I mentioned the other day in my first post since returning, that I had just come from the doctors with a host of new diagnosis's. The truth is, there are some serious things wrong. But here's the thing:
The pain level is the same as it was last week.
The weakness is the same as it was last week.
The fatigue is the same as it was last week.
The only difference is that today I know. That's a good thing.
So I called Social Security Disability today to update my claim and they told me that they denied me and I didn't respond to their denial notice with an appeal so they closed my case back in December. All the back pay I was expecting when I did get approved is now gone. They suggested that I start over. But here's the thing:
My claim was denied back in December; I simply didn't know.
The back pay has been gone for months; I simply didn't know.
The only difference is that today I know. That's a good thing.
It's funny how the word 'disillusion' is considered a negative word - as in, "Oh you poor dear, that must have been a disillusioning experience for you." It means the loss of illusion. How many times have I clung to my illusions to my detriment? The idea that someday, if I only found the right recipe, I could drink like normal folks was an illusion. How many times have my illusions served me well? I've been keeping track and so far I'm up to zero. Anywho, just having a fine day and thought I'd share. I'll get back to you all down the line and tell you how my HP straightened this out.
Great post, Angell..
I hope I am able to have that kind of thinking about things as you do. Very inspirational to me.
(Sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly....I am the "slowly" kind of gal).
