Hi everyone, I am sober 3 weeks now and trying hard to stay that way. I find it hardest not to drink when I'm alone and know that my husband will be gone for hours (like now). I feel like I can sneak out and have a drink and he would never know. But I would know. So I'm not gonna do it. I have PTSD and when I'm alone I start feeling anxious and it's so tempting to just drown it like I have for far too long. Anyway, stay strong people. I will too. Don't want or need alcohol to deal with my feelings. I think I'll do a little yoga RIGHT NOW. Peace!
Big Congrats on 3 weeks ... Have you tried an AA meeting??? ... you will find unlimited support in the different groups that will help ensure your success in getting and staying sober ... of course there are those of us here that can help as well ... But being 'live' and 'in person' is the best way to go ... it makes it personal ...
If you need help in a certain area, don't hesitate to ask us anything here ... we been through it all ... and those of us that have succeeded thus far are in a better position than those who are now 6 feet underground ... no pun intended ...
Love ya and God Bless, Pappy
__________________
'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Wow! Thanks for the responses! I really didn't think anyone would answer! I made it through that day without drinking, I did the yoga instead. SO Sober since 5/4/2017.
Yes, I've gone to one A.A. meeting so far, going to another this next Friday. I have committed myself to 52 meetings. One down, 51 to go. I'm trying to find the right meeting where I feel comfortable. This is not my first rodeo with A.A. I actually felt like I was drinking too much a couple of years ago, went to a couple of meetings and decided I wasn't an alcoholic, I just needed to "cut down." Which of course worked only for a little while.
I like the meeting I went to last Friday. It was well organized and the people seemed friendly, but then i found out there's a women's group meeting just before that one. So I'll be trying that one this next coming Friday.
I only came to the realization recently that the drinking and the PTSD are connected. Did not realize how anxious and nervous I was until I quit drinking. Now that I'm not drowning out the anxiety with alcohol, I am letting myself deal with those anxious feelings. It is so tempting to run out and get a bottle of wine or a couple of beers, maybe a little shot or two, when I know my husband's not going to be around for hours, he has a meeting or whatever. We live in the country, nothing out here but a few woodpeckers and some squirrels. No witnesses. When I'm alone, I feel really alone and the anxiety rises. PTSD make a person antisocial so I don't have any friends to call. My friends have become the wine bottle, a shot or two of whisky, a little vodka... those are my friends now. We are pretty remotely located, but isn't it funny how no matter where you live, there is always that little liquor store or corner market not too far away. You know, the one in every small town. So easy to drown out your anxiety with liquor, it's cheap, readily available and takes effect very quickly. Calms you right out. Makes you feel cool and in control and fast. Then you have that second drink... and why not a teeny bit more... and ... well you know how it is.
With the help of the A.A. meetings and maybe coming to this board or getting a sponsor or whatever, I firmly believe I can give it up forever. I just have to not give up. I am seeking psychiatric treatment for the PTSD anxiety, but my insurance sucks and there's only a few doctors out in the boondocks where I live and only ONE psychiatrist. He's booked through July. I did find a hypnotherapist so I'm going to try that while I wait for an opening with the ONE psychiatrist in my area.
Thanks for your replies, folks, keep on keeping on and i will too.
Thanks for sharing, NB. Recovery is a wonderful thing. Don't let those "friends" take it from you.
Meetings, reading literature, psychiatric treatment, recovery forum participation, a sponsor and yoga can all be part of a system of recovery that you design.
Keep us filled in on how you're doing. We're all rooting for you.
We know what a challenge it is to 'change your life', but it's worth it ... personally, I had the anxiousness and the nervousness worse during my detox period ... and that usually tosses a person right back to the bottle ... ya just have to convince yourself that you're 'sick 'n tired of be'n sick 'n tired' ... and it seems as though you have by seeking help ... good for you ...
Some of us are sicker than others ... I finally went to a meeting a day for just shy of 2 years ... nearly died before working things out ... Work the 12 steps with a good sponsor ... stay TRUE to yourself ... I like your attitude ... hang in there ...
Love ya and God Bless, Pappy
__________________
'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Mystic, it is always of help to me to hear about people with PTSD and a drinking problem on top of it. You've been sober 30 years!! What an inspiration! I am sorry to hear about your wife and glad you have decided to do what she would want you to do and stay committed to not drinking. One day at a time is right. That's all anyone can do.
Well everyone, I'll post anytime I feel like taking a drink. Which will be never. So it's been nice talking to you but I won't be around anymore.
Peace to you all. Farewell. Adios, Adieu and Sayonara
*snort* I'll prolly be posting real soon.. but I made it through today at least. One day at a time.
