Well I've had a good past two days. But now it seems the funk wants to come creeping in. This means more meetings, more praying, reaching out to people and trusting in God that he has a plan for me as well as my family. Need to keep my God glasses on and not let this disease that centers on the mind start kicking my ass. My sponser tells me a mind is a terrible thing to waste and we alcoholics waste none of it. I still wish I was never a alcoholic but maybe someday I will feel different. I'm still waiting for the miracle to happen and practicing not living in self centered fear. I give it all to God to remove it. What a blessing but not always easy.
Thta's pretty normal when we lay down the drink Enigma. They tell us in the book that alcohol is just a symptom of our problem. That funk is another one. I'll tell you what worked for me to speed up that miracle happening process. I read the book till I understood what I had to do...The steps. I found a sponsor and told him I'm ready to go. And off we went. I heard once that when newcpmers used to ask in AA....When should I start the steps?....The answer would be.....When do you want to get better?....You want to get better now?....Start the steps now. You want to get better later? Start the steps later....But you'll probably end up drinking. From what I've seen....This is true.
In case you are wondering about that funk. Here is where it is described in the book. When he says "Men and women drink..." He's talking about alcoholic men and women.
Men and women drink essentially because they like the effect produced by alcohol. The sensation is so elusive that, while they admit it is injurious, they cannot after a time differentiate the true from the false. To them, their alcoholic life seems the only normal one. They are restless, irritable and discontented, unless they can again experience the sense of ease and comfort which comes at once by taking a few drinks-drinks which they see others taking with impunity. After they have succumbed to the desire again, as so many do, and the phenomenon of craving develops, they pass through the well-known stages of a spree, emerging remorseful, with a firm resolution not to drink again. This is repeated over and over, and unless this person can experience an entire psychic change there is very little hope of his recovery. On the other hand-and strange as this may seem to those who do not understand-once a psychic change has occurred, the very same person who seemed doomed, who had so many problems he despaired of ever solving them, suddenly finds himself easily able to control his desire for alcohol, the only effort necessary being that required to follow a few simple rules.
The Doctor's Opinion
That funk....Is being restless, irritable and discontented. It's the natural state of the alcoholic....Without alcohol. Those few simple rules....Are the steps.
I too was in a funk for a good while into my recovery. I put off getting a sponsor and home group although there were plenty of AA'ers who advised me to not wait. It wasn't until I finally did get a sponsor and starting working on the steps that I felt alot better. Good for you that you do have a sponsor. You are still so early in recovery that I think it is normal to feel like you do to a certain degree while your body is getting used to not having the alcohol in your system. The steps are helping me work on my thinking and behavior patterns. I know I can go a while without drinking, however, it was my sick thinking which led to my drinking, and will do so again if I don't make important changes to it. Stepchild is a great person to know on this board. He has really helped me in my recovery and I am very grateful to him. BTY
-- Edited by betterthanyesterday52 on Thursday 10th of April 2014 09:07:24 AM
I'm almost 18 months sober work the steps. This seperation has just got me down. I'm grieving and have to go through the pain to grow. Trim the dead wood so the tree can have new growth. Love the support.
Yes.. the feelings and emotions you are feeling? are normal..re the situation youre in...Been there..Not easy...
I found I wanted everything to happen right now...and sometimes I tried to rush it.... Patience was a BIGGY...Something that THIS alky is sometimes not great with...
I'd try to rush it and make it happen...and when I did? I F....d it up severely...
Hang tough! Take care of number one! and keep looking up
Hi Enigma, nice to have you here! Dealing with a separation can be tough on anyone. Sometimes God adds by subtraction. He removes things in our lifes that aren't working to make room for new things. The time in between is what sucks. It's like the saying: " when one door closes, another door opens. It's the standing in the hallway that sucks". Spending time there right now. Been divorced for 2 years.
Also, one of The Promises is: God will do for us what we cannot do for ourselves. I have a quote I'd like to share- God often removes a person from our life for our protection. Think about that before you go running after them. It sounds like the funk is lack of hope. Hope is acquired through faith. Seems like you're doing all the rights things at the moment. When I get into a funk- I throw The Program at it.Recovery can be like a roller coaster at times. The peaks and valleys have one common denominator- they're temporary. Hold on an embrace the good and let go of the bad- even if it's a little at a time. Pain can and will happen, suffering is optional. Thank you for helping me today.
Wish I'd have said what Mike B said ... ... ... good post ... thanks, this has helped me today too, for sure ...
When the funk visits me, I have to get my mind on something else, cause left to think for itself, I get in trouble every time ... when all else fails, I try to think of what I can do for someone else without them knowing it ... that'll get rid of the 'funk' in no time flat ...
__________________
'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Thx for the ESH. It's a tough pill to swallow when just being in the other parties presence causes them great suffering. Can't stand this disease but it is still mine. I know all to well about trying to force it to happen and F.....n it up. That's why I'm in my presant situation to begin with worn out all my chances.
I understand completely. The last five years of my drinking were no different. It became some of the worst days, ever. How bad was it? It got so bad that my wife packed up her things and left, without letting me know. In fact, I could not even remember my son's birthday let alone my last meal. It was that bad.
I had a cooler in the car, a fridge in my office, another one in the garage, and a bottle hidden under my workbench. I think you get the idea. Turns out, I get a lot more done two handed.
Sometimes I get into this funk where everything seems so uninspiring, but eventually it gets exciting again.
I read somewhere that "boredom is an internal conviction that is hard to change". How true. I guess it's no coincidence that addiction to alcohol comes easy. Strange how that goes.
I hope you find a happy medium.
-- Edited by Mr_David on Monday 21st of April 2014 02:18:14 AM
