When I went to my regular Saturday AM meeting this morning, I found out that a friend of mine died a few days ago.
He was a really good guy, always quick to make friends, always considerate of others and he had a personality that really put others at ease and just made people feel good being around him. Everybody liked him. But he had a pattern of relapsing repeatedly. I never saw him during one of these relapses, I would see him when he would come back to meetings a few days later, each time saying that 'this time he had really hit bottom'. Of course all of us who knew him were often blunt with him about this pattern, and pointed out that just because he made it back to sobriety this time didn't mean his luck would hold out the next time. But he was one of those people who always seemed to bounce back from the consequences of a relapse fairly quickly and easily. No major injuries, no major legal consequences, no incarcerations. He always seemed to get right back to where he had been before the relapse with ease - until this last time. He was found dead of a drug and alcohol overdose, alone in a skid row hotel room.
The memorial service was scheduled for today, a couple of hours after the morning meeting. So I went to it, along with a large number of other people from AA. His mother was there, inconsolable with grief. The officiants at the service did their best to say things that would make some kind of sense out of this, or that were intended to ease the pain of the families and friends left behind. But what could they, or anyone say, really?
I've been to a lot of services like this throughout the years that I've been sober. They do not get easier for me. But I'm glad I went.
I had to bury one of my friends this year, after 18 years of periodic relapses. He committed suicide. Heartbreaking for those of us who have applied the solution, and we know it works. This disease is cunning, baffling and powerful. I never underestimate it or lower my guard. It's daily work on my program of recovery.
Alcohol kills people. I wish there were a way to etch the words 'Powerless Over Alcohol' onto the Alcoholic's brain so they would not act stupidly by thinking I'll have just one.
Perhaps a written First Step is a good idea after all. :)
Thanks for share'n this Dave ... ... ... IF wev'e stuck around the program for a few years, we've witnessed death from both sides of the coin now ... some of us sober, some not ... and what always hurts me the most???, is the solution was always laying in front of those who were, for some reason, unable to apply a few simple steps in their life ... ... ... May God have mercy on us all ...
__________________
'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
He was a really good guy, always quick to make friends, always considerate of others and he had a personality that really put others at ease and just made people feel good being around him. Everybody liked him. But he had a pattern of relapsing repeatedly. I never saw him during one of these relapses, I would see him when he would come back to meetings a few days later, each time saying that 'this time he had really hit bottom'. Of course all of us who knew him were often blunt with him about this pattern, and pointed out that just because he made it back to sobriety this time didn't mean his luck would hold out the next time. But he was one of those people who always seemed to bounce back from the consequences of a relapse fairly quickly and easily. No major injuries, no major legal consequences, no incarcerations. He always seemed to get right back to where he had been before the relapse with ease - until this last time...
How were you and the others "blunt with him," Dave12? What did you folks say or do to him?
Whatever was said apparently did not work.
-- Edited by Tanin on Saturday 30th of July 2016 06:45:00 AM
