This board played a big part of my initial foray into recovery. A huge part. I posted honestly about how I was doing, what was going on, and benefitted enormously from hearing people's experiences in response.
I've kind of dropped the ball on the honesty thing of late, and I want this board to be a part of my ongoing recovery. I had a slip about two months ago. A relatively minor slip, luckily, but still. I had stopped being honest, I was coasting in the program, and I'd drifted apart from my sponsor. I then found myself in a slippery place, and wasn't in a fit spiritual condition to deal with it.
As an alcoholic perfectionist I'm still dealing with some shame over it. A bruised ego, maybe. I haven't told many people. But here I am. Thanks for letting me share with you all.
RB don't be ashamed. It's what the disease wants and it will get you drunk. I felt the same way. You have nothing to be ashamed of what that your a drunk and you drank. Learn from it. Someday you will see how this experience can benefit others. It already is. All we really have is today anyhow. You still have all your experience. But don't beat yourself up. You don't owe anyone an explanation. That's between your HP and to be discussed with your sponser. Thanks for the honesty and share. Glad your still here.
Today, I was/am sober ... Today is the only Day that matters ... Yesterday is gone and cannot be changed ... we learn from it and press onward ... one Day at a time ... it's the only way this can work for me ... if you didn't drink Today, you're a success ... ... ... many of us have been where you are now, and guilt and shame are emotions that we used for our punishment ... it's over, let it go and get back to do'n what you know to be the next right thing to do ... love ya and God Bless, Pappy
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
You know what I like about your post besides your honesty RT.....Is you see what happened and you learned from it. That's progress no matter how you cut it. Onward we go RT....We need you here.
I love your honesty, RT. It reminded me of a certain someone back in 2001, except for the honesty part. That was something I had to learn over time, kind of like sobriety. I spent more time coming up with excuses, back when, than I did getting sober, and for good reason. To me, rigorous honesty meant coming clean, and that was something I could never do, ever.
The turning point in my sobriety may have come much, much later, but the struggles we all share never seem to dissipate -in spite of everything we have learned. It's just another chilling reminder in the frigid underground known as 'sobriety' universe. Besides, it keeps the grass on this side of the fence that much greener. I know it will for you.
Here's the bottom line: I got sober with the hopes of finding a way to live with myself, not because I expected it to solve my problems or anyone else's -for that matter. I can also accept another important truth; I can't drink responsibly even if I knew what responsibility meant. I can finally take a step back, breathe a sigh of relief, and let go of those urges once and for all. I need to remind myself: Life is way too short to ride fence line, and as long as I dwell on past mistakes I can't align myself with present truths. I am missing entirely the very thing I've come to enjoy, sobriety for all its worth. And that's something none of us can afford. I hope you agree. Onward.
-- Edited by Mr_David on Thursday 24th of July 2014 12:37:43 AM
