Today is day 6 for me. I don't feel as awful as the first few days. I just feel weird and completely out of sorts. And my timing isn't great, but I guess there is never a "convenient" time to get sober.
I am from NYC and started on Tuesday. Yesterday I had to fly to Arizona for five days for work. I am alone in a big hotel room (thankfully no minibar, but still a big bar downstairs and wine in the gift shop as well). I made it through last night okay. I mainly felt weird.
What the hell do you do in a hotel if you don't drink? I'd usually go to the bar and drink and talk to the bartender, other travelers etc. Or drink wine in my room and watch tv and work.
I was tired last night so while I felt very strange and awkward, I was able to get to bed pretty early to avoid it all. But it's like without alcohol I feel bored. Probably because I wasn't doing anything interesting when I was drinking...
Tonight I have "off" from work after 5:30. I am trying to find a meeting through intergroup, but only have a shuttle bus within a two mile radius of my hotel. I am scared to get a ride from a stranger, even if they are in AA.
Then Tuesday and Wednesday I am supposed to have dinner with work people both nights. They all drink pretty heavily except one who does not drink at all. I am going to sit by him, but I am pretty sure I will get questions about it. At the very least they will think I'm pregnant because they know I like my wine, though have never gotten in any sort of trouble, that they know of.
I figure I can tell them I'm on antibiotics if anyone says anything, but I'm just really stressed to be around people who are drinking. I have to go. We only meet up twice a year and there are eight of us so skipping would be noticed and frowned upon.
Just feeling alone and invisible here, which is not great.
Today is day 6 for me. I don't feel as awful as the first few days. I just feel weird and completely out of sorts. And my timing isn't great, but I guess there is never a "convenient" time to get sober.
I am from NYC and started on Tuesday. Yesterday I had to fly to Arizona for five days for work. I am alone in a big hotel room (thankfully no minibar, but still a big bar downstairs and wine in the gift shop as well). I made it through last night okay. I mainly felt weird.
What the hell do you do in a hotel if you don't drink? I'd usually go to the bar and drink and talk to the bartender, other travelers etc. Or drink wine in my room and watch tv and work.
I was tired last night so while I felt very strange and awkward, I was able to get to bed pretty early to avoid it all. But it's like without alcohol I feel bored. Probably because I wasn't doing anything interesting when I was drinking...
Tonight I have "off" from work after 5:30. I am trying to find a meeting through intergroup, but only have a shuttle bus within a two mile radius of my hotel. I am scared to get a ride from a stranger, even if they are in AA.
Then Tuesday and Wednesday I am supposed to have dinner with work people both nights. They all drink pretty heavily except one who does not drink at all. I am going to sit by him, but I am pretty sure I will get questions about it. At the very least they will think I'm pregnant because they know I like my wine, though have never gotten in any sort of trouble, that they know of.
I figure I can tell them I'm on antibiotics if anyone says anything, but I'm just really stressed to be around people who are drinking. I have to go. We only meet up twice a year and there are eight of us so skipping would be noticed and frowned upon.
Just feeling alone and invisible here, which is not great.
Thanks to any who answer.
Hello:
I would be more afraid of drinking than riding with an AA member. Call the AA number in the phone book and ask to talk to one of the girls.
This is an excellent time to get down on your knees and ask God what you should do. Ask God to put your priorities in order.
Ask God to help you see solutions rather than problems.
AA tables (recovery) for me is a lot like sitting down at a poker table. The first thing I have to decide is "Am I in or am I out".
Good morning. You didn't say if you went to any meetings before youy headed out, but hopefully you did and you brought along some numbers. If you diid, use them. Do you have a book? Looks like you joined this site a few years back, but haven't been on for a while. So you know about the book Stepchild's refering to. You can find it online, just google it. I don't know how to post links, but maybe someone else who sees this psot can help with the exact link. I also used my time in hotel rooms to drink. Usually my husband wasn't with me and I could drink to my hearts content. Problem was, I was never got to the point of my hearts content, no matter how much I drank. These days I make use of the hotel pool and exercise room, go for walks, and listen to speaker tapes if I can't get to meetings, as well as read that book. I call people in my sober circle, and I have conversations with my higher power. As for social situations, I always have a glass of water with lemon or club soda with lime at the ready. Most people don't ask me if I drink, and if they do, I simply reply I have a drink, or "No". No need for lengthy explanations or excuses. Sitting next to the non drinker is a good idea, and for all you know, he may be in the program too. Intergroup can help with a ride, and if you're anxious, ask them if there is a female available. And if that option fails, take a cab to a meeting. If the liquor store was more than 2 miles out and your only option to get your wine, would you have taken a cab to get it? I needed to be willing to go to any lengths to get and stay sober. Are you willing? Good luck and Welcome Back. Hope you keep us updated on how it goes. (((hugs)))
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I asked God for all things that I may enjoy life. He gave me life so that I may enjoy all things.
