Tipsy mcstaggers post well the replies, prompted some thoughts.
Around ten years ago I reached the pinnacle of being a poor father.
Since then I've got and stayed sober. Tried and failed to rebuild my marriage. Tried and failed to reconnect with the now adult children I sired.
Engaged in different relationships for wrong reasons with poor outcomes.
So this morning, near on 6 months after beginning to step out with a woman who doesn't need me to rescue her, isn't interested in how deep my pockets are, just wants to be my equal and be treated like that.
Well her 16 year old daughter gives me a fathers day card, which is great, but what she wrote was beautiful and honest.
It said Bill, you're not my dad but you behave like you want to be. You treat me like im your own flesh and blood. My mum is happy with you and so am I. Lots of love. Your daughter.
Maybe I got a second chance to do it better and maybe I am.
Seems like I inherited a family here. Mum, 2 daughters, granddaughter, 2 dogs and a cat. They all seem to like me.
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It's not having what you want, it's wanting what you got. BB
It's a responsibility.
It's also a privilege, denied to many.
It's an honour and I am grateful for this second chance.
Yes, it's brought a sharpness to my loss of my family and my behaviours that led to that. I know my part in that. I have made peace with that.
It's hard not to project. I'm trying to be more dog. Live in the day.
Maybe I get to support, encourage and be present for me, my partner and both her daughters.
So far, so good.
Thanks to AA and the support made so freely available, the honesty, the arse kicking and the arms around the shoulder.
This fellowship has at times held me up when I was ready to give up. Laughed with me. Cried with me. Told me to grow a pair. Lent me a backbone. Shown me that change is possible, probable, necessary and inevitable and shown me how to change and what tools to use.
All this on midsummer night too.
Candles were lit and observance made. Gratitude expressed and hope reaffirmed.
Blessed be.
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It's not having what you want, it's wanting what you got. BB
Thanks for your post BB ... it 'made my day' when other things in my life were starting to get me down ... it reminds me that I can always count on my brothers and sisters here to say the right thing at the time I need it, for that, I am grateful ... and to think, you didn't even know you were 'lifting me up' ... boy, God does work in mysterious ways ...
Love you man and God Bless, Pappy
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
