I am not new to AA but I am a newcomer anyway. I went to AA meetings 15 years ago but I never admitted to being an alcoholic. I've been drinking for 25 years. My last drink was on September 8, 2015. I admitted to being an alcoholic in August. So I know some about the steps. I have now been sober for 33 days and counting. I am really involved in my church and my pastor is a recovering alcoholic. She is my sponsor but I don't really know what a sponsor is supposed to do. She has helped me not to drink on one occasion but I know that this is largely between me and my higher power. I am looking for any newcomer advice you might have to give and I am looking for a place to share because I do largely better in writing than I do in person. Anyone have anything they can share with me about what a sponsor is and does? I have been working steps 1-3 and am about ready to move on to step 4. I'm not really sure how to go about doing step 4 and I don't know if I am supposed to share that with my sponsor or just between me and God. Any advice?
The 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous are best done with someone who has already had lots of their own experience working the 12 steps and has successfully applied them in their own life. They can tell you what their own experience has been with the steps, what they learned, how they applied it, what worked and didn't work, and what results they got.
There are various opinions about what a sponsor is for and what a sponsor should do, but in my experience, the role of the sponsor is to do exactly what I just described above. Show you how to work the 12 steps.
Some people may feel inclined to go to a sponsor to get advice or support about various other things, and some sponsors may try to fulfill these requests, but that can tend to get into areas that this person is just not really qualified to address. Because the sponsor is, after all, just another alcoholic, who happens to have had experience staying sober via the 12 steps. They are not our marriage counselor, career counselor, financial planner, or lawyer, and it just doesn't make good sense to try to put a sponsor into those roles for which they are not qualified.
You may want to read the AA pamphlet on sponsorship for more info:
You can also read all about the 12 steps in both the AA "Big Book" and the book "Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions", which you can get easily at just about any AA meeting. Welcome!
glad you found us ... yeah, I was go'n to post the web site Dave has already posted, to help you with understanding sponsorship ... it's very good ... a sponsor is important to assist us, or guide us, through the twelve steps ... and to be there when we need someone to help us through a ruff spot, to help us NOT drink ...
Dave also suggested reading the "Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions" which helps us to understand the whole purpose of the AA program ...
Keep us up-to-date with your progress ... we can help ...
Love ya and God Bless, Pappy
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Thanks Davep. I downloaded a Big Book onto my Kindle from Amazon and am reading that. Right now I can easily say I am resting in steps 1-3. I'm not quite ready to move on to step 4. Still adjusting to thinking of myself as an alcoholic. My family has been trying to tell me that I'm not really an alcoholic but I cannot stop drinking on my own power and I know that I am. It took me many years to admit it. I haven't been to a meeting yet, but I have a list of ones that I can go to. I went to my church to share with my pastor and she said that she wanted to be my sponsor. I never had a sponsor before when I went to AA back in 98-99. I always just kept my mouth shut and listened and then would go home and drink anyway. I wasn't ready yet, but I am now. I just don't want to expect too much of her because I know as a pastor she has many demands. So I will go to that link and read that. I will probably spend some time reading this board and probably will have more questions. I appreciate your fast answer and from Pappy too. Oh yeah my pastor is a recovering alcoholic and has been using AA for years. I never would have guessed that about her but then again to look at me nobody probably would guess it about me either. I'm just coming to understand that alcoholics are all shapes and sizes and from all various walks of life. Today I was thinking that I am not really an alcoholic and I could just go and get one bottle of wine and be okay but I know that is a lie and the truth is my next drink would bring my next disaster. I would be immediately back in bondage. It's amazing to me the way the mind works. I am grateful to have found this board. Hope to get to know a few of you in the days to come.
-- Edited by Thankfulheart62 on Monday 12th of October 2015 08:56:33 PM
Our whole purpose in being here is for those of us who have some sobriety under their belts to be able to 'give back' what we have so freely been given ... a sober life ... those before us spared nothing in helping us learn to get and stay sober ... we are here to do that for you and anyone else that wants what we have ...
I love your current attitude and approach ... I pray that you are WILLING to follow a few simple steps in order to free yourself from the bondage of alcohol ...
Love you and God Bless, Pappy
P.S. This site is great, but get to some 'meetings' ASAP ... they will give you strength ...
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Thanks Pappy. I have my biggest difficulty after 6:00 p.m. Yesterday I was thinking that maybe I'm not really an alcoholic and one bottle of wine to enjoy would be okay. But then I remember the last time I drank, I didn't "enjoy" it at all. In fact, I don't think I ever did. I drank to pass out so I would drink hard and fast. I have picked a few meetings out from my local directory and plan to go. They are evening meetings since that is when I have my most difficult times. But God has given me 34 days today and I know that I cannot afford even one sip of alcohol because I will be right back in the cycle of my addiction. So I plan to surround myself with as many people who are recovering as possible. I appreciate your comments.
So I plan to surround myself with as many people who are recovering as possible. I appreciate your comments.
Those people are found in the meetings ...
Our stories disclose in a general way what we used to be like, what happened, and what we are like now. If you have decided you want what we have and are willing to go to any length to get it-then you are ready to take certain steps.
At some of these we balked. We thought we could find an easier, softer way. But we could not. With all the earnestness at our command, we beg of you to be fearless and thorough from the very start. Some of us have tried to hold on to our old ideas and the result was nil until we let go absolutely.
Remember that we deal with alcohol-cunning, baffling, powerful! Without help it is too much for us.
One drink for us is too many, and a hundred is not enough ... one drink will set in motion a craving most of us simply cannot ignore ... we must go on til we 'pass out' ... THAT IS NOT what I call living the good life ... not anymore anyways ...
Love ya and God Bless,
Pappy
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
