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Post Info TOPIC: New to AA, wife is in recovery and need help with advice about 13th step


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New to AA, wife is in recovery and need help with advice about 13th step
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Hi I'm new here but am very worried about my wife and wanted to see if I could get any help or advice here.  My wife has been a severe alcoholic for the last two years since our first child was born, dealing with post partum and the stress of a new baby.  She has been to rehab four times and I think she's sober and hope she stays that way.  

Now however, I'm very concerned she is heading toward disaster because she hasn't been home in over a month and has started seeing a new guy, doing the whole 13th step thing which I know always leads to disaster. He is supposedly 4 years sober and the classic 13 step predator.  I've been going to Alanon too myself to take care of my issues from dealing with her alcoholism but now this scum bag has come into her life and she thinks he is her 'higher power' and he can do no wrong.  She's only a month out of rehab and scared to death this guy is just taking advantage of a vulnerable and gullible person now to his advantage.   We have also been married for 3 years with 2 kids so it makes it even more despicable. 

We live in Orange County, California and I believe she goes to meetings in Laguna Beach, Mission Viejo, Costa Mesa, and maybe Huntington Beach. 

I wanted to see if anybody has ever heard any stories or dealings with a ##### who lives in Costa Mesa and if he's ever done this to other people?  I just want her to stop this destructive behavior and if he has a history of it, hopefully she will listen and come to her senses.  

Thank you so much for the help and please PM me or contact me if you have any advice or information.  I'm just very desperate right now and want to save my marriage and family.



-- Edited by Pythonpappy on Wednesday 17th of August 2016 03:53:32 PM

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One day at a time. It isn't over until it's over, never lose hope.


MIP Old Timer

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Hi rcost....
I am sorry that you are dealing with that and unfortunately, your wife is going to have to figure this one out for herself. There are a lot --and I mean A LOT of sick people in AA and 13th Stepping happens all the time. Plenty already said on this board about it and loads on the internet.

One thing to keep in mind is that anonymity is extremely important in AA. Posting someone's name and location isn't a good idea. Probably the moderator will delete it, as no matter what you feel this person's involvement is with your wife, we shouldn't post names here or on any other site like this.

Best of luck to you.

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MIP Old Timer

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Welcome rcost, ...sorry to hear what go'n on in your area ... LTR made a good point, anonymity is very important here ... as a moderator, I need to ask you to edit your post and remove this guys name ... whoops, I just tried the edit on your post and found out I 'can'edit ... how bout that ... never mind then ... please refrain from posting actual names here ... thanks  ...


Thanks,
Pappy



-- Edited by Pythonpappy on Wednesday 17th of August 2016 03:55:53 PM

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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'



Senior Member

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"she hasn't been home in over a month and has started seeing a new guy"

 

File for emergency custody of children and file for a divorce.

 

As God's people we stand on our feet. We don't crawl before anyone.



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Sounds like you already have the information you need, if you already know for a FACT that your wife is being unfaithful to you and having extra-martial affairs.

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"God can move mountains but it helps to bring a shovel!"

 

 

 



Senior Member

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Dude, sorry to hear about this.  I have no advice to offer, just a prayer for you and your kids.  



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