Today's Gift - Oct

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

Today's Gift - Oct

Vermont-Beth · Newbie

Thanks, this helped a lot. Working my way out of a pity party, crawling toward the exit.

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

Welcome to MIP VB, ... We're all here to help each other ... glad this helped ...

God Bess,
Pappy

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

THE EVOLVING RELATIONSHIP

.... open up to hope and new possibilities...

Some mornings we may awaken filled with thoughts of what is wrong in our lives. Perhaps we obsess about our failures or the limits of our relationships. If we let ourselves sink into self-loathing, we build a wall that separates us from those things that nurture us and give us joy.

When we awaken to the living and growing world, our spirits lift and open up to hope and new possibilities. Walking along an old sidewalk or across an abandoned parking lot, we see cracks in the concrete or asphalt and new green growth pushing through. Where there is enough soil to hold a seed, there is the possibility of a tree someday. The universe seizes opportunities for renewal that slip through the slightest opening. There is always hope for renewal in our relationships when we are willing to plant the seeds and feed them so they can grow.

Name an experience that has shown you the seeds for new growth.

Tanin · MIP Old Timer

Welcome to the forum Beth. Hope you get through it OK.

Let us know...

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

It is impossible that anything should be produced if there were nothing existing before.
--Aristotle

Everything comes from something. All the organic compounds in our world come from four elements: carbon, hydrogen, oxygen, and nitrogen. From these simple ingredients have developed the marvelous chains of self-replicating proteins that fill the planet with jungles, gardens, farms, the swarming life of the sea, and four billion people.

Each of us contains all human possibilities within ourselves. Nothing that we do comes from nowhere; we all have the capacity for great goodness as well as great selfishness and blindness. The choice, at every moment, is ours. What will we use out of our formidable repertoire of responses?

Most of us have a pattern of response that we are comfortable with. Our habitual behavior saves us from the discomfort of always having to make a choice. But in exchange for comfort, we give up a little bit of our spontaneity. Every once in a while, it's good for us to become aware of what our habits are, and what determines our usual behavior.

Today I'll take myself off automatic pilot and navigate the whole course in person.

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

I like not only to be loved, but also to be told that I am loved . . . the realm of silence is large enough beyond the grave.
--George Eliot

We've all heard many times that we must love ourselves if we're ever to love another. Too often we mistakenly think that means we shouldn't need to hear someone's affirmation of love. That assumption is wrong. Praise from others builds our self-confidence, keeps us on track, aware of how we're presenting ourselves moment by moment.

But many of us didn't develop healthy egos in our youth because we didn't get feedback that affirmed us. We didn't hear we were loved. As adults, we're scrambling to feel confident, to feel sure of our direction and our value to society. And we're hoping to hear we're loved. We can be certain someone close will be helped by hearing our words of love.

There's no time like the present for sharing love.

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

Children do not know how their parents love them, and they never will till the grave closes over those parents, or till they have children of their own.
--Edmund Vance Cooks

As adults, we may feel we were cheated out of a "normal" childhood because of our parents' emotional, physical, or spiritual failings. We may think they should never be forgiven for their actions or inactions when we were young.

Yet imagine what our lives would be like today if we did not forgive. We would be bitter, stomping angrily through life with a clipboard in hand, ready to write down the name of the next person who crosses us. It's time to throw away the clipboard and the names on it - including the names of our parents.

The program teaches us to love those who come into our lives, even if we don't like them. It teaches us forgiveness through our Higher Power. We do not have to like our parents, but we can love them. By the same token, we need to realize our parents love us in their special way. They aren't perfect - and neither are we.

Help me remember my parents did the best they could with what they had. That's all anyone can really do.

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

The Four "A's"

Dear God, I have learned to live within my limitations and to live up to my capacities as I grow in recovery. As I try to practice the principles of our Program, I will accept the truth that I seek progress and not spiritual perfection. I pray to admit my limitations and remind myself I am only human. I have quit trying to play God.

When I take my inventory and remember the Four "A's" - Acceptance, Awareness, Action, and Attitude I continue learning to live within my limitations and to live up to my capabilities.

