Hello Lynn.

               If you have an issue with alcohol , you have come to the right people .

I reckon , EVERYONE on this forum was in Your shoes , if you have any . Yes some

of us did Not . But , we were all concerned & confused for OUR future .

WE Support each other & help each other When we can , sometimes , by just

"being there" . Most of us Also RELY on a "Higher Power" .

Lynn , WE also had to give Time , time . Yes time for us to . PUT ourSelf back together.

Please hang in there Lynn.

 

 

All of our problems become temporary because of and with help from other recovering alcoholics.  Try using trust here and see what happens.   ((((hugs))))

Thank you to all who replied. Every bit of what each of you had to say resonates, and makes a difference. I have never tired to get help before. I always drank socially however, now I find myself binge drinking and its interfering with everyday life. I find myself feeling lonely when I'm sober and angry when I'm drunk! I am a college educated women who took Psychology and knows way to much about addiction to find myself in this position. I find myself, in moments of sobriety, realizing this is not what I want for the rest of my life and that I'm getting worse as time goes by. For instance it takes longer to recover, it's no longer to socialize, and It is making me sick on a weekly basis sometimes twice a week!!! I am simply looking for some kind of support from somewhere!!!
Thanks again for taking the time to read about my story!          

Yes, assistance would be great! Am hoping to go to a meeting but am having a hard time imagining my life without alcohol.  I guess I am looking for a place to start. A meeting....... some support. I still have mixed emotions, and there are other factor like I am not the only one with an addiction problem in the picture.  So asking for help feels so defeating at this point but its better now than later!!

Sounds like you are right where you need to be to get started : ) Trust me, ALL of us reached that point where we could not imagine life without alcohol, yet we could not bear to face going on with the way things were any longer. When you get a copy of the AA "Big Book" (called simply 'Alcoholics anonymous') you will find that this situation is described precisely right there in the book. It was written by the first 100 people to get sober in AA. 

But life without alcohol is not at all the way we picture it when we are first considering taking action. When I was first thinking about doing something about my drinking, my only reference for what sobriety would feel like was those rare times when I had been able to 'white-knuckle it' for a day or two before starting up again, and I knew that those periods felt horrible.  But sobriety in AA is not like that at all. I've been completely sober for a long time now and this feels NOTHING like those miserable and desperate periods of sheer-willpower abstinence. This is true freedom from active addiction. I don't want to drink, I don't crave it, I don't need it, I don't feel like I'm missing anything, and I'm living a good life full of gratitude for what I have found in AA.

But we're getting ahead of ourselves - all you need to do is find a meeting and go. Get there a little early (it can be more comfortable than walking in when the room is already full). Maybe ask if they need  any help setting up chairs or whatever. It can help you feel more comfortable. Tell them you are new to AA. Get a copy of a local meeting schedule, and get a copy of the AA "Big Book". After the meeting, stick around for a couple of minutes. If someone in the meeting said something that you really appreciated, talk to them afterward. Ask them what other meetings they can recommend, and that way, when you go to that meeting, you'll already know someone. And get a couple of phone numbers from other people, and CALL THEM instead of picking up a drink. Your entire job now is just to get to that first meeting, and don't drink after than meeting, and then do it again tomorrow.  

So what do you think? Want to give it a try?

 

 

What time zone are you in (what time is it there right now)? And do you know how to find a local meeting or do you need help with that?

just4me wrote:

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Thanks for you advice, and for taking the time to talk to a fellow stranger!!!

---

 You're welcome, but that's just what people in AA do for each other. That's what people did for me when I was new.

Do you need any help finding a meeting?

Hi just4me, ... It sounds like you have already completed Step 1 of our 12 steps ... good job ... AND, one of the first things I was taught in AA is that we don't think about having to quit drinking 'forever', we just look at it as just for today ... I will not drink just for today ... tomorrow is another day ... so for today, I WILL NOT TAKE A DRINK ...


Love you and God Bless,
Pappy

-- Edited by Pythonpappy on Friday 6th of March 2015 11:42:53 PM

Big smile here - what a coincidence! I got sober in Orange County CA years ago. It's where I grew up as a kid. I live in northern California now, but I still go down there several times a year to see family and i always stop in at my old 'home group' AA meetings and say 'hi' to all the wonderful friends who helped save my life and then helped me find my way to a whole new life.

I mostly went to meetings in Costa Mesa, Huntington Beach, and Garden Grove. I also found some great meetings a bit further out, in Long Beach and Laguna beach. I think just about everybody in Laguna beach must be in AA!

It's Friday night so I know there are several late night meetings in OC at 10 PM and even midnight. Instead of trying to get through another night of either white-knuckling it, or giving up and drinking again, why not look in the meeting directory and find a meeting that you can get to tonight? I encourage you, please, just take that little leap of faith and take that first step. I'll check back here in just a few minutes and see what you found, okay?

just4me wrote:

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So, I have taken a step and haven't left the house??? I feel motivated!!! 

