We don't want to live in the past, but we do need to learn to live comfortably with it.

"We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it." This is a promise of the Twelve Step program.

One of the most useful tools we have for learning to live with our past is the Fourth Step inventory. Once we have examined our dark corners and shared with someone else the times when we did not live up to our expectations, we no longer fear reminders of those times, nor do we try to block them out.

It takes energy to try to hold shut the door to the past. Coming to terms with mistakes we have made, making amends, forgiving ourselves, and forgiving others releases this energy so we can use it for living more fully now, in the present. Allowing the door to the past to swing open in its own time gives us access to the good memories that we were also repressing.

Is there something I need to do today so that I can live more comfortably with the past?