We used to run people down all the time. We realize now that it was because we wanted unconsciously to build ourselves up. We were envious of people who lived normal lives. We couldn't understand why we couldn't be like them. And so we ran them down. We were always looking for faults in the other person. We have found that we can never make a person any better by criticism. Am I less critical of people?
Meditation for the Day
I must admit my helplessness before my prayer for help will be heard by God. My own need must be recognized before I can ask God for the strength to meet that need. But once that need is recognized, my prayer is heard above all the music of heaven.
Prayer for the Day
I pray that I may send my voiceless cry for help out into the void. I pray that I may feel certain that it will be heard somewhere, somehow.
__________________
'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
The mind is a baby giant who, more provident in the cradle than he knows, has hurled his paths in life all round ahead of him, like playthings.... --Robert Frost
Sometimes we are bewildered by the options open to us. We feel we have no way of knowing which course would be best. But when we reflect calmly on our choices, we usually find very few that are realistic, that are in tune with our personalities and consonant with the rest of our lives.
It sometimes seems that a choice made, or an option dropped, when we are very young, can determine our whole lives. This is probably an illusion. Perhaps we believe that our fate was forever altered by missing a train ten years ago. Late at night, we might talk wistfully of what might have been, "If only I'd caught that train..."
Most likely, though, our lives would have turned out pretty much the same. What happens to us, and what we choose, seem to follow the same pattern - a pattern that is true for each one of us. We've marked out our paths, whether we're fully aware of them or not.
Sometimes I am indecisive because I desire to remain open to life's choices. Today I will act freely and strengthen that freedom by making responsible decisions.
__________________
'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting. --Karl Wallenda
In walking a tightrope, a person has to learn to relax while going forward in a situation filled with risk. If he is tense and keeps his body rigid, he will lose his balance and fall. But if he stays relaxed and keeps his muscles loose while remaining very focused, he can continuously respond and readjust his balance while walking. Then he will experience the exhilaration of success. This is a perfect metaphor for life itself, for growing in an intimate relationship and for growing in recovery.
Life itself is a risk. When we hold on too tight, remain too guarded, and anxiously try to control every factor, we become stiff and reactive rather than calm, focused, and responsive. The guidance of this path teaches us to let go of our anxieties and leads us to peace of mind. When we learn to do that, we can deftly walk our path and more effectively maintain our balance in dealing with whatever comes up.
Today I will calm myself while walking on my path.
__________________
'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Where are we going? What's the plan for our life? Most of us didn't intend to end up as we have, but here we are! And a significant number of us might not be alive if it weren't for this program. We may have thought we knew where we were headed in our youth, but few of us got there. What we are learning now is that we have an assigned journey and that a Higher Power is in charge. This means we can relax. We don't have to figure anything out. We need only follow our conscience.
Following our conscience means never intentionally hurting another person. It means following through on the responsibilities that are clearly ours. It means honoring God by being grateful for our many blessings. It means feeling joy for the gift of life we've been given. It means trusting that our journey is special and necessary to the other travelers on our path.
I will remember to appreciate the nudging from my conscience today.
__________________
'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Just as the ivy that grows on a windowsill requires water and light, our friendships need care and nourishment. We might wish that a good friend would be there whenever we wanted. But we get so busy scrambling to cover all the bases in our lives that we lose touch with friends, even with our partner. We neglect even to ask, "How are you doing?" "How am I doing?"
In spite of our busyness, the time we take for a brief telephone call can make us feel more relaxed and less busy. These seemingly small attentions are important to friendships and instill the spirit of human warmth and care into our lives. It reminds us again of what gives us meaning and opens us up to the affectionate feelings in our partnership.
Call a friend you have not seen for a while just to renew your connection.
__________________
'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Imagine a world in black and white, maybe gray. Boring, isn't it? But some of us want our emotional lives to be like that.
A friend told me about a song he played in the car while driving with co-workers. It was a song about the richness of life, the high points (marriage, the birth of children) and the low points (death and loss) and how good it all was.
"One of the guys in the car wondered how you could possibly consider loss good," my friend said. "I tried to explain, but I'm not sure he got it."
I understood. All our experiences are rich colors that make a full life.
Have you ever cried so hard that you thought you would never stop? Have you ever laughed so hard you cried? Have you ever known someone you didn't want to live without a friend, lover, or relative? Have you ever been so forlorn you thought you'd never be happy again? And just when you were about to lose hope, or right after you did, your Higher Power came through? Have you ever felt so angry while driving that when a streetlight went out, you thought your anger did it? Have you ever felt so angry you wanted to break something, stomp, or spit? Have you ever wanted something so badly - like sobriety - and been so afraid you couldn't have it, you were willing to go to any lengths to achieve success?
