In The Living Sober book I have been reading there is a special chapter about "Be Wary of Drinking Occassions".  I know for myself that I am not able to attend any function where alcohol is being served. I couldn't attend a wedding and a recent Christmas party where this was the case, although I kept getting asked to go, despite the "askers" knowing about my alcohol problem and the fact that I am in recovery. (What's ironic to me is that both of these people are recovering alcoholics themselves.) So, as far as me being around alcohol for the holidays, it ain't gonna happen. I am still early in my sobriety and know I cannot even be around a wine bottle without the taste of wine coming in my mouth and the urge to drink again will be there. I'm safe as long as I don't go. However, there are events during this time of year which others in recovery may feel they must attend and I thought this may be helpful...

This section in the Living Sober book gives some good tips about either avoiding these events or if you must attend, how to get through them without drinking. These books are available for sale online and they offer them for sale in my local AA meetings and are displayed with other AA literature. They are inexpensive however, if you cannot afford one, I am sure you can just look through the book without anyone minding at one of your meetings. (If anyone says anything, possibly you can suggest to them a good chapter titled "Live and Let Live" which is on pg. 10 of Living Sober :). This chapter I am referring to is on page 64. It gives a lot of responses to explain to others why you cannot/are not drinking. Although some may find this helpful, if and when I am able to attend such an event where there will be alcohol, I don't think I will have any problem saying "No thanks" without giving any other explanation for my abstinence as it is really no one else's business. I have been an "explainer" all my life for my behavior and thoughts and I am really trying to get out of all of that. I want to reach the point where I don't feel I need to make excuses to others for doing what I know is right for me. However, for those who do feel pressured to explain why they are not drinking, some of the ones in this book are....

"I'm not drinking this week (or this month)"

"I don't care for any"

"Health reasons"

"Doctor's orders"

"Had all I can handle"

"Found out it doesn't agree with me"

(Living Sober, pg. 67)

I have just given a few of the suggestions. There is emphasis on being honest rather than feeling like you need to tell a falsehood, because it may make you feel worse about yourself and this program is about honesty. Also there is information about how to deal with people who try and pressure one into drinking. Personally, I don't think I will have any issue with this if I do attend one of these events as I think anyone who tries to persuade another to drink alcohol after they have told them they don't want to drink has a lot of nerve. Especially if it is someone that knows I am in recovery. They are certainly not interested in looking out for my best interests.  I am going to take care of myself and no one can force me to drink and it is really up to me to stay sober and not feel what is like going through teenage "peer pressure" to drink just because well, "the other kids are all doing it".

Anyway, just wanted to post this as I know that holidays were extremely stressful times for me and I used them as an excuse to drink more. I plan to go to an event on New Year's where my AA friends will be and where there will be no alcohol. I don't want one of my New Year's Resolutions to be...."I'm going to try and stop drinking.....again."

Happy and Sober Holidays Everybody!