Coming up on 2 years! July 31. Wow, time flies. Life is good. I have a few questions for the more experienced. I have been going to less meetings lately because I was really busy with work. Now I have the summer off and find I just don't wanna go. I feel good. I still don't connect with anyone but my sponsor, well maybe one other person. Also, my sponsor forgot when my anniversary was and congratulated me in June ??? She also told me she would call me a few times and hasn't. She keeps promising we will get together to do step work and she is always busy. I am stuck on step 5 with her after nearly 2 years. ??? She knows I am around all day right now. I hardly hear from her, yet she is always talking about this great network of women in our area meetings. I am still alone, not to be confused with being lonely because I feel pretty good, not sure what to do.
BTW, it is nice to see familiar postees. I not been on in quite awhile, but hope I might get some feedback.
I have been going to less meetings lately because I was really busy with work. Now I have the summer off and find I just don't wanna go. I feel good.
I think that's real dangerous Kathy....Just being honest with you...I've seen the results of this...With people with 20 years. Not good.
She keeps promising we will get together to do step work and she is always busy. I am stuck on step 5 with her after nearly 2 years. ??? She knows I am around all day right now. I hardly hear from her, yet she is always talking about this great network of women in our area meetings. I am still alone, not to be confused with being lonely because I feel pretty good, not sure what to do.
My suggestion on this is a simple one. Get a new sponsor...Get moving on the rest of the steps....And get connected with some people that are living this program. It's good to see you....I know one thing about myself...I couldn't have held onto that fourth step for two years....I wouldn't have made it. I needed to unload it....Step five is where we do that. Freedom...
Welcomer and congratulations...There are many different thoughts from people on meetings after periods of time...This is something that was written somewhere....AA tells us the program of recovery is in the APPLICATION OF steps,daily ,in all areas of our lives worked with a sponsor.There are no fit all patterns for recovery..check out these writings,pray and continue instilling the Solution(especially our 3rd/11th STEPS,,keep this on me for my daily recovery)I also make many less meetings than I did early on,but I never stop doing the daily work,,Putting God(of my understanding)first in all things,application of the Program and reaching out to the best of my ability ,giving back the best way I can)
What is the long term goal in recovery?
In my opinion the answer is personal growth.
That is why anyone who is attending meetings on a regular basis but feels like they are stuck in a rut needs to take action in order to jump-start their recovery.
The point of recovery is not to abstain and sit in meetings all day. The point of recovery is to recover a life of purpose and meaningful growth. There is a tendency in AA to focus on one type of growth at the expense of all others. Spiritual growth is the only kind that matters in the program of AA.
But in real world recovery, there are huge benefits from looking into other types of personal growth. For example, exercise and physical fitness can have a huge, positive impact on recovery. The 12 step program does not acknowledge or admit this. It has no need to, because the solution in AA is narrowed down to spiritual growth.
The real solution is bigger than that; more powerful. Holistic growth is the key to a successful life in recovery, and it includes the idea of spiritual growth as well.
AA meetings are effective because they narrow the focus down so much and give concentrated help in one specific area. If you have two weeks of sobriety then you can get huge benefit from an AA meeting. But after two years or twenty years in recovery, are one hour meetings every day really giving you the exact help and guidance that you need to keep making forward progress in your life? Sure you can still get value from any AA meeting, but that is not the point. The point is, how are you spending your precious hours every day?
For people who have mastered the basics in recovery, sitting in a meeting every daybecomes an excuse for inaction. Your real priority in recovery should shift to one of personal growth. New goals should appear in your life or you should find more meaning and purpose in other ways. That is not to say that you *have* to leave AA as you move into long term recovery. It merely means that you need to make a conscious choice about how you are spending your time, and if the daily AA meeting is the best way for you keep growing in your recovery.
For some people, the daily meeting is a great way for them to experience growth. Maybe they actively sponsor people, chair meetings, get involved, make a real impact. But many people do not take it to that level, and instead just coast by, using daily meetings as a sort of life preserver to keep them sober. This is not real recovery and that is not real personal growth.
So yes, you CAN keep going to AA meetings in long term recovery. But dont do it because you NEED to in order to stay sober. If that is the case, your recovery needs work.
AA meetings are fine. But dependency on AA meetings is not good. Personal growth is the goal, not just stability.For me ,the only dependency I seek is the guidance and will of the God of my understanding,but that also includes making decisions and allowing God to take care of the results..
Again this is just one outlook from one person ,we all are responsible for our own recoveries.Pray hard and More is continually revealed..WE know ,we can never pick up that "first one" and WE know it is important to get into the "exact nature" od what goes on with us.WE have a process for that and WE do the work daily...
Go to meetings because you want to,,seek people in recovery and WE have found that those who valur sponsorship get the most oit of the program..The fellowship is there to allow you to be honest and to share your ESH helping not only yourself,but most likely others...Speak with your sponsor about your feelings and especially your God....Have a blessed and productive day.....This is my stuff ,shared from a perspective of another and by no means an all inclusive answer..Just For Today,,WE won't use alcohol(or any other mind altering ,mood changing substance) and apply the program solution in all areas of our lives(thats as parents,husbands,wives,brothers.sisters,friends etc) Great to hear from you....Peace ,continued grace and mercy and serenity in God's guidance..............
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Selfishness-self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles.
Just to clarify...I don't depend on meetings to remain sober. I go to meetings to share my ESH with the newcomer. Like the ones that were there for me when I crawled in there. To carry the message is a major part of my step work....What better place to do it than a meeting?
I do believe...
Meeting makers make meetings...Step takers recover.
