Amigo.. you frequent that awful restaurant called "The Past"...The only thing they serve there are thick slices of resentment..with a side order of self pity..topped with sweet and sour ego sauce...
You ALWAYS wind up with a case of spiritual diarrhea..and you "should" all over yourself..
When are you going to learn..STAY IN THE NOW...forget the future that Joint only serves FEAR and its very pricey..Beyond anyones means...Don't even think about going there.