Today's Gift -- Nov.

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

Today's Gift -- Nov.

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

. . . love grows by service.
--Charlotte Perkins Gilman

When we shower someone special with much needed attention, or maybe flowers, or run an errand for a friend, or volunteer to do a favor for an unnamed person, we benefit in many ways. We're appreciated; we feel good about our own behavior, and we've tightened the connection to another person that fosters personal human development.

Most of us long for more signs of love from one another. Yet we fail to understand that our own expression of love to that special someone will release the love we long to feel.

Love multiplies with frequency of expression, whether stranger-to-stranger, friend-to-friend, lover-to-lover, parent-to-child; and everyone is the beneficiary.

Love's expression spontaneously generates more of itself, thus promising each of us what we long for.

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

Getting angry can sometimes be like leaping into a wonderfully responsive sports car, gunning the motor, taking off at high speed and then discovering the brakes are out of order.
--Maggie Scarf

Anger can multiply our difficulties in many situations. All of us can look back and remember times when we only made our problems worse because we stepped on the gas and lost all ability to use the brakes.

Now we are growing into more adulthood. We are learning to manage our feelings and use them well. This doesn't happen overnight. We would do well to recall how energized we have felt when we let our anger fly and how much we loved that energy at the moment. Only later did we face the damage we caused. Saying we are sorry isn't enough: we must also be willing to take on the harder task of changing our behavior. When we accept that we love the power and the energy of our anger and aggression, we can begin to rein it in and take charge of it rather than be ruled by it.

Today I will not indulge in the pleasure of anger allowed to run wild.

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

Thought for the week: Learn a new skill

It's an esteemable act to have the courage to learn something new.

Affirmations for the week:

I am willing to learn a new skill. This week, I will do something I'm not yet good at.

Esteemable actions for the week

Have you ever avoided doing something because it was too hard or too scary? Have you ever not learned a new skill because you were afraid you'd make a mistake or just look silly? If you're like most of us, you've been there - done that. And like many people, you've missed out on a great deal of fun and opportunity because you were afraid to learn something new.

Think of things you're good at. Now remember the first time you did that activity. I bet you weren't very good. Actually, if you're like me, you had to try, try, and try again before you got into the swing of things. Am I right? Yet it was the conscious, consistent practice of that new skill that ultimately made you proficient and confident that you could do it. Think about how good you felt when you finally got it right.

No question about it, learning a new skill is hard, it's scary, and at times it's embarrassing. In the past, each time I tried something new and didn't get it the first time, I wanted to give up. It felt like the end of my world. But I didn't give up. There are even days when I know what I'm doing and still feel like I'm off the beam. And on those days, I just don't give up.

Today I know whatever I'm experiencing is part of my learning process, whether it's using my computer or speaking in front of an audience. My job is to remain teachable.

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

When one door closes, fortune will usually open another.
-- Fernando De Rojas

Sometimes, especially in early recovery, we concentrate on our losses instead of our gains. We see a chapter in our life closing, and we mourn. We must leave some friends behind, or say good-bye to a social life we enjoyed. We must give up active addiction, which had become our best friend and only comfort. We may even have to leave our families, at least for a time, in order to concentrate on our own needs.

We need to grieve all these losses. Then we can see more clearly what recovery has brought us. For every loss, we've gained blessings. For every friend gone, we have the chance to make many more. A whole new sober life awaits us when we're ready to be part of it.

When we gave up the fake comforts of addiction, we found genuine comfort in sound sleep and healthy bodies, in peaceful days and serene nights. When we were ready to give up anger and resentment, we found generosity and forgiveness toward other people, and toward ourselves, too. In recovery, it's true, one door has closed. But another, better door has finally opened.

Today help me be grateful for my new life. Help me grieve my losses so I can appreciate all that awaits me.

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

Humility is to make a right estimate of oneself.
- Charles Haddon Spurgeon

What does it take to come to the place where we can exchange pride for humility? First we must stop the blasphemous charade of pretending that we are no good. "I'm worthless" has often been spoken in the name of humility. But these words, or any other words that express the same sentiment, are a self-indulgence and a cop-out.

The essence of humility is summed up in the Serenity Prayer: God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.

Humility is truth. To be humble is to know the truth about our limits, to recognize what can be changed, and to accept that all good things are possible with the help of our Higher Power.

Excessive pride prohibits acceptance because it prohibits the truth, and the truth is that some things are unchangeable. Refusal to accept that truth gets us plenty of frustrations and anger - and no humility at all.