It's important to feel all our emotions - jealousy, desire, anger, love, despair, and the taboo feelings. I know, feelings can be a pain in the neck. Feelings can make us feel ill. If we don't feel them, they don't go away. And it can take awhile to figure out what to do with them after we notice they're there.
Red with anger. Green with envy. Blue with sadness. The pink cloud of recovery. Go ahead. Pick a color.
Please don't settle for only black and white. Value vibrant, colorful emotional health.
__________________
'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Hope smiles on the threshold of the year to come, whispering that it will be happier. --Alfred, Lord Tennyson
At the start of this new year, we look back at what has been and we look forward to the future. Our path has been filled with healing and hope. Rewards have come to us each day. Now, looking toward the year ahead, we can't know much of what will happen, but we can recommit ourselves to our healing and sober path. We can have renewed comfort and optimism that we will not be alone and that we will be able to handle whatever comes our way.
The start of a new year is a good time to make lists of the things we fear, the things we hope for, and the things we are grateful for. These lists serve as a kind of snapshot inventory of our attitude toward the world and our relationship with our Higher Power. They point a direction for us today and for the year ahead. We can put these lists in a safe place until next year when we will bring them out as a reminder of where we were and a measure of how far we've come.
Today I once again turn my life and will over to the care of God.
__________________
'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
We may do something that we do not want our partner to know; perhaps something that puts us in a bad light. If we lie about it, what do we gain? Our secret may be safe, but we have put another brick in the wall that prevents us from having an open intimate relationship. Our white lie does not protect our relationship, it damages it. By chipping away at our self-respect, we also damage our relationship to ourselves. Before long we become suspicious of others, believing that they also are not as they say, or that they are manipulating us.
By this process we project the infection in our soul onto our partner. If we believe he or she is manipulating us, perhaps we need to face our own manipulation. Our partner may have defects, but to help our relationship grow, we first look to the only one we can change, and that is ourselves.
Think about your honesty with your partner. Can you improve your relationship by clearing up a misleading message you have given?
__________________
'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Many days we are tempted to ask Why? Why did this happen to me? Why was I singled out? Why am I not a different person? But the whys lead only to clever explanations and rationalizations of what we do or what we are. The question for us is not Why? but How?
We ask how to learn and work our program of recovery; the "how" can give us a deeper understanding of the program. We ask God How? and God provides the strength and guidance needed. "How" will lead to everything needed for recovery and personal growth. "Why" is irrelevant.
Am I learning how to live?
Higher Power, teach me how to live, love, and learn.
__________________
'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
All of my life I've been like a doubled up fist... poundin', smashin', drivin' - now I'm going to loosen these doubled up hands and touch things easy with them. --Tennessee Williams
Everyone has many sides. Some sides are highly developed and other sides aren't at all. We need not fear turning to a new side and exploring it. This recovery program has enabled us to pursue sides of ourselves that were closed before. When we were lost in our narrow world of codependency and addiction, we had fewer options. Now we have far greater access to our strength and our self-esteem, and we find new parts of ourselves.
Many of us have found relationships, which were never possible before, job choices we would never have had, and the pleasure of greater involvement in life. It is reassuring to see that we don't always have to give up one side of ourselves to add new ones.
Thanks to God for the many options opening up to me in this renewed life.
__________________
'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Many of us, in trying to run away from our essential aloneness, have abused alcohol, work, drugs, food, money, and entertainment. In spite of our frantic activity, we have continued to feel "alone in a crowd," "alone in our dreams," and "lonely in our marriages."
These experiences should prove we cannot successfully avoid coming to terms with our aloneness. The sooner we accept responsibility for our lives, the sooner we will stop inflicting unnecessary pain on ourselves.
In accepting our aloneness, we accept that no one can protect us from ourselves - and that no one can live our lives for us. "Aloneness" simply means that we cannot depend on others for our joy or sorrow. We are the authors of our actions, attitudes, and experiences and not the "victims" of fate or circumstance.
Today I will not be afraid of my aloneness. I will accept total responsibility for my attitudes, actions, or neglects. I will not seek unnecessary pain by relying on what others say or do to make me happy.
__________________
'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Connection is not just about making time for family and friends. It's about a sense of caring for other people. It's about connecting with the human spirit even when there is no national crisis. The other day I was walking down the street when a woman ahead of me tripped and fell on the sidewalk. Two people walked by her as if she weren't there. Others just stared without offering help; I stopped to help, as did another person. We both waited for an ambulance to arrive and then we left. I couldn't believe what I had just witnessed: a human being was in need of assistance and most people walked on by.
If we give lip service to love, how can we not be kind to the individuals we meet along our journey, regardless of their race, gender, religion, or sexual orientation? What happened to the connection?
This week is about making the connection. It's about making the time to connect with others.
