I remember thinking I could do without most everything in my life, but I couldn't live without alcohol. I didn't need people. I had lost my family and friends and "who needs them?" became part of my "thinking". I didn't need to work and didn't need much money-- I could live homeless and beg for money for alcohol. I didn't have to eat much at all--I had proven that I could go without food for a while, as long as I had booze. I had myself convinced that nothing else was as important and I proved that by losing most everything that had been so important to me. When alcohol stopped having as much of an effect on calming my nerves and a good escape from all my many problems, and instead caused me more anxiety, extreme paranoia and suicidal thoughts I realized that if I didn't get help for my drinking, I was choosing to die. I started AA and my life slowly has turned around for the better. I cannot undo my past, but I can have a brighter future by staying sober one day at a time and I am grateful for that.
BTY
-- Edited by betterthanyesterday52 on Saturday 15th of February 2014 08:02:29 AM
One of THE most gratifying aspects of living the AA 'way of life' is to witness growth in someone else, someone special, someone who has opened a door to my heart ... thank you for being that special someone Grace ... wonderful share ...
I would have to add at least one more 'Before' ... ... ... Before 'Love' ... alcohol stole my ability to love, among so many other things ... I'm still trying to improve my ability to love ... and you know what, for me, it hasn't been that easy ... like the program, it requires practice ...
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
