Many of us have had past crises and problems, yet our worries and anxieties continue in the present. We believe that our situation causes our fears and we say, "If only things were different, I could relax." Yet even when everything is going well, we still get anxious that something unseen is amiss. When we are immersed in our fears, unable to let go and live life joyfully, we may become emotionally absent from our loved ones.
Our problem is not that life is insecure. Of course it is. Our problem is that we expect to feel secure. We put great energy into achieving control and having everything "just right," but quite naturally we end up without control. Then we think something is wrong. Instead, we can choose to turn our fears over to our Higher Power. We do that by talking about our fears, taking the steps we can, and trusting our Higher Power for the outcomes. Then we return to emotional contact in our relationship.
Tell your partner something you fear and turn it over to your Higher Power.
Note: ... The challenges continue for Pappy to get 'settled-in' here in our new place ... seems the more I get done, the larger my list of 'things "to-do"' grows ... ... ... I dropped the ball for a while with the 'maintenance of my spiritual routine' and that has caused me to become unstable at best ... I must start each day right now thinking my life has been turned 'right-side up' rather than 'upside down' ... ... ... God Bless ...
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'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
I needed this too today, Pappy...i was just saying that I felt something bad was about to happen but I didn't know "what". Think that fear part you posted is what is going on.
I love the "right-side up" you used instead of "upside down". I will try to remember that, too and thank you for posting.
Note: ... The challenges continue for Pappy to get 'settled-in' here in our new place ... seems the more I get done, the larger my list of 'things "to-do"' grows ... ... ... I dropped the ball for a while with the 'maintenance of my spiritual routine' and that has caused me to become unstable at best ... I must start each day right now thinking my life has been turned 'right-side up' rather than 'upside down' ... ... ... God Bless ...
Pappy, I just wanted to share that I can relate in all points to what you have said here as I had allowed myself to become rather unstable by failing to keep first things first. My "to do" list settling into my new place, the first place I have had in a long time, continue to grow, and for a while, I made my work my higher power. Duties piled up, I dealt with some serious disappointments at work and, poof, started having panic attacks right around Christmas time. Meeting attendance had not been a priority. Remaining sober no longer felt like the most important task for the day and the turmoil I was feeling inside became indescribable.
I reached out to my sponsor who told me to breathe. I didn't want to breathe because as soon as I caught my breath, I would cry. We figured out what was really going on, and I dusted off the step work I had been sitting on. (I have worked the steps many times but during this recovery, I am on my second go around). The anxiety was still present but began to subside. I hit a couple of meetings and decided that I needed to do those things that worked in the beginning because if I did not, I was going to drink and for us, to drink is to die.
It is only by the grace of God that I was able to celebrate two years of sobriety on the twelfth of this month because I was going to drink on Christmas. I just wanted to drown out the anxiety I felt. Instead I called a lifeline and I thank God that I did.
I am so grateful that I got this reminder of what could happen when I don't maintain my spiritual program. What are the things that really matter? Stay sober, serve God, take care of my kids. Anything that does not fall into those three areas probably does not deserve much of my time or attention.
And another thing, I really need to say. Your voice here was missed. Just the few days since I have been back on the board, your absence has felt like a huge vacuum. Your influence here is powerful and positive. And sometimes when we are in our funk, we forget that, even if we think we may not need something, or that something will be just fine without us, we miss the bigger picture that our presence is not about us. It is about those who are blessed by it.
Glad to read your "voice" again. You and yours are in my prayers.
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"And we have ceased fighting anything or anyone-even alcohol. For by this time sanity will have returned."
Alcoholics Anonymous, Page 84
An addict is WHAT I am but it does not define all of WHO I am.
Thanks Jerry, ... When I posted this, I couldn't remember where I read that 'rightside up' comment ... and I was too pressed to get go'n to look up who said it ... thanks for the reminder ...
Thanks SolanoG for reminding me that we ARE human AND alcoholic and need to 'receive help' as well as 'give it' ...
Thanks BTY for your comment on Jerry's original post from whom I couldn't recall where I got that very helpful quote ...
Most of all, thanks for everyone's support and prayers ... it means the world to me ... literally!!!
Love you guys,
Pappy
__________________
'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
Pappy,
I hope things are going smoother. I am amazed at the amount of time that you have been able to get on here with just getting settled into your new home and doing that all through the holidays. I am grateful for whenever you are able to come on here and share.
Thanks BTY, ... things are going to be 'hit or miss' for a bit longer, but, I'm going to try to stay more 'up-to-date' than I have been here on the board lately ... you know how 'long-winded' I can get, LOL ... I simply can't come to this board with only 10 or 20 minutes to read and post ... I have to allow an hour minimum at least ... ... ... and those hours are hard to come up with right now ... BUT, I've gotten real tired of getting out and working in the cold, so I've been say'n the heck with it, I'm go'n in and try to catch up some here ... (the place we got came with 'fruit trees' that hadn't been pruned, the gutters were full, my tools still packed and hidden in an unheated separate garage, etc. ... ... ...) ... Moving's a 'Bit*h' ... ... especially when you have 60 years of accumulated 'stuff' ... LOL
(Monday it took me 3 1/2 hours just to get my 'drivers license' changed to Tenn. ... ... ... under any other conditions with less importance, and I'd of just said the heck with it and left, LOL)
Love ya and God Bless,
Pappy
__________________
'Those who leave everything in God's hand will eventually see God's hand in everything.'
