Need help

2015xx · Newbie

Need help

Tanin · MIP Old Timer

Welcome to the forum, 2015xx.

It's pretty good that you will be discussing your situation with a therapist. He or she can definitely help with the depression issue. That is a BIG subject area, one which AA does not treat directly.

With respect to your alcohol use, maybe AA can help. Maybe not. Depends if you are an alcoholic or not. AA is for alcoholics. Sometimes, that is easy to diagnose. Other times it's not.

I drank like you describe. But things kept getting worse over the years. I passed out after drinking too much. Sometimes, I blacked out. My last drunk was horrendous. I woke up the next day and faced the wreckage. I knew then I needed help.

I went to a rehab program and started attending AA meetings. I didn't know anything about AA but I identified with the other people's stories. I learned how they handled life and how they stayed sober.

I suggest that you go to a few AA meetings. Investigate whether it is for you. AA can't hurt you. And it might help.

Good luck.

davep12and12 · MIP Old Timer

hi 2015,

You might want to try answering these questions (but be HONEST with yourself):

http://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/is-aa-for-you-twelve-questions-only-you-can-answer

2015xx · Newbie

Tanin,

Thank you so much for the response. I have had a few episodes where I have drunk, not got angry, but passed out. I have a scar on my face from what looks like a carpet burn from falling head first into the floor/rug. Hasnt happened often, but I am beginning to feel like maybe its happened enough.

Thank you for the advice Tanin.

2015xx · Newbie

Thanks davep, just looking at that page right now; appreciated.

2granddaughters · Senior Member

The 12 Steps of AA will treat pretty well what ails ya. Its well described in HOW IT WORKS (grave emotional & mental disorders):
www.aa.org/assets/en_US/p-10_howitworks.pdf

I learned early on not to tell God what He could heal and what He can't. i don't sell the program short today.

The Promises don't even mention not drinking. www.singaporeaa.org/PDFs/The_AA_Promises.pdf

Quitting drinking is just the beginning of our AA healing process. www.aa.org/pages/en_US/daily-reflection

All the best.

Bob R

2015xx · Newbie

Bob thank you, and thank you for the links. The How It Works seems positive. Do I have to believe in God to have success with this? I have very strong, Richard Dawkins-esque beliefs about God. That piece is a worry for me I must be honest.

All of the links are great though, thank you Bob.

Pythonpappy · MIP Old Timer

Welcome 2015xx, ... Glad to have you checking us out ...

Just a note worth considering, many of us come here to see just what AA life is all about ... we go to some meetings and either become curious and stick around a while, or decide it ain't for us ... those of us that need it and stick around, find that the AA program is applicable to many different problems in life ... else there wouldn't be 12-step programs for many other addictions as well ... this is the 'original' 12-step program ...

Those of us that have changed our lives through this program and have come to see the promises come to fruition will certainly tell you that we wish many others would learn this way of life, alcoholic or not ...

You need not be afraid of any religious involvement, it ain't there ... but to work, you need to concede that there IS a higher power at work in our lives and that that power 'ain't you' ...

Welcome to the forum and God Bless,
Pappy

Tanin · MIP Old Timer

2015xx wrote:
Tanin,
Thank you so much for the response. I have had a few episodes where I have drunk, not got angry, but passed out. I have a scar on my face from what looks like a carpet burn from falling head first into the floor/rug. Hasnt happened often, but I am beginning to feel like maybe its happened enough.
Thank you for the advice Tanin.

Yeah, I remember that stuff, 2015xx, I'd wake up with bruises that I had no clue about. Embarassing to explain. LOL.

I don't have to do that chit anymore.

Since you're of atheistic bent, you should know that agnostics and atheists have been staying sober in AA since the very beginning. We have a concept called a "higher power" as a euphemism or replacement for "God." AA can work for atheists just fine, though there are adjustments a newcomer has to make.

On the issue of health problems other than alcoholism, AA is specific and clear that it does not treat those other afflictions, whether they are physical (e.g., diabetes) or mental (e.g., depression). The literature in AA makes this clear. For example, here is what one of the two main texts in AA says about other health issues:

...this does not mean that we disregard human health measures. God has abundantly supplied this world with fine doctors, psychologists, and practitioners of various kinds. Do not hesitated to take your health problems to such persons. Most of them give freely of themselves, that their fellows may enjoy sound minds and bodies. Try to remember that though God has wrought miracles among us, we should never belittle a good doctor or psychiatrist. Their services are often indispensable in treating a newcomer and in following his case afterward.

That cite is on page 133 of Alcoholics Anonymous, which was published in 1939. It's just as true now in 2015 as it was back then, especially with the advancements in the fields of medicine, psychiatry and psychology. Make sure you go to that therapist. That care is crucial to sobriety.

You can get better, 2015xx. And we can all help you.

peecee · Senior Member

Welcome 2015xx! I think you got great responses from others. For me, alcohol was wrapped up in a giant glob of other problems which included depression, anxiety, anger....so I will never know how much of my behavior and my personal bottom was directly because of what. I do know that I am an alcoholic and so AA has helped ALL of these things. I have been to therapy and such as well, but this program was the missing piece for me and getting sober was what really finally put my life on track in a much better and healthier direction. Hope to hear more from you!

Mike B. · MIP Old Timer

peecee wrote:
Welcome 2015xx! I think you got great responses from others. For me, alcohol was wrapped up in a giant glob of other problems which included depression, anxiety, anger....so I will never know how much of my behavior and my personal bottom was directly because of what. I do know that I am an alcoholic and so AA has helped ALL of these things. I have been to therapy and such as well, but this program was the missing piece for me and getting sober was what really finally put my life on track in a much better and healthier direction. Hope to hear more from you!