---

 Use that motivation to take action. Here is the on line version of the Orange County meeting directory :

http://www.oc-aa.org/directory/meetings.asp?day=SELECT+A+WEEK+DAY&city=SELECT+A+CITY

 

Sorry, I lost my train of thought ... by all means try to make a meeting tonight ... and if you can't afford a BB, I'm sure they will give you one ... this could very well be the most important decision for you to make in your lifetime ... AA literally saved my life ... and today I have learned to love life without the beer and whiskey ... and like Dave, I don't even think about it ...

I was hopeless in '08 ... and since finding a home with AA, I now have many, many, life long friends that I call my brothers and sisters who all help each other over the ruff spots in life ... there is no need to use alcohol for me any more ... I have much more than I'll ever deserve ...



Love ya,
Pappy

Giving up the alcohol by yourself ... by sheer will-power ... Less than 1 tenth of 1 percent are successful doing it that way ... and you will literally clench your fists and climb the wall doing it that way ... I know, I've tried that many times ...

Dave's right!!!

just4me wrote:

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I am sorry, mean no disrespect! Just need to learn the terms!!!

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 Oh, no problem at all! I just want you to have the best chance possible of success. Believe me, Pappy and I REALLY KNOW what it feels like to be where you are, and believe me, we want to help you get beyond that point. 

So - there are late night meetings in Costa Mesa on Fridays, are you near there?

Then for tonight, you could just start reading some of the AA Big Book. And I encourage you to take a look through the directory and find a Saturday morning meeting that you can definitely get to before you start drinking. Very very important. Don't put this off until Saturday evening, okay?

Thanks, want you to know that Meth is in my face every day, yet I think I'm better cause I choose to use alcohol instead of Meth, to drown my sorrows. I find myself stuck thinking that this is better, and still know I need to get away completely to have a life! This is my life but I have hope still!!

My husband would be so mad! He takes the money when I call him out he manipulates me and I am at the point now where I drink enough I fight back with words!!! Although, I have had my nose and head busted open, I stay! Like I said their are multiple issues!!

Joining AA can be a first step in solving those type problems too ... it has for thousands, no, millions of sufferers ... just so you know, AA is not a religious group at all, but we are a group that uses a 'higher power' for our recovery ... an individual will chose a power greater than themselves for the purpose of recovery ... and through working the steps, we achieve an awareness that WE are not in control, something in control of the universe is ... so we look to that power to help us recover ...

I don't know what's in the cards for your husband and you, but I do know our way of life will solve a lot of your problems dealing with life in general ... what you can do is try it ... if it don't work, we'll refund your current misery with interest ... way I see it, what have you got to lose, except your current miserable state of living ... we offer a solution ... AND, it's free ... oh, you can contribute a dollar now and then if you want, but it is FREE ... ... ...

Thank You for still listening!! Your advice has not gone un listened to!!! I guess I am hoping someone will tell me that the load is not mine to bear, since my husband does meth, and I subdue with alcohol, cause that's better!!??? Yet not a question!!!???l. But I already know I need to grow up and be the adult. Thank you for listening again!!

Hey just4me, ... I'm a little anxious to know how things turned out this a.m. ... ... ... I know it's still early out there in your area, but just wanted to know how your day is going when you feel like posting again ...


Love you and God Bless,
Pappy

See, that's what our alcoholism tells us - 'he gets to be numb, why can't I do that too?' as if his meth use was some wonderful thing. We 'romance' the idea of drinking or using. But the truth is that, for people like us, who have gotten to the point where you are now, drinking and using isn't a 'party' any more. If it were still just carefree fun with no consequences, none of us would have ever even thought about getting sober, and you never would have written your first comment on this site. But alcoholism is a progressive condition. Over time, it stops giving us the sense of real relief and relaxation that it once did, and it just causes more and more chaos and dread in our lives and it makes us feel just horrible about ourselves.

My suggestion is - for now - just for today - don't pay attention to him and his using and whether he's having a great time or whether he's miserable. That is HIS business. Just for today, get to an AA meeting. Do it for YOU.  Tell them you are new and you want to do something about your drinking and that you need help. That is the ONLY thing you need to be concerned about right now. We're all rooting for you. Go ahead and do something really good for yourself and get to the meeting.  Then come on back here and tell us all how it went.

My advice is you need to look out for yourself. This has nothing to do with "growing up", or which is worse, drugs or alcohol. Many people in AA are addicted to both. If you've had enough and want to get out of the unending cycle of drinking, getting drunk, coming to the next morning and saying you're not going to do it again, you need to get yourself to an AA meeting. This is the point in your life, where if you're ready, you need to be selfish, take care of yourself and get help. People who drink socially do not have the cops coming to their house due to family disputes. You keep hammering on the fact that your husband is a drug user. Only he can get help for himself, you worry about you and stop making excuses for not being at a meeting, or you can continue on as things are and see what happens, but I doubt it will be anything good. Best wishes.