When I came into the program, everything was a big deal, and I was very serious. My finances, my future, my wreaked relationships - everything was overwhelming. I remember attending meetings and hearing the laughter and thinking, "What's so damn funny? The only reason we're here is because our lives suck!" It took me quite a while before I could join in with that laughter, and the moment I did my life began to change.
As I got further into the program, that sense of impending doom began to dissipate, and I felt like I could breathe again. The secrets and shame I had hidden so long began to come out, and as I shared what was inside me with others, I began to feel lighter. I began to laugh more at myself and with others, and I finally began to feel human and a part of again. Most of all, I started to realize what was truly important.
Today I know that the future will take care of itself if I take care of today. I now have faith that there is a God working in my life and that even if things don't go my way, that's not only OK, it often turns out for the better. Today, money isn't as important as relationships, and the only thing that really matters is health and sobriety.
Today I've learned to live life on life's terms and, most of all, not to take myself so damn seriously.
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Copyright @ 2016 Michael Z
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
