It feels like it's been an awful long time since I contributed to this forum so I thought this morning I'd look around and see what's happening. I was surprised to find a post from 2012 resurrected. The one about the chip system. Well anyway here were are, last day of the year and in a couple days it'll be the 2nd January which marks the 9th anniversary of the start of the end of my old life. 9 years ago on that day I left the family home. I then spent the next ten months drinking myself crazy before I'd had enough and reached out for help. It took a few more weeks for me to accept what I'd asked for. The intervening years between then and now have seen me range from the highest highs to the soul sickness of suicide attempts. Through it all, one constant. Rooms full of brothers and sisters ready and willing to caution, to support, to kick arse and love better. It's a long learning journey that still goes on. I still make mistakes. I still get it wrong. Some people have been hurt by my words and deeds. I have hurt myself by my own words and deeds. I'm semi retired now and see that a measure of my self worth was my employment. I do a wee job for not much money but I enjoy myself. No pressure. My house is still a work in progress and this too is ok. There's no significant other in my life and hasn't been for a long time but I have close friends. People have left me, through their death, through their moving in a different direction.thats ok. My mum died and I still miss her but through it all I coped. Relying mainly on how much will this matter in a years time. A friend in the fellowship...Ok my sponsee ...said to me one day that I might like to learn to be indifferent. I tried it and it helps. Higher power...yep it's getting there and it's mine. I always struggled with higher power until I realised I needed to be indifferent to your concept of a higher power. It's yours, not mine. I am indifferent to yours god's and prophets, your books, bells and candles. YOU are welcome in my home. Walk gently through the world, know it's beauty, do no harm but take no shit.