__________________
'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
"Vision is, I think, the ability to make good estimates," wrote Bill W., the co-founder of Alcoholics Anonymous. "Some might feel this sort of striving to be heresy against 'One Day At A Time.' But that valuable principle really refers to our mental and emotional lives, and means chiefly that we are not foolishly to repine over the past nor wishfully daydream about the future." Can I believe that "A day has a hundred pockets when one has much to put in them... "?
Today I Pray
I pray that the bright colors of this day may not be blurred by muted vagaries of the future or dulled by storm-gray remnants from the past. I pray that my Higher Power will help me to choose my actions and concerns out of the wealth of busyness that each day offers.
Today I Will Remember
I will not lose for today, if I choose for today.
__________________
'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
There are many ways of breaking a heart. Stories were full of hearts broken by love, but what really broke a heart was taking away its dream - whatever that dream might be. --Pearl S. Buck
No new door is opened without the inner urge for growth. Dreams guide us, encourage us, stretch us to new heights - and leave us momentarily empty when they are dashed.
Recovery has given us resilience and a multitude of reasons for living. We have come to understand that when one dream serves us no longer, it is making way for an even better one. Our dreams are our teachers. When the student is ready, a new one comes into focus.
Dreams in our earlier years often came to naught. They couldn't compete for our attention as effectively as the self-pity. The direction they offered was lost. Each day that we look forward with positive anticipation, we put the wreckage of the past farther from our minds.
Our dreams are like the rest areas on a cross-country trip. They refresh us, help us to gauge the distance we've come, and give us a chance to consider our destination.
Today's dreams and experiences are points on the road map of my life. I won't let them pass unnoticed.
__________________
'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
If you go around thinking you are being cheated, life becomes very unpleasant. --Felix Salten
Sometimes we feel cheated that we have been given this darn disease to cope with. Why us? Why can't we just be like normal people? Why did we have to get into so much trouble and pain as a result of a disease that hit us and skipped over other people?
Another way to look at it is: Hey, I'm really lucky. I have a killer disease, and I'm beating the odds. I'm getting healthier every day. I got my life back.
Another way to look at it is: At least this is a disease I can recover from.
The Big Book Promises (on pages 83 and 84) say that any feeling of self-pity will disappear by the time we are working Step Nine. We may even be grateful for the path that led us to recovery. Do we believe it? There's one way to find out: We need to try it.
Prayer for the Day
Higher Power, help me to remember that there are a lot worse things in life than being in recovery.
Today's Action
What are five good things that I have gotten from recovery? Ten? I will write these down and refer to them when I'm tempted to feel sorry for myself.
__________________
'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
The more I learn of others' problems, the more my own problems automatically dissolve. --Tarthang Tulku Rinpoche
Newcomer
The second part of Step Eight says, "became willing to make amends to them all." I have to admit that this is a lot harder for me than simply recognizing that I've caused harm. I don't know if I'm ready to talk to certain people.
Sponsor
The willingness to make amends to everyone we've harmed, even those who may have harmed us, is something that we don't have to force or strive for. We become willing as part of yet another gradual process in recovery. We have begun to recognize that everything is interrelated, that whatever we've done to others, we've also done in some measure to ourselves. This is true not only of any harm that we've done, but also of the compassion that we've begun to feel. As we come to understand the impact of addiction on our lives, as we release our secrets and are met with gentleness and understanding, as we participate in the healing laughter at meetings, we replace old feelings of shame with compassion. Our new capacity to feel compassion for ourselves restores and revitalizes our understanding and care for others.
We become willing to make amends when we realize that in doing so, we are healing ourselves.
Today, I cultivate openness and compassion toward others.
__________________
'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Saying thank you from the heart makes us feel full. Perhaps we don't really know we have something until we express our thanks for it.
There are different levels of gratitude. There is the polite, automatic response when someone opens a door for us or the bank teller tells us to have a nice day. Simple, almost perfunctory, these acts of courtesy nevertheless add an element of grace to our daily transactions.
On a more personal level, saying thank you often and sincerely to those we love keeps us from taking each other for granted. We all like to feel appreciated - how many relationships dry up because the people involved don't realize what they have?
Then there is the gratitude we feel toward the God of our understanding, the source of all the blessings we enjoy but do not create for ourselves. This thankfulness can be a part of every breath we take. As often as we remember the many gifts of every day, our emptiness is filled.
Today, I will replenish my supply of gratitude.
__________________
'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
He who is swift to believe is swift to forget. -- Abraham Joshua Herschel
Life is full of questions. Many people tell us they have the answers. We have to be careful of who and what we believe. Other people's ideas may not fit us.
The program doesn't tell us much about what to believe. It teaches us how to believe. How well the program works for us depends on what we believe and how well we live it.
When we face all the facts, we can really believe. We believe we are powerless over our addiction. We believe we must and can change some things in our lives. We believe we can trust a Higher Power to care for us. When we choose to believe, we want to choose the best beliefs we can. And once we believe, we must not forget.
