I'm slipping when I begin to dislike the company and conversation of the Program. --Anonymous
There is a reason why a lamb gets separated from a flock. The flock will be eating on a particular pasture and a lamb will take a fancy to graze just off to the edge of the field. So the lamb takes a little nibble of this grass. Then he moves just ever so slightly further from the edge and takes another little nibble, then just a bit further and another nibble.
Each little nibble of grass takes the lamb further and further from the flock. After awhile, having eaten enough grass, the lamb pokes his head up and notices that the flock has left him. B-A-A-A-A-A! the lamb wails. How could his flock have left him?
I will begin slipping when I stop paying attention to my flock. My group will not leave me: I will leave my group. I will leave like the lamb, just one conversation, one meeting at a time. After awhile I, too, could end up wailing for help just like the little lamb.
Love the reading, i am that little lamb, grazing where I want. Red Light Flashing.
It also reminds me of the concept of God Leaving..........He does Not Leave us...ever,...we leave Him,....and then wonder why we feel so disconnected. Step. 10, 11, 12,.................and repeat 10, 11, 12,......if I don't, I will end up at Step 1........again.
Thanks for the BIG TIP today. I actually took that into this very hard head this morning, I will
U know, i PREFER 12steppers as far as conversations go, so i guess i can feel good about this share.......oh i got sloppy about meetings cuz i have been so sick with the flu AND i am "temporizing" a bit becuz i was TOO obsessive about recovery and not living......now i think the pendulum is hitting center...i do my recovery time and i do my "take care of / please rosie" time.....good reminder, and soooo true/ rosie
I read this post, and I see myself as the fluffy little lamb. I have been drifting away from AA in a way, not because of a dislike of the conversations or company but due to a lack of time.
Since becoming sober, I also question anything that I don't totally agree with. Some aspects of AA I don't believe in or agree with.
Despite this, I follow the steps, attend a meeting when I get a chance (about 1 every 2 weeks as it is now) and come here at every chance.
Your post is so true both in nature and in AA, seen plenty of sheep fall off cliffs, seen less people fall from recovery.
Best wishes to all that are here, Bye for now.
Chris.
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"Computer games don't affect kids; I mean if Pac-Man affected us as kids, we'd all be running around in darkened rooms, munching magic pills and listening to repetitive electronic music." -- Kristian Wilson, Nintendo, Inc, 1989"
I guess this is why it is stressed that the number one reason people relapse is that they stop going to meetings. I myself have a hard time getting to them-I like the 9 am ones, because they don't interfere with my work (I work nights) but I have a hard time getting up for them when it's cold. And the noon meetings are too close to when I need to get lunch and run errands before work.
Another problem is how much gasoline costs-this is why I don't consider going to other meetings than my home group. I hear there are some at all hours some places, but not near me. (I can walk to my meetings on nice days, it's less than 3 miles away.)
Sounds like I'm making excuses, right? At first, I DID try to avoid meetings-they were suggested months ago, before I went to rehab, when I was just seeing a psychotherapist and hoping I could quit drinking if he helped. I wouldn't go to AA though-and I kept drinking, more and more. So I ended up having rehab suggested, and finally went after getting a bit scared by some drinking episodes. At the hospital, AA was once more pushed on me. Seems everyone thought it was a key to sobriety! To me, it sounded so odd, probably boring, so not me. But once I started going, I found I liked the meetings A LOT! (Heck, I even dreamed of them!) I see now that I do look forward to them, and feel guilty when I don't go (if I was up at the time.) I almost wish my workplace had an AA group! I am starting to see why some folks practically live for AA.
Yet I also see how easy it is to slip away. I know with me, I get kind of "gung-ho" about lots of things, at the start. Then I lose my enthusiasm, and stop taking part as often. This has happened with everything from attending baseball games, rock concerts, theater, collectibles shows, to reading and exercising. I am now trying to expand my interests and activities, and include AA as a nearly daily part-and at least I read this every day! But the face to face meetings are probably the best-and I think I read in my Bible yesterday that the reason for people to meet together is to encourage one another-the Bible was talking about Christians in the early church, but I feel it's the same with AA. Encouragement from somebody else is what can keep people from slipping into the negative thoughts and actions that lead to drinking. Being reminded you are not alone in this fight, and that there are tools to use (the Big Book, 12 steps, sponsors, etc.) also helps one keep sober. Being around people who understand and care doesn't hurt, either!
So I see why AA meetings are considered crucial in recovery. I hope I will continue to attend, and increase how often I do so. I like the people, I find the stories interesting, and I usually leave feeling more upbeat and energetic than when I came. I hope I never slip away and lose my flock! But like getting into the additcion cycle itself, slipping away is gradual, and you really need to watch for the signs you are at risk. It is so easy to let complacency start, and THAT is so dangerous!
I applaud those who attend daily meetings and work. I'd like to do that, but so far, it isn't practical for me. But I do plan to keep going to AA, and maybe visit another group with one of my friends sometime. I need this habit! I do not want to be the little lost lamb! I hope I'm never again fool enough to think I can do this on my own!
