Maybe the first one would be okay and some in between I attend meetings with my wife ...her recovery at times in helpful to me and other times I don't alter mine for or because of her. I have my own meetings I go to without her also and my own group of supporters some know her and like her a lot and they also work their own programs. We're in this together for ourselves? My wife trusts my sobriety and sanity she doesn't work my recovery. That make sense? Most important...get to the meeting.
The most important thing is to go to a meeting ASAP together or separately ... but you guys cannot, or should not, let the other ones' success or lack thereof, effect the other ... it is a personal choice to follow the suggestions regarding recovery and it must come first in our lives, before anything else ... else we become totally useless as a human being and a danger to all those who love us ...
Pappy
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
I might suggest going together...and also separately. Some areas have Men's meetings and Women's meetings. You can share recovery together but you will each be at your own level of recovery. Any meeting you go to is a step in the right direction! Best wishes to you both!