A politician awoke in a hospital bed after a complicated operation, and found that the curtains were drawn around him. "Why are the curtains closed," he said. "Is it night?"
A nurse replied, "No, it is just that there is a fire across the street, and we didn't want you waking up and thinking that the operation was unsuccessful."
Something for all you romantics.
An elderly couple had just learned how to send text messages on their mobile phones.
The wife was a romantic type and the husband was more of a no-nonsense guy.
One afternoon the wife went out to meet a friend for coffee.
She decided to send her husband a romantic text message and she wrote:
"If you are sleeping, send me your dreams. If you are laughing, send me your smile. If you are eating, send me a bite.
If you are drinking, send me a sip. If you are crying, send me your tears. I love you."
I just learned to text last year ... I never text while drive'n ... hell, I don't even answer the phone while drive'n ... I fig'r who-ever or what ever can wait til I'm where I need to be ... and I do return calls ... (text'n does have it's advantages, but these 'smart phones' are too damn smart ... I'll never fig'r how to use them to their full potential ...)...
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'