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

Flowers, Not Weeds

When addiction took hold of my son, it grew and spread like a thick, thorny vine, twisting and turning and choking him tight. But it didn't stop there. It kept right on creeping. It crept and crawled its way into my mind, making me sick too. In an Alice in Wonderland kind of way, my sickness is a distorted reflection of his sickness. How sick is that?

I faded, I weakened. I lost my sense of self. Blamed, judged, and berated, I became consumed by the guilt and negative thoughts heaped on me by both myself and others. My common sense and rational thought became warped.

The truth is, negative thoughts and negative people can't take root in my life if I don't let them. My life is like a garden-what grows here is in my control. Unwelcome seeds may drift in on the wind, and renegade runners may sneak in under the fence, but I can pull out the things I don't want in order to make room for the flowers.

Stop watering the weeds in your life and start watering the flowers.
Anonymous

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

Listening and Sharing

"I've found that many of my painful experiences with others are the result of past memories," stated a friend.

"Often I'm not reacting so much to what is going on between me and another person right at the time; I'm responding to some previous wound or hurt from my past that hasn't quite healed. Let me give you an example of what I mean.

"Just the other day, a friend of mine said she needed some time to herself and didn't want to see me for a week. Well, rather than accept her statement, I was hurt. I immediately thought of a past friendship I had helped destroy by being too possessive and demanding. I thought I was making the same mistake again and that my present girl friend was trying to get rid of me, too. I felt so defeated I couldn't respond. I just sat there stunned and tried not to cry.

"My friend was uncomfortable with my change in attitude, but since I wasn't able to communicate what I was feeling, she left feeling at loose ends, too."

"Thank goodness I had enough sense to call her and share my unsettling feelings a day or two after that experience. I found my friend wasn't rejecting me at all. She really did need some time to herself."

Today I will not allow past, painful memories to cripple my current relationships. When I am hurt or confused, I will talk out my feelings and reactions before I make harsh criticisms or assume another's motives.

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

I would be honest, for there are those who trust me.
--Howard Arnold Walter

Some of those around us seem to see only the good in us. They trust and respect us, even when we ourselves may not feel we deserve it.

A young girl once talked about her grandfather. She said, "He was the only person in my life who saw the good in me." She mentioned that she sought to please her grandfather and not disappoint the trust which he placed in her. He brought out the best in her because of the way that he looked at her. Each of us can be like this grandfather by focusing on the good in other people. We can use our spiritual eyes to see love, honesty, trustworthiness, and unselfishness in the heart of another. As we look for the good, we are doing our part to help create it.

Do I see the good in those around me right now?

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

I cannot give you the formula for success, but I can give you the formula for failure - try to please everybody.
--Herbert Bayard Swope

Principles are rules or codes of conduct we set for ourselves; like being honest, striving to be on time, and taking responsibility for bills and expenses. It is up to us to abide by these principles.

When we compromise a principle for someone else's benefit, we jeopardize the strength of that principle and its importance to us. If we want to be honest, then lying to cover up another's actions compromises that principle. If we want to be on time and someone makes demands that cause us to arrive late, we have compromised ourselves and let someone else's desire dominate.

We need to set certain standards for ourselves and abide by them, even if another person will not be pleased. To let principles trump over the demands and desires of another is a victory for our inner peace. If we are true to ourselves, we will learn we can count on ourselves no matter what.

Is anyone making demands upon my principles? Help me be true to myself and not make compromises I will regret.

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

Becoming forgiving

The lack of a forgiving spirit hurts our spiritual progress. Being unforgiving causes resentment, which is always a danger to our new way of life.

We have learned that if we forgive, we will be forgiven; but if we do not forgive, we will not be forgiven. So it seems we are just hurting ourselves by not forgiving others.

Am I forgiving?

Higher Power, help me forgive each person I need to forgive today.

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

Give to the world the best you have and the best will come back to you.
--Madeline Bridges

Sometimes we feel lazy or bored, and then we don't do our best work. Perhaps we are daydreaming instead of listening closely to what a friend is trying to tell us. When we are not really paying attention to our activities or the people around us, we'll likely miss out on something important because we do receive in equal measure what we give. And this truth works in every aspect of our lives.

