This is not a deep philosophical insight by any means, but this morning as I was getting ready for work it really hit me that at no point in the course of my life have I ever woken up sober and regretted avoiding alcohol the night before. I've never rolled over in bed, bright-eyed and awake, and wished that I had had seven or eight beers the night before so that I could feel more exhausted. I have never woken up next to my contentedly-sleeping wife and thought to myself: "Dammit Adam. This is the last time. The last time. From now on, you're going to fight before bed and black out so that you don't remember how it ended." I have never slept fully through the night with pleasant dreams and in the morning wished to the depths of my heart that I would have stayed up half the night torturing myself while half-drunk, thinking of every bad thing I have ever done. Nope. Not once have I had a conversation with another AA and in the morning wondered what the hell I said to them and what secrets I could have possibly divulged. Most importantly, I have never woken up sober, crawled to my knees, and prayed to God to help me drink more alcohol. Realizations like that one make me fully understand how serious of an illness alcoholism really is. I'm grateful for this program.

-Adam

-- Edited by AdamMoz on Friday 28th of March 2014 06:53:53 AM