Its been a while since I've had one of these....an MIP vent. I just had a horrible night at work. I work in a restaurant that was not running smoothly this evening. I was in a horrid mood due to the perfect storm of minor annoyances-The owners a jerk, my customers not so pleasant, I made very little money, the bar was especially loud tonight with patrons chanting drinking songs to a disco beat. It's the first time in a long time where I looked with envy at my coworkers sitting around enjoying their beers as we settle our money. Like a petulant, angry child I felt that 'why can't I just do that? Why can't I just not be an alcoholic? WHY?? Whaaaa'. I felt a tension building for which a 'couple' of bourbons-neat, double- momentarily seemed the only release. I then said the serenity prayer, got my butt home ASAP, ate some chocolate while composing a gratitude list and hopped on here. I'm very grateful for this site right now, as it's that time of night where I'm not sure who I could call without being rude. And I feel that tension releasing:) thanks for listening. What I'm most grateful for tonight? 20 months of sobriety as of today, as well as 5 months cigarette free- life ain't so bad, after all.
-- Edited by Col on Friday 17th of January 2014 11:52:59 PM
Good to hear from you and way to work your process and the program.....Shared pain, I always have felt, was pain lessened(keep it on me)...And yes there were many times I was so angry because I couldn't take that first one........Each time WE encounter a trying situation and we don't pick up it ,reinforces our will to do whatever it takes from reinstituting our devastation of active addiction all over again....It is said that freedom from active addiction does not equal recovering but on any given day it can be our best ASSET ..Congrats on 20 months,thats beautiful...And also losing the Fags.....I smoked 3 packs a day(well burned anyway)when I left Service in '69 and cold turkeyed everything all at once...and the puffing stuff was also a trip to release ,so I can identify highly...Yes each day ,free of the Monster allows us another opportunity of LIFE,, ,thanks for sharing yours ,wake refreshed, In the God of your understandings grace and mercy and I will step out and say tomorrow will be a better day, if so given, and especially another day FREE of Our obsession and Compulsion of active addiction...............goodnight........
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Selfishness-self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles.
Mahalo Sister...that was very supportive and additional support for my own recovery...Get my ass home...I'm home...had my chocolate on top of my 2 flavor ice cream...Doing gratitude thinking and review about the rythym of my sober life today and expressing gratitute with other MIP fellows. Nice helpful vent. (((hugs)))
Hi Col, Hey....you did all the right things to get through a time when everything seems to be going wrong! Sometimes it's all those little things we do that gets us through all the big things. What newly recovering alcoholic hasn't discovered the deep mystical secrets of Prayer and Chocolate??? Blessings...Mike D.
Congratulations on your 20 months and being off the cigarettes that long. I need to get off the smokes myself. I think you should give yourself credit for having the strength to work in a business where there is alcohol being served. I certainly couldn't last one day in an environment like that.
-- Edited by betterthanyesterday52 on Saturday 18th of January 2014 08:55:05 AM
Hi Col, ... Congrats also on the 20 and 5 ... ... ...
You did good ... there are times lately that I have just had to step back, take a big, deep breath, and say the 'Serenity Prayer' also ... this, for sure, helps keep me on the 'right track' and from detouring down some lonesome path ... ... ...
Only thing I wish for right now, is that you could find the time to share more frequently ... I, for one, miss you ... But I also haven't been here as much lately as I'd wish ... the moving thingy is letting up some, but still a ways to go ...
Love ya and God Bless, Pappy
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Col, wow... 20 months? For real? Now, just doing the math... thats like approximately 600 consecutive MIRACLES back to back.. in a row!! One day at a time!
Thats like 600 individual things to be grateful for!! One for every day sober!
Ya did good Girl! Keep it up! I shared with someone online last night from page 102 of the big book... who was at a gathering of people drinking and uncomfortable with it.
Why sit with a long face in places where there is drinking, sighing about the good old days. If it is a happy occasion, try to increase the pleasure of those there; if a business occasion, go and attend to your business enthusiastically. If you are with a person who wants to eat in a bar, by all means go along. Let your friends know they are not to change their habits on your account. At a proper time and place explain to all your friends why alcohol disagrees with you. If you do this thoroughly, few people will ask you to drink. While you were drinking, you were withdrawing from life little by little. Now you are getting back into the social life of this world. Don’t start to withdraw again just because your friends drink liquor.
Your job now is to be at the place where you may be of maximum helpfulness to others, so never hesitate to go anywhere if you can be helpful. You should not hesitate to visit the most sordid spot on earth on such an errand. Keep on the firing line of life with these motives and God will keep you unharmed.
Now, that being thrown out there, the big book also says if our motives are right and we are spiritually fit we can even go to ordinary Whoppie parties. Can someone tell me what a darn Whoppie party is? I feel like I am missing out on something exciting and kinda kinky! LMAO
Maybe I shouldn't know or go, cuz what my brain does with that line isn't very spiritual. LOL
Hope you have a better night at work tonight if you have to be there... and I agree with the others... please come here more often... you are missed.
It's awesome to hear from you Col. Sorry for your frustrating day but it actually sounds to me like you living life on life's terms so I am not sorry for that but inspired by it. I am so proud of you that you have that 20 months and are making other positive changes too. Thanks for the updates. Keep trudging!!!
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Keep coming back. It works if you work it. So work it. You're worth it!
