Aloha S and welcome to the board and congradulation the sober time...I go with Pink's suggestion along with some of the stuff I also learned in early recovery.  One was when I stopped doing what I habitually use to do I needed to substitute other thoughts, feelings and behaviors which were more healthy and positive.  I stopped boozing and all the stuff that came with it, some of that really dramatic and started a very very different way of conducting my life...it was strange; mind, body, spirit and emotions.   I was on another planet!!  Sadness also told me that I was missing alot of the activities I use to be involved in (not all good) and the people that went with it.  When you make yourself open to the experiences of the many others around you in program you can ask them how do they handle "your" feelings and thoughts and what do they do as a solution.  I've never met a member who was unwilling to share their ESH on that subject with me and for that I am most grateful. Reach out often and learn...there are alot of solutions which you can pick on.  One of the "sadness" solutions I got was so simple I was surprised.  I was going thru the "sadness swamp" and got caught at it by a teenaged member.  I reached out and mentioned what I was thinking and feeling and she brightly told me, "Don't you know Jerry F...Happiness is an inside job"!!  It was in me all the time and all I had to do what choose it instead of the doldrums.  I didn't need a special reason to be happy.   I don't need a special reason to begrateful.  I know what happiness feels like; I know how to practice (do) happy.  Feeling sad is a bad choice at all times.  (((hugs))) 

Congrats on doing so well! It is tough to get past 6 months. For some, the new shine of the program fades and it is more work. Real life. That thing we kinda drank to escape.

I would ask you to consider it like getting used to new shoes. Letting this phase of sobriety break in. It will get better. More like a short phase you are going thru. As long as you are working the program and keeping in spiritual shape, you can ride out a low spot. And who know, that may be your lesson.

Your sobriety is not a fragile thing. It can handle the hard times. We have a program built for real life.

Glad you stopped by.

Take care.

Hi Sarah, My experience was that I was a virtual roller coaster of wide-ranging emotions for no apparent reason in my first year of sobriety.  In other words, I didn't feel stable and settled inside.  What I found out is that this was pretty normal for an alcoholic like me who had always been walking around in a drugged, or numbed state for many years before.  I hadn't allowed myself to feel anything for years.  So, I had to learn to allow myself to feel.  I found that things leveled out as I actively worked through the Steps, and continued to reach out to God in prayer.  It was my actions that changed me inside....nothing else.  Blessings, Mike D.

Thank you all so much. Its so simple I forget. I do not know how to be bored... and that makes me sad like I'm doing something wrong. I am glad to find I am a good happy person under all that mess I was . This year has been so hard, and I am ready to be happy all the time, and that is just unrealistic. I need to give myself a brake from time to time, but I occasionally treat my sobriety as if I'm at war. And there are certainly no brakes in war. I'm finding that no matter how hard I work, I only really feel good when I also sleep good, eat well, and not freak out when I feel something odd going on. I still freak out, I'm new, but at least I'm trying. Never giving up. I'm currently working on step 11. But, these bouts of feeling yucky seem to be just part of the first year. From what I've heard from my sponsor, group meetings, and here. I just forget! A boring day or sad day does not mean my program isn't working! Thanks again, I really needed other points of view.

My 9th step was very hard, and oh what a blessing. I tell others pigs must be flying somewhere because my cousin agreed to meet with me, my parents have respect for me, and the father of my kids is in love with me and likes me at the same time. Lol now, sometimes I just have bored, sad, maybe lonely days when I should be so very greatful... and I am. I am learning how to be OK just being OK. And its hard! I think forgiving myself was the hardest of all, and so my 4th and 5th step were very important. As are they all, but I felt a change comming in my 4 the step. Also, meditation is hard for me, since I'm a go go go kinda person.

pinkchip wrote:

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Maybe you are an ordinarily happy person that just needs to accept some random periodic "not so great" days. Us alcoholics and addicts think we should be happy all the time. That would be fake...like being high. We have to learn to be sad and bored and have some negative feelings and stay sober too. It's life. Probably you are just getting used to your sober state still and feelings other than happy are awkward and uncomfortable. This too shall pass.

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 I love this and will read it in the future  there I went trying to be perfect again! Sigh

I heard you saying that meditation is hard for you because you're a "go-go person".  You sound a lot like me.  At first, when I initially began Step 11, I found meditation to be sort of difficult myself.  I went through a short time where I felt like I was failing at it.  I thought I must not be doing it right, mainly because I was always getting distracted by fleeting thoughts that would sneak into my active brain.  I almost gave up on it.  But then, I heard someone say, "The only way you can fail at meditation is to stop meditating."  So, I kept on trying and I'm glad I did.  Meditation at Step 11 has changed everything for me.  I hope you won't mind if I offer the following to you.

Here's the simple way I began long ago:

1.)  I spend a few moments in prayer -- a favorite written prayer...or just talking casually with God.

2.)  Next, I read a short passage from a favorite devotional book, and think about what the words are saying.  I try to picture how those words could change my actions in my daily life.

3.)  Then, I end with a few more moments of prayer.

The thing is, you can spend 5 minutes doing this, or you could spend an hour.  It doesn't matter.  Even if you spend 3 minutes, you're succeeding at Step 11.

 

Blessings, Mike D.