Traveling for work in early sobriety can be a big change from the way it used to be. I think its great that you came to this board to talk about it. I am heading off to Baltimore next week, currently I am a little over 4 months sober. The opening night is a big wine and cheese, then typically we'd be hanging out in the bar "networking" after, and this will go on for a few days. I go to AA meetings daily, which is what I need to do in early sobriety. I am not worried about this trip because of how I have been working my program. Do you have some phone numbers you could use when your feeling bored? Just saying hi to another alcoholic can really help change your mood and get you out of your head for a few minutes.
I am looking forward to being able to get up a little early each day to take a nice walk around the city. (NYC to Arizona - I hope you can enjoy the weather while your there) I'll also try and hit a meeting one of the nights. I know it can be scarey getting a ride from someone you don't know, but AA is the only place that I have really felt very comfortable around everyone. We're all fighting the same battle.
I too felt bored and had forgotten that there is much more to life than booze. I lost all interest in everything and had little hope of getting it back. Those interests are starting to come back.
Good luck, you don't need to worry about needing a drink, as long as you stay away from the first one!
(((((whitewineoh))))) Congratulations on your 6th Day of Sober Living!!! That is really exciting and you should reach all the way around you as far as you can and give yourself the biggest hug for staying sober this long. It sounds like you are taking your sobriety very seriously even though you are dealing with challenging circumstances. You can do this! You have already looked into going to an AA meeting and the suggestion made above about contacting an intergroup is a great one. I too would be more scared of taking a drink than accepting a ride from another AA'er. Just make sure it is a woman and it would be good to talk on the phone and if at all possible, to meet somewhere in the lobby or perhaps a coffee place your shuttle goes to and have a chat with her before the meeting if you do get a ride. Have you spoken to someone in the hotel who can suggest things in the area--sites, museums, local shopping malls, boutiques, a library (great place to read the Big Book or other AA related material). I am not sure who your Higher Power is. If it is God, then they usually have a Bible in one of the drawers there to read to give you some extra strength. I have prayed the Serenity Prayer, "God Grant Me the Courage to Accept the Things I Cannot Change, The Courage to Change the Things I Can and the Wisdom to Know the Difference." I also have found helpful to thank my HP (who is God) everyday for keeping me sober yesterday and I ask Him to please keep me sober today. It is a true test of your strength to be around anyone who is drinking right now. I have avoided doing that, however, it doesn't sound like that is an option for you during this time. I think your plan to sit beside the non-drinker is an excellent one. Maybe order a flavored or plain seltzer water, this is not so you will appear to be drinking in others' eyes, as much as it is drink something a little special and I drink seltzer water everyday mixed with cranberry, orange or other juices as well as herbal teas which are very relaxing to me. I hope that you don't feel any embarrassment whatsoever for choosing not to drink while those around you do. This is a life-saving choice you have made and you shouldn't feel you owe anyone any explanation or have any fears in that respect about not drinking. It is all good and I hope that you feel only positive emotions for doing so. My thoughts will be with you and I hope that you do come back and post again soon. BTY
Start with the Foreward and The Doctor's Opinion. Hang out here if you get Antsy....And ask a power greater than yourself....To keep you away from that first drink...That's the one that kills us.
I like what Nezyb had to say ... you've been around for a long time and you must know by now what the AA way of life is about ... you know what to do and NOT do ... the question is whether you suffered enough because of drinking or do you feel the need to continue the pain and loneliness ... your choice ... the 'solution' is within your grasp, but you must 'want' it ... ... ...
All the reply post are good, thanks ... ... ...
