I have the next available bed at a rehab, I think it'll be tomorrow. Went to the hospital thursday night and the triage guy gave me a cup of coffee. I said I'm not drunk I'm detoxing, he was practically begging me to drive home. I waited there for like 5 hours then I told the guy I didn't feel safe driving, something is wrong with me. He sighed and sent me to the crisis unit. I stayed until the next day, two of my friends picked me up and called over ten detox clinics before finding one. I am so nervous..can't sleep...waiting for that call. Jen
Detox is awful AND dangerous ... be sure not to be alone before you get to Rehab ... seizures and strokes are at high risk until they get the right fluids into you ...
Sleep was damn near impossible for me during the 'detox' period ... and that will take time to work itself out depend'n on how you drank and for how long ... for most, it takes at least a few days to start get'n some sleep, and for some, it can take up to nearly a month or two ... (took me about a month before I could sleep without a strong pill before bed) ...
Your mind will be your worst enemy during this time ... you'll find that you'll be unable to put any cognitive thoughts together for a while, your mind will race from one thought to another be'n unable to concentrate on any one thing for more than a few moments ... THIS IS NORMAL ...
SLOWLY ... you'll begin to relax enough to make sense of things again ... until then, try not to make any bad decisions ... listen to what the Drs and Therapists suggest to you and just 'do it' ...
Keep come'n here so we can support you and lift your spirits ... YOU CAN DO IT ...
Love ya and God Bless, Pappy
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
I have so much anxiety and every other symptom in your post, the littlest noise scares me to death. Still waiting for the call for the bed, feel veery discouraged. Finally ready and willing to go to rehab and I can't get in. jen
Sounds like the time has definitely come to get the help you need ... just try to be patient for a little while longer ... and everything will be okay ...
If you get real bad before you get your spot, it's okay to have a little alcohol to settle your nerves ... NOT a lot, just a little so you don't go apeshit with a nervous breakdown ... try not to drink though ... But by all means necessary, get to rehab ... many of us never get that 'second chance' ...
Come here and post as often as you like and we'll try to respond as quickly as we can ...
Love you and God Bless, Pappy
__________________
'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
My anxiety has ALWAYS been worse when I was drinking and when I was getting off alcohol. I tried to fool myself into thinking alcohol helped my anxiety. I forgot how much more paranoid, fearful and self-conscious I was while drinking and especially while detoxing because my mind and body was having to deal with not having it. One thing I noticed is that I ALWAYS felt much better emotionally and physically when I had been sober for a while....and it didn't take all that long. I have been around people who betrayed me, lied to me, backstabbed me--I stay away from people like that now. I'm done. Many of them I gave second, third and more chances. When I have become depressed, angry and desperate, my thinking has been warped. I have thought it was okay to reach for a bottle or two....alcohol was always "there" for me--in my mind. Turned out that alcohol was my biggest foe. I started to say the biggest liar....I realize that I was the liar. I was lying to myself thinking drinking would help me get through and overcome all my problems and make things better. I have given alcohol more than three chances...I have given it more times than I can count! Doesn't make sense to me how I can get the message about people who hurt me over and over and get away from them when I have not been able to get away from alcohol after it has hurt me more than any person ever could. It is crazy!
Sleepytime tea is an all natural herb tea and helps calm me. You may want to try it. Wish I had reached for a cup or two of that instead of a drink about three weeks ago, and the times before. And I hope that there are AA meetings where you stay. If I didn't have God, my meetings (and I have to go everyday!) and this board I believe I would still be drinking. And I can't just sit in the meetings and expect to stay sober. I am now willing to work the program as it was designed to be worked. I cannot do this alone and there is no reason why I need to go through all that mess again and again.
To continue to drink, means certain death. I have to have that in the forefront of my mind every single day many times during the day if I ever start to think that alcohol is my friend.
-- Edited by leavetherest on Saturday 11th of June 2016 07:31:47 AM
and jen.....why don't you watch the video I posted on another link....and laugh....or come back here and post that you didn't think it was funny...that is fine too. Just keep posting and find out that you have friends here who care about you. I felt like you are feeling not that long ago....and I felt lonely, afraid and I got so up in my head I didn't think I had a life worth living (and I cannot remember feeling that "death wish" thing when I was sober). I am feeling much better and you will too. Just try to remember that you will feel better, too.
Thanks..no one in my state that takes state insurance has a bed. Hoping for Monday. Starting to feel better in some ways. I was balling, my bag was packed and I was finally ready to go to rehab then there's no beds. I have been keeping very busy, At the very least I'm going to 1 on 1 Tuesday, maybe she can help get me in somewhere.
Jen, go to a doctor, get a couple of Benzos, go home, drink lots of healthy juices and smoothies, and have some good friends around. It would be nice if you had somebody from AA with long term sobriety come over and help you out. You don't need no bed at a $30,000 a month rehab house. Half them people don't understand addiction or alcoholism anyway.
Stay home, read the Big Book, listen to good music at a low volume level, and do a lot of reading. You can get through it without rehab.
But you need to start thinking about going to meetings, ASAP.
