see you join us ...


Pappy



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MIP Old Timer

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Welcome to,the forum, Herennow. Glad to make your acquaintance....

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I needed lots of time and help in meetings and counseling in order to accept that I was alcoholic and I was a behavioral health counselor in a large rehab at the time before I took the assessment.  I had not drank for 9 years and was a member of the Al-Anon Family Groups for those whose lives had been affected by someone else's drinking.  My former wife at that time was an alcoholic/addict and I guess I drew a lot of fulfillment from my cliental.  My HP saw the opportunity to ask me why I had not taken the assessment just after rating one and sending a newbie off to inpatient care; after I had him take his.  

I did mine anonymously as I felt that necessary and after the head nurse in the adult section gave me her feedback on mine I knew what I was to do and so the next Friday I was at the Alano club AA meeting where they stopped the meeting until I addressed my disease.  They held the meeting in silence so that I could hear my own voice.  God is in our program and every meeting.

The nurse who reviewed my assessment told me that the person whose assessment it was would be dead if they ever drank again.  That guy hasn't and can still participate in the recoveries of others.   Thanks for letting me share.   (((hugs))) wink



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thanks everyone for these replies .. ((( thanks jerry  )))



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59 / Male / Business Owner / Seattle

Two days.

Not sure what to say here but....it's beyond time.

Been drinking most of my adult life....beer and wine until 30'ish, then whiskey with 7 Up until I was 40.....one day, tried Crown without 7 Up and that's been my beverage of choice since.

Typical day (7 days a week): 3 - 4 double Crown with rocks.

I never once had a hang over (woke up drunk plenty).

Always been the type that, once I make a decision....that's it for that item.

No drinks since Friday night (2 days thus far)...just got off the phone 3 hours ago with a great pal, sober for 25 years I think....I told him "I'm done", he said "why Jon?", I said "because it's sucking the life out of me and it seems to me, everyone that drinks (like I do), is going nowhere....and it dawned on me Friday night (finally), that I'm just treading water, when I could be hitting the lights".

My buddy (Tom) said he'd been waiting for this call for 20 years and that "I had a feeling when you were ready, you'd call".

(He never once in the 25 or more years we've known each other, ever beat me over the head with "it").

Anyway....I may be a lurker here for a while....I'll come in and post my status every once in a while, but for now, thank you for having this forum.  I downloaded the Big Book a little while ago, read some....will read the rest over the next few nights (so far....fascinating!!! Had I read the thing even 2 weeks ago, I would have set it down in 45 seconds).

For now, I just want to get through the next 7 - 10 days, and I'm a bit of a solitary type so, I'll look in to AA once I get over the hump.

Jon



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Jon


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Welcome aboard, JonJ. Sounds like you've had enough of the merry-go-round.

Recovery is a terrific path to be on. Best wishes.

If you have any questions, feel free to bring them up here...



-- Edited by Tanin on Sunday 19th of November 2017 08:01:19 PM

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MIP Old Timer

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If you can muster up the courage Jon, an AA meeting would possibly do wonders for you ... a group of people going through, or have been through what you're going through right now ... they can help ease the way for you if you're up for it ...

Pappy



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I appreciate your share Jon .. was reminded the reading in the 'perfect timing .. reminded that when i first began alanon years back it was the same way .. an entire year i went with hearing nothing and setting down the book .. honestly ? it was as interesting as picking up a phone book or dictionary .. then suddenly the next year i could 'not get 'enough .. so in reading your reply was thinking of the AA book .. which 'never used to appeal to me .. it wasn't my time .. i was more into alanon but see lately the time must be approaching because 'it calls to me more and more lately .. glad you're here ..

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