X2

That was my experience as well. I have other conditions that Alcohol would medicate, until it stopped working and caused more problems than it cured. The 12 Steps has changed ME and thus... my life. Welcome! Stick around and bring your questions here. We all benefit from them.

mikef · MIP Old Timer

In thought and prayer.................

chris · Senior Member

Hi 2015, I was always told that it's not how much or how often I drink, but what happens when I do drink. Good luck.

davep12and12 · MIP Old Timer

2015xx wrote:
"The How It Works seems positive. Do I have to believe in God to have success with this? I have very strong, Richard Dawkins-esque beliefs about God. That piece is a worry for me I must be honest."
No need to be concerned about that. There are lots of people who have gotten sober in AA without having a belief in any of the standard concepts of God. The important thing is that we recognize the fact that we have a problem running our lives based on our own knee-jerk, counterproductive, SELF-will, (a lot of us call it 'alcoholic self-will') and make a decision to try to seek out something, anything, that is better, saner, healthier, and more honest than the negative things that people like us tend to tell ourselves. That could be something that comes to a person via their chosen religious beliefs and practices, or it could be something that is readily observable all around us in basic 'spiritual principles' like honesty, openmindedness, willingness, and compassion, which are not contingent on a particular belief in God, but which can be a 'previously untapped inner resource'.
You don't have to figure out how the Universe works. You just have to stop trying to run it yourself, based on the kind of self-will that has gotten you where you are now. Does that help?
I also recommend you read the Appendix in the back of the AA Big Book about "The Spiritual Experience".
But don't worry about this stuff right now. The most important thing is to take the first actions and get to some AA meetings. That's where you will find some people who have been through this, and they will be more than happy to help you, just as others had helped them. That's how this works.

Yally · Newbie

Hi :)

Rambling Wreck · Newbie

Hi 2105xx- I am new to this journey and for what it is worth would offer the following brief snapshot of my own for you to "compare". I have drank socially for probably 30 years. Some of these were blackout drunk on big events like a home football game, new years eve, etc. Most of my drinking was just to "maintain" my anxiety which seemed to happen at any given time. This evolved over the last 15 or so years into what is a progressive disease- alcoholism. I always thought I had it under control and over the last 5 years (even though I did not lose my job, my family or get in trouble with the law) my maintenance included needing a drink to do just about anything. I started in the wee hours of the morning to "get me going" before my family awoke and then eventually it included going to my car at work breaks to calm myself.

This may or may not sound familiar but the point is that with progression of alcoholism there comes a time where bad things happen to most including long term health issues. To really check yourself at this stage is worth it's weight in gold. The old timers on this board are very wise and have helped more than you can count. I find that AA not only keeps me sober but is also a great lifetime guide that can enrich everything you do. Some folks have a longer road than others but one quote I like to hear when someone shows up late for an AA meeting and apologizes for being late is "the only meeting you are ever late for is your first one"

Good luck

Jerry F · MIP Old Timer

For me the greatest similarity twix your drinking and mine is that we both have problems and trouble as a result of the drinking. That was the simple answer I got when I first found recovery and the word "PROBLEMS" of course was understated until the fellowship could get me still and sit me down and then share their experiences with me as we do here at MIP. I know about anger and rage and alcohol as that was the biggest character defect I had because of drinking. I know why I got angry. I never liked to appear to being out of control of myself or any situation however rocket science...every time I drank I lost control and I fought like hell to get it back and not be accused of being an asshole. I even came across a very knowing message on a tee shirt here at home one afternoon that confirmed what I knew. It read "Instant Asshole...just add alcohol". I needed help also and to be able to get help I had to surrender control over my problem and ask for help from others and then sit humbly while they were trying to help/teach me. I hope it doesn't take you as long as it took me to find not even knowing what toxic shock was or that I was near death. I had to ask what you have asked here..."Need help"...actually I asked it this way, "Could you please help me"? That question using the word please was not even in my category, my ego and pride and need to be in control would not allow it.

So did you ask for help or just make a statement...there is a difference and when I understood the difference I learned a lot about the alcoholic that is me. "Could you help me please"? "You we talking about this thing called acceptance being the solution to all of your problems...can you tell me more about that"? Actual dialogue that save this alcoholic's life. Welcome to MIP and to the world wide fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous. No need to be anxious when you walk into a meeting we already know what its like, what had to happen and what it is like now. wink

hopefulone · Senior Member

I too started drinking like you did....not everyday or even a couple of times a week. But when I did drink, I drank to get drunk and had no control nor a desire to control my drinking. I believe this was binge drinking for me and I have read somewhere that it can be as dangerous, and sometimes more dangerous to drink this way, as everyday drinking. Over the years, the frequency I drank increased, and along with this, so did the amount I drank. AA saved me from myself and saved my life. I only wish I had realized that I had a problem years ago which actually started during my binge drinking days.
I wish you the best of luck. You're reaching out trying to get answers. That's a good thing.

recoveryrehab · Member

Thanks 2015xx and welcome

Going to an AA meeting doesn't make you an alcoholic

Your drinking makes you an alcoholic or not , and thats something only you can work out, and it may take a bit of time

Take time to find out what helps you and as important what doesn't help, but remember you're better off doing it sober rather than drinking !

Good luck