When we treat our friends, our families, even people we don't know well with kindness, we'll experience kindness in return. Our own actions and attitudes toward others are what we can expect from others as well.

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

I had an easy life growing up. I was not serious, and I'm trying to make up for it now.
-- Tom Harding

How we define an easy life may differ because everything is relative. Some of us were raised in prosperous homes, which might have meant we weren't required to seek work or do chores around the house. But that kind of privilege didn't guarantee an easy life. Wealth doesn't eliminate the possibility for abuse of many forms.

To some, the easy life simply means there was little stress, few problems to contend with. Parents were supportive; school work came easy; friends really cared about us. Maybe we feel lucky if that's how our lives evolved, or maybe we are like Tom and feel now that we need to make up for our lives of privilege. Let's seek the counsel of others if that's the case. It's okay to have had the easy route. That doesn't mean we have to pay for it now.

The important element is that we spend the present however we really want to. If we want to be more serious, that's acceptable. If we want to be lazy, that's okay too. If we want to have a positive impact on someone else's life, perhaps someone who had a harder life than we experienced, that's admirable, but not necessary. No one is grading us.

Today I'm free. The past isn't of concern unless I make it so.

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

Where Love and Addiction Meet

The first time my child reached his dimpled little hand out for mine, I was there. And I've tried to be there every time he's reached out to me-and even when he hasn't-ever since. Until, that is, my child became an addict. Addiction has made such a mess of things that I'm no longer sure if I should be within range when he reaches out (or even when he doesn't).

I don't know if my help is hurting this child of mine. I don't know if I should stay silent or speak up. I'm not sure how to love without doing the things that seem loving, or where to put the dreams and conversations and hugs that have gone unused and are piling up. I don't know how to fill my empty arms, or where to put my love for this child who says he hates me. My heart doesn't understand this place where love and addiction meet-it's all confused about what it means to be my son's mom.

I cannot be there for my child in the way life intended, but my love will always be there whenever he reaches out-and even when he doesn't.

I mean, it is the most impossible love . . . it's absolutely fine for me to teach you how to walk and talk, and then you grow up and you head off in the wrong direction toward a cliff. And I'm supposed to just stand there and wave.
Because I Said So

You are reading from the book:

Tending Dandelions by Sandra Swenson

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

It is only with the heart that one can see rightly....
--Antoine de Saint Exupery

If we look at the world through suspicious or angry eyes, we'll find a world that mirrors our expectations -- a world where tension will mount, arguments will abound, strife will be present where none need be. However, our experiences in some manner bless us, and we'll recognize that if we look upon them with gratitude. Everything in our path is meant for our good and we'll see the good when our hearts act as the eyes for our minds.

When we see with our hearts, our responses to the turmoil around us, the fighting children, the traffic snarls, the angry lovers, will be soft acceptance. When our hearts guide the action we can accept those things we cannot change, and change those we can. And the heart, as the seat of all wisdom, will always know the difference.

You are reading from the book:

Worthy of Love by Karen Casey

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

Self-Help or Mutual Aid?
Assisting Others

The Twelve Step movement is sometimes called a self-help program. This falls short of describing what it really is. Mutual aid might be a better term.

Self-help implies that an individual will help himself or herself. Mutual aid is a much different sort of thing. With mutual aid, we do help ourselves, but we have found that the best way to do this is by helping each other. Self-help says, "I can do it," whereas mutual aid says, "We can do it."

We should not dismiss the idea of self-help or of doing one's best in achieving self-improvement. We must know, however, that we need the assistance and loving help of others for our highest growth. There are times when we will feel helpless and alone. That's when mutual aid will carry the day for us and perhaps even save our lives.

I'll realize today that I have a bond with others, and that I can achieve my highest good only in mutual service with them.

You are reading from the book:

Walk in Dry Places by Mel B.

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

Reflection for the Day

"When a man has reached a condition in which he believes that a thing must happen when he does not wish it, and that what he wishes to happen never will be, this is really the state called desperation," wrote Arthur Schopenhauer.The very real pain of emotional difficulties is sometimes very hard to take while we're trying to maintain sobriety. Yet we learn, in time, that overcoming such problems is the real test of the Program's way of living. Do I believe that adversity gives me more opportunity to grow than does comfort or success?

