To speak ill of others is a dishonest way of praising ourselves. --Will Durant
Sometimes we say bad things about others. When we do this, it makes us look bad too. Our friends worry what we might say about them behind their backs. They're afraid to trust us. We become known as gossips.
The things we say about other people tell a lot about us. We are kind or unkind. We gossip or we don't. This doesn't mean we have to say everyone is wonderful all the time. As we work our program to see ourselves better, we begin to see other people more clearly too. We see their strong points and their weak points. But we can know these things without gossiping about them.
Prayer for the Day
Higher Power, help me see others clearly, and in their best light. Let me bring out the good in others.
__________________
'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Super post, thanks Pappy. I do still have a problem trusting others because of unkind/untrue things said about me in the past......especially by women. I have learned by being hurt so many times to isolate myself and have turned down invitations to get to know others better because I was afraid of opening up to them and divulging more than I should only to have them share more of me to others, or to twist things around and use my words against me. My best friend several years ago who I trusted more than anyone, and told her something very personal about me, told another friend of hers and that friend came to me and let me know she had shared it. I was devastated. I have not been able to have as much trust in another woman since then. (That happened years ago and was on my resentment list.) The funny thing about me is even when I know I have been the one wronged, I have ended up apologizing to the other person because I have expressed my hurt and disappointment and caused the other person to get defensive, lie about what they did and get mad at me. I have always hated people to be mad at me, and so I say I am sorry to "make peace". It is like I have been untrue to myself.
I am hoping in time to be better about knowing who I can trust and who I cannot. I tend to go by "fooled me once, shame on you. Fooled me twice shame on me" and not give too many second chances to others. I am not mean to a person who does this, as that requires more effort for me to be that way, than to be "cordial". However, I do put a lock and key on my mouth around that person and talk about ordinary things like the weather or things which would be hard to make something out of nothing. I know that may come across as paranoid. I walked away from an AA'er who had the need to share with me about another members breakup with another one in the rooms and they were dating someone else in AA. That conversation had nothing to do with me at all. This woman had shared something about me to another in my earlier days of sobriety and I was already on guard. I didn't want her to have the opportunity to spread gossip about others to me, so I politely excused myself while she was in mid-sentence and walked away.
Thanks again, Pappy. You brought up some "stuff" in my mind when you posted this one.
