Sadly this isn't my first time as a poster on this board. I was quite busy here for sometime a few years ago, and then as the title said... I just had to find out if I really was a true alcoholic. Well, 3 or so years later I think that question has been well and truly answered.
God. What a mess. Just like the first time around I spent it blowing up everything good in my life. But anyway I'm back and I want to stay back. I want to learn from the mistakes I made in not keeping myself fit for when the challenge comes. But I'm not sad, or angry at myself for not doing so, just a lot confused and baffled at how easy one slip turned into three years of hell. How you can have a bright shiny soul one day, and a selfish and ugly the next.
It's good to see some familiar names here still. And I'm glad that we could meet again with me sober today. Even though it's only been recently that I put the drink down, I can already feel a lot of the old calmness and niceness returning, and I am looking forward to going through that wonderful spiritual growth again.
... I just had to find out if I really was a true alcoholic. Well, 3 or so years later I think that question has been well and truly answered.
God. What a mess. Just like the first time around I spent it blowing up everything good in my life.
I'll keep coming back, one day at a time
Welcome back to MIP OneDay ...
Unfortunately, or fortunately, depends on how one looks at it, ... I did the very same thing ... the big problem for me was the 'time' I wasted try'n to decide the direction I wanted to move in ... After very nearly dying(9 YEARS AGO) on my last trip to a Rehab center, I simply said I GIVE UP ... I knew without a shadow of a doubt, if I did this one more time, it'd be my last ... that I may as well grab a shovel and dig a hole to save someone the time and effort to bury me ...
I kept think'n that all the times I said to myself, 'this is the last time I'm go'n to do this' ... only to sober up, think okay, I can handle a couple beers, I just need to stop after a beer or two, like normal people, and go on about my day ... after years of do'n that, IT NEVER WORKED ... oh man, the insanity of do'n the same thing, over and over again, expect'n different results, is absolutely, positively NUTS ...
So, many of us wake up one day, years later and realize I'm screw'n my life up and many of the lives of those around us, unfortunately, those we love the most ... all for the selfish act of getting that 'high' that has us by the 'short and curlies' ...
I decided I wanted sobriety no matter what it took ... thus, I came back to AA and humbled myself enough to listen, and then work the steps as they showed me ... the last 9 years have been great, better than I could have dreamed possible ... well, except for some medical issues for which I'm still having to deal with ... and I wouldn't change a thing EXCEPT that I'd have started sooner if I'd had one smart brain cell in my head ... LOL ...
We wish you the best and are here to help in any way we can ...
Love ya man and God Bless,
Pappy
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Sorry to hear you haven't been well Pappy. I hope it's nothing serious.
I neglected to mention my old handle here: Frodo. Couldn't remember the password, and hey, I never really liked that name anyway, so one day sounded good to me.
Speaking of which it's 10 minutes to midnight here so it looks like another day was handled with success. :)
Hey OneDay, ... I remember your 'Frodo' tag ... you had some awesome posts ... they were very inspiring to me and others ... But, being an alcoholic too, like you, there were times I did a little experimenting too ... and it never worked out excepting that I came back too ... had too many friends that didn't make it back ...
Remember this post??? :
http://aa.activeboard.com/t46263925/what-a-ride/
__________________
'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
I remember posting on my one year anniversary... I don't remember it being that well said. I must have been inspired.
Damn, I really miss that guy. He was the best me I've ever met. I think he's still around somewhere though. I'll look up his number and give him a call, I think, and see if he wants to hang out.