Love ya and God Bless, Pappy
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
I did not end up getting to a meeting, as I had one planned, but our work meetings went over, and the next one is too late for me with my jet lag. I do have a copy of the book on my phone, so that's an idea.
Where can one get speaker tapes?
I don't really have a sober social circle yet. I have the number of one girl. My first time around years ago I only made it 56 days and then went into denial thinking I didn't really have a problem. This time, I actually went in right after my S.O. got a DUI last week. That was his bottom, and it just sort of snapped me out of my denial. It seemed like a good chance for me to go back, and this way we can support each other, rather than enable each other. But I want to make sure we both get our own support systems so that we don't get codependent. We need others.
However, for the first few days, I was just "not drinking", not in AA. I went with him for support. But then I owned up and admitted I was an alcoholic and have tried to go to meetings every day since.
This week is going to be hard because after today, I am pretty much scheduled all day. But at least that doesn't leave me time to drink. I will read the book, but do you know where I could get speaker tapes? That would be great.
You might want to start with Joe and Charlie....You can learn a lot from them. Just type Joe and Charlie in the search box. You can go through the book with them by chapter...And the steps....Good stuff.
(((((whitewineoh))))) Congratulations on your 6th Day of Sober Living!!! That is really exciting and you should reach all the way around you as far as you can and give yourself the biggest hug for staying sober this long. It sounds like you are taking your sobriety very seriously even though you are dealing with challenging circumstances. You can do this! You have already looked into going to an AA meeting and the suggestion made above about contacting an intergroup is a great one. I too would be more scared of taking a drink than accepting a ride from another AA'er. Just make sure it is a woman and it would be good to talk on the phone and if at all possible, to meet somewhere in the lobby or perhaps a coffee place your shuttle goes to and have a chat with her before the meeting if you do get a ride. Have you spoken to someone in the hotel who can suggest things in the area--sites, museums, local shopping malls, boutiques, a library (great place to read the Big Book or other AA related material). I am not sure who your Higher Power is. If it is God, then they usually have a Bible in one of the drawers there to read to give you some extra strength. I have prayed the Serenity Prayer, "God Grant Me the Courage to Accept the Things I Cannot Change, The Courage to Change the Things I Can and the Wisdom to Know the Difference." I also have found helpful to thank my HP (who is God) everyday for keeping me sober yesterday and I ask Him to please keep me sober today. It is a true test of your strength to be around anyone who is drinking right now. I have avoided doing that, however, it doesn't sound like that is an option for you during this time. I think your plan to sit beside the non-drinker is an excellent one. Maybe order a flavored or plain seltzer water, this is not so you will appear to be drinking in others' eyes, as much as it is drink something a little special and I drink seltzer water everyday mixed with cranberry, orange or other juices as well as herbal teas which are very relaxing to me. I hope that you don't feel any embarrassment whatsoever for choosing not to drink while those around you do. This is a life-saving choice you have made and you shouldn't feel you owe anyone any explanation or have any fears in that respect about not drinking. It is all good and I hope that you feel only positive emotions for doing so. My thoughts will be with you and I hope that you do come back and post again soon. BTY
Thanks, Good luck on your trip!
It has gone pretty well today except for a few minutes ago. The women traveled together and we just got back to the hotel. They had decided to go to a wine bar for dinner. I said I was too tired from the time difference. We were in the lobby trying to arrange a shuttle for the morning, and one of them said, "Hey, does anyone want to grab a quick drink at the bar before we go to dinner?" They all said, "Yeah!!!" and ran off. I was left standing there wondering when we are leaving in the morning.
I don't feel that jealous of the alcohol they're having, oddly enough. A little bit with the wine, but nothing terrible. But I feel bummed about missing the social aspect. I am sure I might be able to do it well in the future with more sobriety under my belt and a meeting that day, but today I just couldn't do it.
Thanks so much! I will download the ones you suggested right away. This is just what I need tonight in a pinch. That and the support you have all shown me is so helpful.
Congrats on 6 days. If it gets too challenging, get to that meeting regardless. I have had fun going to AA meetings in other towns. As far as excuses for not drinking, nobody cares as much as you think. You could say "I'm tired of being a lush and booze is killing me" or "I'm in AA now." That pretty much stopped any questions for me and I surrendered so fully I didn't care what they thought about me being in recovery. Being a drunk is a liability. Being in recovery is not.
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