Prayer for the Day
Higher Power, help me know You, and help me know the truth.
Today's Action
Today I'll think about my First Step. Do I truly believe I'm powerless over my disease?
__________________
'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
I have 98 days clean and sober today, Thanks to AA, And my higher power, I really believe in this program, I really believe it works... It's now time for me to step out of my comfort zone, Tomorrow I start working again, I have some fears but I know that the time is right and the time has come for me to be a productive member of society again, Thanks to my support group my wife my family and friends I was able to take these days and work on myself now it's time to go back to work and start supporting my family again, I will continue to go to meetings, I will not forget that I am where I'm at today because of this program,,, Today I believe that without my sobriety none of this would have ever been possible,, Without my sobriety I would not have a family to support,, Without my sobriety I would not be employable today,, Without my sobriety I would have never found my higher power,, Without my sobriety I would not be who I am today,, What a beautiful thing it is to be able to be here and share this with you guys today, Thanks to you guys, Alcoholics Anonymous, My family, And my higher power for letting me share this joy with you guys. I love this program and I love all of you guys.
-- Edited by NewOscarT on Tuesday 28th of March 2017 11:50:49 PM
Congrats on 98 days ... WOW, that's fantastic ... We all went through that fear of getting back out in the stream of things ... for me, I found that saying the Serenity Prayer about a hundred times a day helped me through the ruff spots ... 'It really worked'... ... ...
Love ya and God Bless, Pappy
__________________
'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
I just pictured in my mind what I wanted to do. You can use that same formula in accomplishing anything in life. --Ida Bellegarde
The imagination is a powerful tool. With practice we can perfect our use of it and the results will astound us. Research has shown that athletes who visualize a practice session on the field or mountain or course hone their skills as effectively as those who practice "in the flesh." This may be hard to believe, but it's nonetheless true.
If this formula has worked for others, it can work for you too. But how do you begin? First, consider what you would like to do. The next step is to sit quietly, close your eyes and imagine, in detail, the activity you want to pursue. Stay quiet with this image until it feels natural. Take special note of the sensations you feel throughout your body, the colors you see around you, your inner voice's message. Absorb the experience fully before coming back to reality.
Repeated "journeys" with your mind will make any activity feel familiar, and enough familiarity makes success possible.
I am not prevented from doing anything I really want to do. Using my imagination to experience it the first time will get me started.
__________________
'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
"I know I've got some emotions up, just brewing right beneath the surface," Jake said one day. "I'm edgy, irritable, and definitely not centered. But I don't want to look. I don't want to go into the emotions. I don't like feelings. Whenever I give into them, I end up feeling like a piece of cooked spaghetti for days."
Emotions can take a lot out of us. Feeling them, whether it's anger, fear, or sadness, can leave us exhausted and drained.
Not feeling our emotions, however, can keep us edgy, irritable, and off-balance. Not feeling our feelings for an extended time can drive us to acting out, whether that means overeating, obsessing, staying in bed and hiding from the world, or staring at the television every night until we pass out.
Be gentle with yourself. Don't force it. But don't run away from your feelings, either. You might feel like cooked spaghetti for a while, but what's really softening up is your heart.
God, help me face and feel any feelings.
__________________
'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Thank you Pythonpappy Saying the serenity prayer definitely helps me through out the day I'm working for my dad in Orland California at his Olive Ranch. So I had to move up here from Marysville California, I'll go home on the weekends and every Thursday to meet up with my sponsor. My dad's old school and he don't have time for this serenity prayer, He could definitely use the 12 steps in his life. He's a raging maniac, he blows up over not finding a shovel, or an irrigation hose, he could definitely use some serenity in his life , LOL , unfortunately yes he is an alcoholic,. Today I just did my job and wrenched all day, finished around 6 pm ate dinner , found a meeting in town at 7pm that was an awesome speaker meeting. Came back home did some step work and I'm calling it a night, Nice going to bed sober knowing I ain't gonna have a hangover tomorrow morning.
Choice of attention - to pay attention to this and ignore that - is to the inner life what choice of action is to the outer. In both cases, a man is responsible for his choice and must accept the consequences. --W. H. Auden
Many of us have said, "I can't help myself!" when we tried to stop our constant thinking about other people or their behavior. "I know it's not good for me, but what can I do when they keep acting that way?"
Let us think of ourselves as living in a house with many windows. At each window is a different view, and within each view are many things to catch our attention -- perhaps there are some people, some traffic, some buildings, a horizon, and some trees. If we always go to the same window and focus on the same object, we are not using all our choices. We may have overlooked some things in our lives that need attention. There are many things we are totally powerless over. Our power exists in changing the focus of our attention.
Today, I will notice where I am choosing to pay attention. I pray for guidance in being aware of my options.
__________________
'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
