The self is a calm stable center surrounded by a continuous changing sea. Merge with yourself and be ready for any emergent sea.
--Coretta Scott King

Wise ones tell us to be true to ourselves. Being true to ourselves means daring to disagree with a loved one, even when we know it might cause painful tension. It means refusing to go along with the group's plans if our values are being ignored. It means standing alone, if necessary, in our family of origin if their expectations of us no longer nurture our growth.

With the help of the Fourth and Tenth Steps, we are learning who we are. We have recognized our shortcomings, and we have defined the assets that make our lives productive and enviable. Each day we are getting closer to knowing more completely the "inner person" who is calm and centered, unruffled by the external activity.

I can be calm and centered today if situations get tense. My "inner self" will take my hand and give me the words I need.