I got a great sponsor who is battling cancer. He'll be starting Chemo soon and his wife tells me it is going to be very aggressive. I called him the other day and he spoke to me about dreams he's been having about drinking. He says they're very vivid and it reminds him of the very difficult struggles he had when he first was in rehab and started AA. I thankfully have never had such dreams. He has a great sponsor who goes to his house, talks to him on the phone and has had some home meetings because he is still too weak from recent operations that he had. I go down South for the winter and feel kind of helpless to help him in any way. I listen intently when we talk on the phone and I try to be up beat. I know he's scared, uncertain and down sometimes? He's been sober over 30 years and has always professes a strong program. I myself am pissed but try to understand what can't be understood. All I can do is pray and tell him if he wants to talk and can't get hold of his sponsor I'll be there for him. I read all the literature I can to find something good to share with him with not much success. I've been sober over seven years now and lost 3 sponsors. I feel like the damn widow spider. Just a tough time that I or he cannot control and looking for what to say.
I found out a couple months ago that my cancer had returned, hence the absence from the board here ... I was feel'n great and simply went in for a 'check-up' ... BOOM ... suddenly, now I have 3 oncologists to add the list ... I'd had a stroke last year as I was finishing up rad. therapy for the second round of cancer ... then carotid artery surgery to stop the strokes, then open heart surgery to fix 99% blockage there ... SO ... I can relate ... looks like I'll be in it for the long haul again, starting with the chemo ... despite all that the prognosis is fair to good ...
On my worst days now, I feel things are 100 times better than when I felt so helpless in 'alcoholic' REHAB the last time ... (about 9 years ago) ... Sober living is so much better than the alternative ...
Jimmyjam, ... the most important and effective thing you can do is 'BE THERE' for you friend, you'r brother in AA ... It's called 'giving back' ... I have these friend in my life and it makes it worth fighting for, to stay alive and try to be that inspiration to others who are experiencing the very same thing ... None of us know how things will turn out, but if 'we' allow alcohol to 'call the shots' then we are doomed ...
Tell your friend that he's been instrumental in getting you to think the right way and that you hold him in high regard for teaching you about sobriety ... it would be sad to see him or anyone of us to throw away the values of sobriety that we have learned to hold so dear ...
Love ya man and God Bless, Pappy
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Jimmyjam, you are doing great service work for your fellow AA with your concern, discussion, care and understanding.
You are helping him as much as you possibly can. That's because you have the gift of sobriety.
He has the gift of sobriety, too. That means he has an open communication line to his Higher Power, whose grace will rain down upon him and get him through the crisis