Today I Pray

May I believe firmly that God, in God's infinite wisdom, does not send me those occasional moments of emotional stress in order to tease my sobriety, but to challenge me to grow in my control and my conviction. May I learn not to be afraid of emotional summits and canyons for the Program has outfitted me for all kinds of terrain.

Today I will remember strength through adversity.

You are reading from the book:

A Day at a Time (Softcover) by Anonymous

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

The feeling of belonging is a gift.

The feeling of belonging - knowing that we have a place - is one of the most important gifts that two partners can give to each other. When we agree to commit ourselves to a partnership, we give each other the key to our daily lives. We allow our mate to be there with us in a way we would not let others. That means that we can expect to have a place that does not have to be renegotiated every day. This feeling of belonging is a gift, but it must be received. In essence, we say to our partner, "I take my place here in your life because we have our relationship. I will relax. I don't stand at the door and knock. We have already told each other that we are included in each other's lives."

This sense of belonging stands in sharp contrast to those feelings of isolation and alienation that we can feel in so many ways. It does not mean that one partner owns the other or that no boundary or separateness exists. But the joy of connection frees people in relationships to fulfill themselves and carry on their lives while in the close comfort of one they love.

Tell your partner how you know you have a place in her or his life.

You are reading from the book:

The More We Find In Each Other by Merle Fossum and Mavis Fossum

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

It's easy to look at all the tasks and unsolved problems and feel so pressured that we get paralyzed and don't get anything done. It takes discipline to gather in our scattered forces and focus on one thing, one day, one step, and sometimes one hour even when taking only that one step can seem so trivial in the face of all that looms.

Inventory Focus:
Are you creating unnecessary fear and drama by taking on more than you handle? Are you willing to trade in the I'm-out-of-control-and-overwhelmed feeling for a sense of manageability? Do you have any history with deliberately living life one day or one step at a time? How did that work?

Plans, goals, and dreams are good, but the only way to get there is one day at a time.

You are reading from the book:

52 Weeks of Conscious Contact by Melody Beattie

Mr_David · MIP Old Timer

Awesome advice. Thanks, again.

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

Self-Seeking Slips Away

Today, God, help me remember that not everything is about me.

When I was using, thinking of myself was my whole existence. With abstinence, I began to practice understanding, humility, gratitude, caring, and sharing with others.

By having faith in our Program's recovery Steps and their other-centeredness focus, I am reminded that I am a person who truly needs other people.

You are reading from the book:

The 12 Step Prayer Book Volume 2 by Bill P. and Lisa D.

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

This Mouse must give up one of the Mouse ways of seeing things in order that he may grow.
--Hyemeyohsts Storm

There is an American Indian tale of a mouse who heard a roaring in his ears and set out to discover what it was. He encountered many animals who helped him on his way. Finally, the mouse had a chance to offer help to another. He gave away his eyes to help two other animals.

Without his sight, defenseless, he waited for the end. Soon he heard the sound eagles make when they dive for their prey. The next thing the mouse knew, he was flying. He could see all the splendor around him. Then he heard a voice say, "You have a new name. You are Eagle."

Like the mouse, we also feel something inside us we'd like to explore. That secret, like all others, has its answer hidden deep within us, yet right under our very nose. Often, we merely have to give up our eyes and see in a different way. When we do this, we are rewarded with a new kind of vision, one that lets us discover our true potential.

You are reading from the book:

Today's Gift by Anonymous

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

When one knows Thee, then alien there is none, then no door is shut. Oh, grant me my prayer that I may never lose the touch of the one in the play of many.
--Rabindranath Tagore

When we make a person-to-person telephone call, we want to be connected with one particular person. If that person is not in, we make no connection.

Are we taking time to make person-to-person connections? Or are we seeking situations with groups of people so we don't have to be open and honest with just one person? We all need at least one person with whom to share confidences, laughter, tears, hugs, plans, and dreams. If we don't have this special person, we are like one bird in a nest: safe and warm, but isolated and alone.

We can attend a meeting every night and still be isolated and alone. Being around people doesn't necessarily mean we're making connections with them. To truly share ourselves, we need to open the doors to our lives and let at least one person in. Just one person can make the difference between isolation and connection.

