This is my first time in this forum. And I needed to get support to return to AA. I was sober for eight months, and they were the best eight months in a long time. I was doing okay until I took an 11 day trip to Disney World with my girlfriend and her two kids.
The vacation was going well, until one of the teenaged special kids was acting out. I had enough and I took back my will and got drunk. Since then it's been a steady downward spiral, and I am now back to where I started from before I got sober. I am dying to go back to AA and start over, but am embarrassed to have to say I slipped. I also feel ashamed that I threw out all that time. The saying, "It's easier to stay sober than to get sober" has become my slogan. I'd just ask that everyone prays that I make it back soon. Thanks.
First of all, you are here, reaching out that is the MAIN thing, going back to a meeting is a matter of getting in car, driving to the meeting, going in and saying what you just wrote.
I was a chronic Relapser in this Program, so I can identify with the feelings you described, but feelings pass, and turn into different feelings.
Gorsky has a great book on Relapse Prevention you can purchase on this site in the book store.
Other Alcoholics in any meeting you might go to, guarantee you there are people in that room that have been in your shoes, and can offer help to you,
Gorsky book takes the shame right of the Relapse, by describing it as only a symtom of the Disease. i believe that to be true.
I personally can tell you that those 10+ years of Relapsing has now turned into a firm foundation of my Recovery that has endured many more years now that 10+.
So God Bless for reaching out, there are a lot of good men in this Program that can offer you some immediate assistance.
I am sure that you will get the help you need right now, right here. So stay and read some of the Responses.
My best to you today, and I am going to light- heartedly contradict your statement. I think it is easier to stay sober, once you have struggled with a Relapse. Just my take.
And you know what they say in this Program, take what you want, and leave the rest.
God's Speed in you returning to a happy sober life.
Hi Rob and welcome. I'm so glad that you are here.
Hey man, stuff happens. We're only human. Just do the next right thing.
There's NO embarrasment or shame in going back, that would come with NOT going back. Believe me your fellow AA's will be delighted to see you. There are so many who never make it back.
Grit your teeth and DO IT! or maybe there's someone you can call to go with you. What about your sponsor. I'm sure your sponsor would be THRILLED to hear from you.
You're in my prayers.
Love and hugs.
-- Edited by Doll at 20:09, 2006-02-02
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* We eventually realize that just as the pains of alcoholism had to come before sobriety, emotional turmoil comes before serenity. *
Welcome to MIP Rob, sounds like you already know what you need to do. Once you step back into AA you will be back on the road to recovery. I went to a meeting tonight, there's this guy who has 15 years and he always says "Step into the fear..." Makes sense to me. Just as I always say "courage is fear that has said its prayers." You can do it, one day at a time.You are in my prayers.
From As Bill Sees It - (a letter Bill W. wrote to a friend 1958) Quantity or Quality
“About this slip business – I would not be too discouraged. I think you are suffering a great deal from a needless guilt. For some reason or another, the Lord has laid out tougher paths for some of us, and I guess you are treading one of them. God is not asking us to be successful. He is only asking us to try to be. That, you are surely doing. So I would not stay away from AA through any feeling of discouragement or shame. It's just the place you should be. Why don’t you try just as a member? You don’t have to carry the whole AA on your back, you know!”
“It is not always the quantity of good things that you do, it is also the quality that counts.”
Above all, take one day at a time.”
~As Bill Sees It~ pg 11
Good to have you here. Get back to meetings. We all only have a daily reprieve. We're not cured.
I know exactly how you feel, I did 13 months ( even got my year chip! ) then went out and got done for drink driving in November. Since then I have had about 5 slips the last being last Wednesday (1.2.2006) after I heard I had been turned down for funding to go into rehab. I went to a meeting today and everyone was fine with me, although I do find it so very hard to go back, I feel everyone else seems to have 'got it' and I am still struggling. Finding this site very helpful as I am new here too. Good luck. Trudi