Today, I humbly ask God for the wisdom to accept what is and to let go of what isn't.

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

Promises that you make to yourself are often like the Japanese plum tree - they bear no fruit.
--Frances Marion

The resolve to fulfill commitments we make to ourselves and others may be lacking until we learn to rely on the wisdom and strength offered by our higher power--strength that will make us confident in any situation; wisdom that will insure our right actions. What is difficult alone is always eased in partnership.

We promise ourselves changed behavior, new habits, perhaps, or a positive attitude. But then we proceed to focus on our liabilities, giving them even more power, a greater hold over us. We can practice our assets, and they'll foster the promises we want to keep.

No longer need we shame ourselves about unfulfilled promises. Whatever our desires, whatever our commitments, if for the good of others and ourselves, they will come to fruition. We can ask for direction. We can ask for resolve, and each worthy hope and unrealized promise will become reality.

My assets, when strengthened through use, pave the way for God's help. Any promise can bear fruit when I make it in partnership with God.

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

Accepting those things we cannot change frees us.

It's so easy to get caught up in other people's lives. Assuming that we know what's best for them seems so natural. Many of us have excelled at being caretakers, but it's time to back off and let our loved ones fend for themselves. That means letting them make their own decisions and live with their own consequences.

We can't change other people. Certainly we have made others feel guilty enough so that they have given in and done things our way. And we have won many power struggles. But ultimately we can't claim ownership of anyone else's mind, and we aren't the stewards of anyone else's life. We may feel diminished by our lack of control initially, but in time we will love the freedom of living only our own lives. The extra time we'll have and the peace we'll know will comfort us.

I will experience many moments of relief and peace when I let others be their own stewards.

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

If we see only ourselves, it's a very lonely world.

We can learn the difference between taking care of ourselves positively and being so negatively self-centered that we are forced into solitary confinement, where we dry up for lack of genuine interchange.

We should know who we are. But we should also know who our neighbor is, and our friend, sister, boss, or child. To know other people and see beneath the exterior they present, we need to be comfortable enough with ourselves so we can relax and look and listen. We also need to be humble enough to realize we can learn from someone else and benefit from the gifts she or he brings to the relationship.

With recovery comes new empathy and sensitivity. As self-will loosens its grip, we are open to the intuitive knowledge that enhances our interactions with those around us. Since our vision is less clouded by the problems of addiction, we can see others more clearly and understand them better. Recovery offers us a way out of loneliness into companionship and community.

I will use my empathy to deepen my understanding of those who cross my path today.

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

The universe is full of magical things, patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper.
--Eden Phillpotts

We hear others talk about how they got out of debt. We see people who have peace and serenity in their lives, who have healthy relationships and dream jobs. We realize that being debt-free means more than not having to pay as many bills. In others, we see what we have to look forward to by changing our behaviors. We get inspired and excited to be debt-free. We start working the program diligently, expecting to see miracles in our lives any minute but nothing happens.

We stop focusing on the outcome of our new ways and stay mindful of what we've committed to - no debting one day at a time. When we do this, we give energy to everything good. If we stop focusing on it, it will flow to us.

Today I will trust that when I act in a mindful and honorable way, everything good will follow.

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

People have always wanted to talk to me about their problems. I guess I'm a good listener. Maybe I have something to contribute after all.
--Joann Reed

No one is without value in this life. Maybe we haven't discovered our unique purpose or special gifts, but we each have a place in the universe or we wouldn't be here.

Each of us can offer friends a valuable gift every day - we can listen. Messages from our Higher Power often come through the words of others. We perform a wonderful service for our companions by listening and by sharing our own experience and advice.

Rapt attention - giving it and receiving it - is perhaps the most valuable contribution any of us can make. Let's never underestimate the sacredness of listening.

I will keep my own mind quiet if a friend wants to share concerns today. That way, my heart may be able to offer wisdom.

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

People who fight fire with fire usually end up with ashes.
--Abigail Van Buren

How did we get so convinced that our way is usually best? That surely didn't come from a lifetime of constant success. How did we get fixed in our thinking on a given issue? Not from a track record of first exploring all other alternatives.

This rigidity probably helped us survive childhood. But now it's a wall that isolates us. It closes our minds off from ideas that are more in keeping with where we want to be. And it closes us off from people whom we would like to be with.

In recovery, we are noticing others who are not so fixed in their thinking. They don't pass judgment or criticize quickly. Their tranquility is obvious, and we want more of it. Their openness lets them hear more from others, and that is the way to knowledge, change, and growth.