Wow what great responses. Thank you so much. The main thing I hear from both of you is steps lead to recovery. Action leads to recovery. It is interesting what you say Mike. I do not feel like I need the meeting to stay sober. It does feel like others need it as a life preserver. I am not judging either. My first year was almost a meeting everyday. You make a good point though, what other areas of my life am I growing and recovering. It is not just meetings. It goes much further than that. I needed to hear that. I have to say life it just starting to get back on track. I pray every morning and meditate, but I can still do many other things in life and recovery. This is not my excuse not to go to meetings either. I will be at my steady Thursday night this week. :)
As for the sponsor thing I think I will just call her and see what's up for now.
I am new here, but I have 16 months in, one day at a time. I find that when I'm feeling good? and don't feel like going to meetings? That's the time I have to keep going. My sponsor tells me that after one year, that I get feeling too good and start resting on my laurels? That eventually I'll get drunk. I believe that to be true.
I go to a Big Book study...We read this at the end of every meeting. I think it should be read at the end of more meetings.
Declaration of Unity
This we owe to A.A.'s future: To place our common welfare first; To keep our fellowship united. For on A.A. unity depend our lives, And the lives of those to come.
There are times I don't "feel" like going to meetings, I just go. In fact, I think someone else said it, when I don't feel like going I usually get myself there. And usually I'm glad I did and the program grows deeper. I might even suggest you offer to chair or some other service commitment to get into the program a bit more. That helped me feel more a part of. Get phone numbers and call others. My sponsor called it the fifty ton phone because its so hard for us to reach out. Where I live we have whats called worksheet talks. Early on, my sponsor gave me a list of men and women with good sobriety to personally tell me their story -- this personal connection made it easier to call people. It took me a long time to connect with others but in hind sight, I was not giving out any indication that I wanted to connect - I wanted them to connect with me. As for the sponsor thing, I've learned that my recovery is my responsibility. You have a couple of options. you can call your sponsor and ask for time to get together to work on a step, take the initiative & see how she responds OR you can get another sponsor. My 2-cents of Experience. Glad you reached out and asked,
Jan
p.s. Congrats on two years!
-- Edited by yogajan on Wednesday 9th of July 2014 03:56:41 PM
Of course one really good way to take our personal growth and our recovery from alcoholism to the next level is to start sponsoring someone else, and pass on what has been given to us. I have always found it to be very rewarding.
And a good place to find people to sponsor would be in a meeting.
And I have found that there's nothing that will get me to move forward in my own step work better than getting a sponsee. I don't want them to 'catch up with me' and get to a point where I don't have any experience with the step they are now working on.
-- Edited by davep12and12 on Wednesday 9th of July 2014 04:03:11 PM
-- Edited by davep12and12 on Wednesday 9th of July 2014 06:47:53 PM
I think meetings are an important part of recovery and growth.
Meetings alone won't keep one sober. But meetings are where I hear other people talk about their gratitude, the steps they're working, the God they are praying to, the things they do every night before sleep and what they do upon awakening in the morning. They talk about their service work, and maybe about a sponsorship situation. Or problems with work, or people, or things. And hearing those things makes me assess what I am currently doing or not doing and whether I better put some additional effort into using the tools of the program.
Meetings are also a great way to work the 12th step. Maybe some of those people at the meeting need you to be there.
Thanks Jan: I just text my sponsor for a solid day to get together and she responded immediately. I will see her at a meeting tonight and set aside time to meet.
Meetings reinforce the lifestyle we learn through the steps....They promote AA values and contribute to unity and singleness of purpose. I would get a new sponsor and work the steps though. That is what I had to do. I don't rely on meetings to stay sober either, but I know if I skip them completely, I won't have an AA support network anymore when the sh#t hits the fan.
So - Yes, I believe "meeting makers make it" is a good saying to an extent. Step takers recovery is also valid. Neither needs to come at the expense of the other.
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Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
I just text my sponsor for a solid day to get together and she responded immediately. I will see her at a meeting tonight and set aside time to meet.
I'm very happy to hear that mich...These are the fifth step promises...I can't see any reason why a sponsor would not want you to experience these ASAP....
We pocket our pride and go to it, illuminating every twist of character, every dark cranny of the past. Once we have taken this step, withholding nothing, we are delighted. We can look the world in the eye. We can be alone at perfect peace and ease. Our fears fall from us. We begin to feel the nearness of our Creator. We may have had certain spiritual beliefs, but now we begin to have a spiritual experience. The feeling that the drink problem has disappeared will often come strongly. We feel we are on the Broad Highway, walking hand in hand with the Spirit of the Universe.
BB pg 75
In the meantime I'd suggest you go over the directions for steps 6 and 7....Those two you can move along with after your fifth....And get going with the amends phase...Steps 8 and 9 with your sponsor's guidance.....Where more great promises start to happen....Good to see you moving forward mich...You won't regret it. It will change your life.
Congrats on 2 years Kathy! Meetings for me is one of many parts to Recovery. I know when I get off track with them I suffer. Meetings are a place to hit all three area's- Unity, Service and Recovery.
PC had a great point- Meetings reinforce the lifestyle we learn through the steps....They promote AA values and contribute to unity and singleness of purpose. I like this! Second to this.
Sponsors carry the message, not the Alcoholic! I learned I had to take action on my recovery. Be pro-active with my Sponsor and not wait for his call. Good Sponsors are busy, but will take the time to work with those who show a consistent willingness and enthusiam to take action. Sorta like the squeeky wheel gets the greaze.
Two years is a great achievement. Thats the important thing as long as you are happy. Life still has alot to offer you. You'll meet new ones. Congratulation! High five.