I need to connect with a special friend. How can I open the door to this one person?

You are reading from the book:

Night Light by Amy E. Dean

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

I'm Not Ashamed

My child dreamed of becoming a firefighter, a fisherman, and a marine biologist when he grew up. Becoming an addict was not on his list. I know the child who dreamed those dreams and he is a child to be proud of. Tender and thoughtful and smart, he should be living his dreams. But my child isn't here-an addict has taken his place. Someone who looks like my child is hooked to the strings of an evil puppeteer and living a tortured life. Instead of fighting fires, my child is fighting demons. Instead of tying flies, he's flying high. Instead of reaching for the stars, he's reaching for a bottle. A life full of promise lost to a jug full of lies. Addiction took my child's dreams, chewed them up, and spat out a nightmare.

No, my child didn't dream of becoming an addict, and it certainly wasn't what I dreamed for him either. But I'm not ashamed my child is an addict. I'm sad he's an addict. By shining the light on addiction, I might just get him back.

Shame is a soul-eating emotion.
Carl Jung

You are reading from the book:

Tending Dandelions by Sandra Swenson

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

True expressions of love are said to come from a source which lies beneath words and thoughts.
--W. Timothy Gallwey

Remember when we just knew Grandmother loved us, even if she didn't say anything? Her smile or hug said it all. We can always feel another's love - when it's real.

Likewise, the words of love, when they come from a heart that's cold, don't ring true to our ears. We hear them, but our hearts can't feel them. So the gulf between us widens and we remain two lonely people.

Feeling true love for another may be foreign to us, and we may have to practice thinking loving thoughts and saying loving words to become familiar with the feelings love engenders. But real love lies deep within our center and only awaits our knowledge of it.

You are reading from the book:

Worthy of Love by Karen Casey

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

Reflection for the Day

We must never be blinded by the futile philosophy that we are just the hapless victims of our inheritance, of our life experience, and of our surroundings - that these are the sole forces that make our decisions for us. This is not the road to freedom. We have to believe that we can really choose. As addictive persons, we lost our ability to choose whether we would pursue our addictions. Yet we finally did make choices that brought about our recovery. Do I believe that in "becoming willing," I have made the best of all choices?

Today I Pray

May I shed the idea that I am the world's victim, an unfortunate creature caught in a web of circumstance, inferring that others ought to "make it up to me" because I have been given a bad deal on this earth. We are always given choices. May God help me to choose wisely.

Today I Will Remember

God is not a puppeteer.

You are reading from the book:

A Day at a Time (Softcover) by Anonymous

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

Aging is not easy, but what's our alternative?
- Helen Casey

The kind of attitude we developed over our lives determined how we saw every detail of each experience. Even now our attitude holds us hostage. The misunderstanding that many of us have is that we think we can't really change how we see our world. Nothing is further from the truth. We can make a large or small shift in our perceptions instantly. The outcome is that everything about our lives changes from that moment forward. Thus, how we perceive the aging process is controlled by our willingness to look at it again.

Helen has aged gracefully. At 86, she still finds time for making new friends, three bridge clubs a week, daily mass and frequent communication with her children and relatives. She carries a positive, hopeful attitude with her wherever she goes, which inspires others, young and old.

It wouldn't appear that aging has been hard on Helen. But the truth of the matter is that she has suffered many losses. What she has managed to hold onto, though, is her faith in God and her willingness to see every "glass as half full."

How lucky we are that we can "tinker" with our attitude for as long as we're alive, and if we aren't completely happy, we have work to do. As Helen says, there is no alternative to aging, except death. What happens now is up to us.

I am only as old as I decide to feel today.

You are reading from the book:

Keepers of the Wisdom by Karen Casey

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

You have to live on this 24 hours of daily time. Out of it you have to spin health, pleasure, money, content, respect, and the evolution of your mortal soul. Its right use, its most effective use, is a matter of highest urgency.
--Arnold Bennett

We have 24 hours to accomplish all we need tor mental, physical, and spiritual growth. Just because morning meditations have been read, the work or school day is completed, and the day is waning doesn't mean growth time is over.