We find that listening to others is now a blessing, not a burden.

Today help me be open to the example of others.

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

Life is not always what one wants it to be, but to make the best of it as it is, is the only way of being happy.
--Jennie Jerome Churchill

We are generally so certain that we know what's best for ourselves. And we are just as often certain that what we think is best will guarantee happiness. Perhaps we should reflect on all the times in the past when our wishes didn't come true - fortunately.

Did any one of us expect to be doing today, what we each are doing? We may have expected children, a particular kind of home, a certain career, but did we really anticipate all that life has wrought? Addiction, and then recovery from it, was probably not in our pictures. But it does fit into the big picture. The happiness we experience today probably doesn't visit us in the way we anticipated a few years back. But it is measured out according to our needs. The choice to be happy with what is, is ours to make, every moment.

I can take life as it is, and trust that it is just right, just what it needs to be. The big picture guarantees me lasting happiness. Today's experiences will move me a step closer.

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

Each morning sees some task begin,
Each evening sees it close;
Something attempted, something done,
Has earned a night's repose.
--Longfellow

Every day for us is a period of spiritual growth. Restful sleep prepares us for fruitful days. As each day begins, a new adventure in growth lies ahead. We seek strength and an attitude of making our lives more meaningful and positive through prayer and meditation at the start of each new day during our quiet time. We prepare ourselves emotionally for the busy hours ahead.

With positive action planned ahead, we arise to a day dedicated to accomplishment. We know we have little time for standing and idly staring. We accept new challenges as we carry out each day's plans. We encourage those around us to join us in seeking to see the best in everything that makes up our daily lives.

Restful sleep, meditation, planning, and "turning it over" starts my day with a quiet time and keeps it manageable.

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

We find that as we become more centered within the Higher Power part of us, our ego becomes less real, less threatening, less compelling.
--Jerry Hirshfield

It's a struggle at times for us to remember that our Higher Power never moves away. God is as close as our breath, awaiting our invitation to take charge. Frequently this strikes us as new information. But each time a friend or a particular reading triggers our recall, we relax, because we know that God is taking over. Once again we trust that all is well.

It's our ego that fights giving up control during the early stages of many of our troubling experiences. We are frustrated again and again as we try to force what we think is the best solution; again and again, in the end, after we've finally given up the struggle, God smoothes the path.

This program guarantees us a smooth trip every step of the way. All we have to do is give up control to God who is always waiting for us to turn our attention from our problems to God's presence.

I will feel peace and joy throughout today because I'll remember my Higher Power's presence.

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

We need four hugs a day for survival.
We need eight hugs a day for maintenance.
We need twelve hugs a day for growth.
--Virginia Satir

Virginia Satir was an internationally acclaimed therapist. She knew a lot about what people need to be healthy and happy and to live in good relationships with each other. She was very smart, and most of her advice was pretty simple.

Take hugs, for example. What could be more simple? One person reaching out to touch another person with safety and care. Very simple. But what do hugs give people? Comfort. Acceptance. The basics we all need no matter where we are at today.

Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, help me ask for the hugs I need and want today. Remind me today to offer hugs to the people around me. And help me feel the big hug You have for me too.

Today's Action

Today I will talk with my sponsor about this question: What is easier for me - to get a hug or to give a hug?

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

If you play with a thing long enough, you will surely break it.
--Anonymous

Some things shouldn't be played with. Our recovery program is one of these things. When we play with our program, we're taking a risk. We play with the program by missing meetings. Or by not calling our sponsors. Or by skipping the Steps we think are too hard.

It's okay to play. But it's not okay to play with our recovery program. When we play with our program, we risk our lives.

Prayer for the Day

Higher Power, help me know that I must work this program with care and respect.

Action for the Day

Today, I'll make two lists. On one list, I'll write ways I work on my program. On the other list, I'll write ways I play with my program. And I'll put my energy into working the program.

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

A man has made at least a start on discovering the meaning of human life when he plants shade trees under which he knows full well he will never sit.
--D. Elton Trueblood

Our lives are enriched by the contributions of those who lived before us. Many men and women gave more than they ever took from society, and now we enjoy the rewards. Some people were fired with a spirit to beautify the world and planted trees that will live for 200 years. Others wrote music that speaks to us from another generation, and others established a government that guides our principles of justice. They gave so much because they knew they were a part of their community and the world.

