I am new to this group and the road to sobriety in general-this is day 1. I have been trying on my own and have failed so I am starting to reach out. I am not ready to go to a local meeting yet. I am a 37 year old single mom of 3 wonderful children. I have been in a serious relationship with a great man for the past 10 months. I know my relationships with them will improve when I stop drinking. Please share with me what has helped you.
Hi Brandy and welcome to this board! I love this place because it has really helped me stay sober. As there are many informative sober people who have all shared how they have stayed sober one day at a time right here on this board. There surely is lots of love here. I will have to say that I was just like you and too scared to go to AA meetings. I did finally overcome that fear by taking those steps into an AA meeting which has had the most impact on my sobriety. I thought I was so alone, so different. I felt overwhelmed and such a loser. I listened to others share their stories. I watched their faces as they told them--so much emotion and honesty--it was like I could see their pain when they told of what it was like while they were drinking be replaced by happiness and peace when they explained how it is now that they are sober. I realized after a while I wasn't all that different. So many many people were telling my story. Most everyone I have heard has shared how they were scared to attend meetings and had to overcome their fear. They said they felt all alone and different and quite a few said they felt like a loser. These people were recovering alcoholics and I thought to myself if they were able to stop drinking, having many of the same perceptions and fears I had experienced for years, then maybe I could too. I don't think I could have ever quit for this long, nor have I been able to in the past, without the love and fellowship of AA. I hope you come back and let us know how you are doing. Believe me when I say, there is nothing to fear except yourself, as you are the only one keeping yourself from finding out how wonderful a life you can have once you are sober. And yes, your family life and other relationships which mean so much to you can only improve once you choose this way of life. (((((Brandy)))))
That is so wonderful!!!! It brought tears to my eyes when I read that you were going to a meeting! You have decided to make the most important decision you probably will make in your whole life! You can only go now, Brandy. Your meeting should have a Where and When AA book. It has the meeting times and places in your area. There is other important info it from the Big Book, and an area in the back for female members who are in the program to write their names and phone numbers. At some of the meetings I have been to, one of these is passed around during the meeting and people with some sobriety time under their belt will write their names in it and they give them to new members. Not at every one though. They usually have this and other AA literature near the coffee pot in our meetings. They also should have Big Books for sale there which will help you on this exciting and important journey you have decided to take. There is no greater change you can make which have the most positive influence not only on your life, but your family as well. I know this first hand. Had I chosen to get and stay sober, I would not have lost some of my family members as well as friends. My daughter has not wanted to see me for almost six years now. She has started corresponding with me through emails and I am grateful for that. That is because I have been sober and a part of AA. I tried to get and stay sober several times on my own. It just didn't work.
Oh, I wish I was going to be in that room so I could give you a big hug and let you know everything is going to be alright!
Thank you for the kind words. I did go to my first meeting and heard all kinds of wonderful stories that were like my own. I enjoyed it and will be going back tomorrow. I did receive a Big Book, a welcome packet with the ladies names and numbers on it as well as a 24 hour desire chip! I need this group. I know that I cannot do this on my own.
I am so glad you went to a meeting! Wow! Now that is what I call being active! I started to mention the first day chip; however, I have heard on this board about meetings not handing out chips and was hoping that your meeting would do that. Before long, you will feel like you are more "at home" when you go to meetings. If you choose to attend different ones in your area eventually you may find one which you decide you want to make your Home Group. I waited too long before I joined mine, however, am so glad that I did. Your recognition that you cannot do this on your own is HUGE and will only help you in recovery. I was in denial so long that I had given up that I was "helpable". One of the ladies who was at your meeting may have suggested that if you have the desire to drink to call them. I had a problem with doing this early on, unfortunately, because I had a thing about feeling like I was imposing or "bothering" people. That was my alcoholic mind telling me that and had I not listened to it and called when I wanted to drink, perhaps I would have been able to maintain my sobriety, instead of thinking I could handle it. Now when I give my number to newcomers, I am very concerned about them and want them to feel free to call me anytime night or day if they have a problem with staying sober. I think most of the people in AA feel that way. We all want one another to be successful in AA and we all want one another to live longer. Please feel free to Private Message me on this board if you ever want to "chat". Pat yourself on the back, Brandy! And congratulations to you!
Again, thank you for your kind words. The ladies did come up to me and offer help when I get the urge to drink and I did feel like that would be an imposition but know that I will do it. I know that I cannot do this alone-my actions have proven this over and over again and I am not getting any better. I am going to focus on one day at a time and I have already marked the closest AA meeting to my house so that, in the event of an "emergency" I know where to go!
BTY is totally right! There is a lot of love and a lot of help here on this board. The people here are very good people. You'll find the same kind of folks in your local A.A. meetings. Listen, learn, and share with honesty. Blessings, Mike D.
Brandy, It sounds like you have a plan of action and you are on your way to living a great and wonderful life. And I am so glad your boyfriend is excited for you. I can tell you, I don't miss drinking now and I used to think I would never be able to live without it. I feel more inner peace and stronger than I have felt in years. I too, felt guilty all the time about drinking and wanted to stop. It wasn't until I stopped believing those voices in my head which told me I didn't need help, and I finally got into AA and was serious (this time) about quitting, that I was able to. It is like a miracle, because while my own belief system had failed me -- AA saved me. I love life and living now!
now, Brandy. Your meeting should have a Where and When AA book. It has the meeting times and places in your area. There is other important info it from the Big Book, and an area in the back for female members who are in the program to write their names and phone numbers. At some of the meetings I have been to, one of these is passed around during the meeting and people with some sobriety time under their belt will write their names in it and they give them to new members. Not at every one though. They usually have this and other AA literature near the coffee pot in our meetings. They also should have Big Books for sale there which will help you on this exciting and important journey you have decided to take. There is no greater change you can make which have the most positive influence not only on your life, but your family as well. I know this first hand. Had I chosen to get and stay sober, I would not have lost some of my family members as well as friends. My daughter has not wanted to see me for almost six years now. She has started corresponding with me through emails and I am grateful for that. That is because I have been sober and a part of AA. I tried to get and stay sober several times on my own. It just didn't work.