The first 12 hours of a day are usually spent housecleaning, raising children, working, running errands, and so on. By the time the activities have ended, we're ready for the second 12 hours: contemplation, relaxation, communication with family and friends, socializing, eating dinner, going to a meeting, sleeping.

Our most effective use of each day means believing we can accomplish something. There is time to be grateful for each day's experiences. There is time to build relationships with ourselves and others. Each day there is time to grow.

You are reading from the book:

Night Light by Amy E. Dean

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

Developing ourselves

We must realize in our hearts that we are becoming better people. We do this by using our highest standards and making our best efforts. We do this, in part, by turning our lives over to God, who will guide us if we sincerely ask.

As we develop, we find we're offering much more to life than just avoiding mood-altering drugs. We are coming to love others and to help them by thinking, feeling, and behaving maturely in all situations.

Am I developing into a better person?

Higher Power, help me realize that my new life is not just about changing my past but about developing my future as well.

You are reading from the book:

Day by Day - Second Edition by Anonymous

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

Being able to be wrong

We had to compete with everyone, sometimes subtly, sometimes less subtly. We always had to be right, to be wrong seemed unbearable. We could never seem to bring ourselves to say simply, "I was wrong." We were afraid of what would happen to us if we did. Our egos were very fragile; we were never as strong as we had led ourselves to believe.

We came to discover, however, that real strength comes from being able to be wrong and from being willing to change our ways of thinking and living.

Can I face being wrong and learn from it?

Higher Power, help me realize each day that it is okay to be wrong, that real communication with other people depends on my being willing to see other points of view, and that being teachable is a divine quality.

You are reading from the book:

Day by Day - Second Edition by Anonymous

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

Willing to Make Amends

The Eighth Step is talking about a change of heart, a healing change.

This attitude can begin a great chain of repair and healing in our relationships with others and ourselves. It means we become willing to let go of our hard heartedness - one of the greatest blocks to our ability to give and receive love.

In the Eighth Step, we make a list of all people we have harmed, and we allow ourselves to experience a healing attitude toward them. It is an attitude of love.

We do not, in this Step, dash madly about and begin yelling, "Sorry!" We make our list, not to feel guilty, but to facilitate healing. Before we actually make amends or begin to consider appropriate amends, we allow ourselves to change our attitude. That is where healing begins - within us.

It can change the energy. It can change the dynamics. It can begin the process, before we ever open our mouths and say sorry.

It opens the door to love. It opens the door to the energy of love and healing. It enables us to release negative feelings and energy, and opens the door to positive feelings and energy.

That energy can be felt around the world, and it starts inside us.

How often have we, after we have been hurt, wished that the person would simply recognize our pain and say, "I'm sorry?" How often have we wished that the person would simply see us, hear us, and turn the energy of love our way? How often have we longed for at least a change of heart, a small dose of reconciliation, in relationships tainted by unfinished business and bad feelings? Often, others do too. It is no secret. The energy of healing begins with us. Our willingness to make amends may or may not benefit the other person; he or she may or may not be willing to put matters to rest.

But we become healed. We become capable of love.

Today, I will work on a change of heart if hard-heartedness, defensiveness, guilt, or bitterness are present. I will become willing to let go of those feelings and have them replaced by the healing energy of love.

You are reading from the book:

The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

Our problem is that we expect to feel secure.

Many of us have had past crises and problems, yet our worries and anxieties continue in the present. We believe that our situation causes our fears and we say, "If only things were different, I could relax." Yet even when everything is going well, we still get anxious that something unseen is amiss. When we are immersed in our fears, unable to let go and live life joyfully, we may become emotionally absent from our loved ones.

Our problem is not that life is insecure. Of course it is. Our problem is that we expect to feel secure. We put great energy into achieving control and having everything "just right," but quite naturally we end up without control. Then we think something is wrong. Instead, we can choose to turn our fears over to our Higher Power. We do that by talking about our fears, taking the steps we can, and trusting our Higher Power for the outcomes. Then we return to emotional contact in our relationship.

Tell your partner something you fear and turn it over to your Higher Power.

You are reading from the book:

The More We Find In Each Other by Merle Fossum and Mavis Fossum