Most of us cannot make the great contributions that will make us famous, but we enrich our lives when we contribute freely to improving our community and the world. We do that when we simply say hello to our neighbor, when we serve on a volunteer cleanup committee for a local park, and when we do Twelfth Step work in the program. We too have beautified and contributed to the world, and that gives us a feeling of peace and self respect.

Today, I will appreciate all that comes freely to me from others, and I will give what I can to make the world a better place.

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

If I have freedom in my life,
And in my soul am free,
Angels alone that soar above
Enjoy such liberty.
--Richard Lovelace

When a cow decides to stop nursing her calf, she isn't rejecting it. She knows it's time for the calf to be on its own. Although the calf might feel rejected and puzzled at first, it soon adapts to its new independence and freedom.

When we feel rejected, it's useful to remember that whatever has caused us to feel this way might have nothing to do with us. It might be a reflection of what's happening with someone else, or just the end of a natural stage in life, as with the calf.

When we understand that others' actions toward us come from their own feelings, and that we don't cause their feelings any more than they control ours, we can free ourselves from a little bit of fear and self-hate. We can see what seems to be rejection as an open door, with our freedom on the other side.

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

Resentment

Of all the negative emotions, resentment diminishes us the most. It brings unwarranted anger toward those who have something we want, and self-pity for ourselves. It drains us of the energy we need to change our lives and work toward goals. Resentment keeps us in a rigid judgment of who "should" and who "should not" achieve success; all "should" attitudes are pointless, breeding discontent and wasting time. Above all, resentment is ugly to see and even uglier to feel. When I'm resentful, I feel hatred toward others and myself.

Today, I ask for the humility to accept my limitations, without resenting others who have exceeded them. I ask for the courage to pursue my own goals, not comparing myself to others.

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

. . .we may surprise ourselves by discovering a treasure.

Not all secrets are bad. Some secrets are more like unspoken, unacknowledged mysteries than sinister destructive forces. We may quietly know what it is like to be a man or a woman in an intimate relationship, but we may never have told anyone in words. We may have a sense of how our lives have changed as a result of our relationship, but we may never have stopped to fully express it, even to ourselves. A piece of music may touch a place within us that does not have words. Those secrets are valuable and worth guarding like a precious treasure.

When we try to find words for these secrets, we may surprise ourselves by discovering a treasure. They may give us a sense of power or join us with others who understand us. These treasured secrets are an adventure for a couple to reveal to each other. What is the most valuable lesson you have learned about intimacy since you first met? What would you reveal to your son or daughter about the ways to gain the greatest happiness in love? How would you choose to live the last day of your life?

Select a treasured secret to tell your partner, and then try to describe it to him or her.

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

A.A. Thought for the Day

Let us consider the term "spiritual experience" as given in Appendix II of the Big Book, Alcoholics Anonymous. A spiritual experience is something that brings about a personality change. By surrendering our lives to God as we understand Him, we are changed. The nature of this change is evident in recovered alcoholics. This personality change is not necessarily in the nature of a sudden and spectacular upheaval. We do not need to acquire an immediate and overwhelming "God-consciousness," followed at once by a vast change in feeling and outlook. In most cases, the change is gradual.

Do I see a gradual and continuing change in myself?

Meditation for the Day

"Come unto me all ye that labor and are heavy laden and I will give you rest." For rest from the care of life, you can turn to God each day in prayer and communion. Real relaxation and serenity come from a deep sense of the fundamental goodness of the universe. God's everlasting arms are underneath all and will support you. Commune with God, not so much for petitions to be granted as for the rest that comes from relying on His will and His purposes for your life. Be sure of God's strength available to you, be conscious of His support, and wait quietly until that true rest from God fills your being.

Prayer for the Day

I pray that I may be conscious of God's support today. I pray that I may rest safe and sure therein.

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

The expression of praise as thanksgiving, gratitude, and joy is among the most powerful forms of affirmation.
--Catherine Ponder

Praise inevitably has a multiple effect. It positively acknowledges another human being, enhancing his or her well being, while making us feel good. This offering of love, which is the substance of praise, heals all who share in its circle.

We can see the effects of affirmation in the people we admire. We can discern its absence too, particularly among those who struggle. How difficult is it to give small acknowledgments to those we care about? Making a habit of this heals our own inner wounds too.

Affirming a friend or ourselves connects us to the spirit residing within. That bond fills in our empty spaces, making us whole and healed. Our security grows as we praise one another.

I will freely offer my love in the form of praise to the wonderful friends on my path today.

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

Apologies

Sometimes, we act in a manner with which we are less than comfortable. That's human. That's why we have the words: "I'm sorry." They heal and bridge the gap. But we don't have to say, "I'm sorry" if we didn't do anything wrong. A sense of shame can keep us apologizing for everything we do, every word we say, for being alive and being who we are.

We don't have to apologize for taking care of ourselves, dealing with feelings, seeking boundaries, having fun, or getting healthy.

We never have to change our course, if it is in our best interest, but sometimes a general apology acknowledges other feelings and can be useful when the issues of a circumstance or relationship are not clear. We might say, "I'm sorry for the fuss we had. I'm sorry if what I needed to do to take care of myself hurt you; it was not intended that way."

Once we make an apology, we don't have to keep repeating it. If someone wants to keep on extricating an apology from us for the same incident, that is the person's issue, and we don't have to get hooked.

We can learn to take our apologies seriously and not hand them out when they're not valid. When we feel good about ourselves, we know when it's time to say we're sorry and when it's not.

Today, I will try to be clear and healthy in my apologies, taking responsibility for my actions and nobody else's. God, help me figure out what I need to apologize for and what is not my responsibility.

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

The divided self exists in all of us.
--Marie Lindquist

One gift of sobriety is the growing awareness that we are complex, whole individuals, more than just our dark side. Defeated, we came into this program of recovery certain that our lives would be forever fraught with problems. Little in our experience made us proud. Surviving our hateful, painful, and confusing lives was our proudest achievement.

The moment we admit our powerlessness over our drug of choice and over other people, a fresh start commences. Becoming willing to let a Higher Power influence our lives gives us a chance to glimpse the brighter side of our being. We discover it was there all the time.

We'll always have both sides, the dark and the light. We're human. Nevertheless, we tend to strengthen the part of our self that calls to us loudest. Which side we hear is up to us.

I am a complex human being. I have the next 24 hours to live as I choose.

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

You've got to get up every morning with a smile on your face,
And show the world all the love in your heart,
Then people gonna treat you better.
You're gonna find, yes, you will,
That you're beautiful as you feel.
--Carole King

"Act as if." There's magic in behaving the way we want to be, even though we don't yet feel it. The behavior seems to lead the way. The attitude, the mental state, follows.

Many days we may not get up with love in our hearts for our family, our friends, our co-workers. We may, in fact, want them to show their love for us first. But if we reach out, give love unconditionally, focus on another's needs, love will return tenfold. And the act of loving them will lift our own spirits. We will know love; we will feel love for ourselves and the many other persons close to us.

The attitude we cultivate, whether one of love or selfishness, inferiority or superiority, will determine how the events of our lives affect us. The principle is so simple. If we meet life with love, with a smile, we'll find love and something to smile about.

My attitude will make this day what it becomes. Meeting it head-on, with love, will assure me of a lovely day.

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

Are you meeting roadblocks to recovery?

A disorder means out of order, not the way things should be. Are we convinced that addictive behavior is counter to the way we are intended to function? Or do we harbor, somewhere in the back of our minds, the idea that we'll never change our habits?

Fear of change, unwillingness to change, and lack of confidence in our ability to change are all roadblocks to recovery. Believing in our capabilities is the first step toward clearing those roadblocks and realizing our potential in recovery.

Somewhere along the line we developed an addiction, but we don't have to be under its power forever. We can think about what a Higher Power would want for us, and we can decide to move toward that positive goal.

The roadblocks of fear, unwillingness, and lack of confidence will give way as we immerse ourselves in the Twelve Step program. We need help, and we have help. We give help, and we receive it. Changing to constructive habits may be slow sometimes, but it's always possible.

If I'm faced with a roadblock today, I will call on my spiritual resources.

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

If the best man's faults were written on his forehead, it would make him pull his hat over his eyes.
--Gaelic proverb

When we deal with our faults and imperfections, we are dealing with the basic issues of being a person. We can become bitter and cynical about the imperfections of others, or we can realize every person is incomplete but growing, just as we are. The way we look at the faults in others and the way we look at our own are closely tied together. In our spiritual journey, we must begin with the premise that no person ever achieves perfection.

Perfection apparently is not what this life is about at all, since perfection is nonexistent. We are lovable, and we can love in the process of living our lives. Since we are not perfect, we have to be accountable. We must have standards for our behavior and hold ourselves to those standards, admitting our mistakes and making repairs where we can.

I will try to acknowledge my mistakes and give up the idea of ever becoming perfect.